1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, there is no "self", "me"' or "I"' at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form and there never was.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
Watching "I" thoughts arise, it may start with a sensation, for example, someone speaking to "me". The sensation is known and meaning is perceived. The perceived meaning references "me". Feelings arise associated with the thought and more thoughts arise from the feelings and thoughts about these thoughts. This network of thoughts is the illusion of "I".
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Although it doesn't happen all the time, it frequently happens that direct experience occurs spontaneously. In other words, there is experience without constant judgement and interpretation. The experience arise, persists and passes away without an "I" or a "me" being involved. There is less internal monlogue in general.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
It was the question about inside and outside. Fear had been an underlying theme in my responses to your questions. The question about whether there is an inside and outside in direct experience brought that fear to the front. Seeing that there was no inside and outside and that there was nothing to fear broke the illusion.
5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control?
Decision, choice and intention are kinds of thoughts related to actions. Free will and control are kinds of thoughts related to meaning and interpretation. Conditons make things happen. As conditions are suitable, life continues in the form identified as "me". Those conditions make me breath, make my heart beat and make thoughts of decision, choice and intention arise.
What makes things happen? How does it work? ... Give examples from experience.
I am writing a response to these questions. There are countless conditions that give rise to this action. Some of the conditions are thoughts like "It is beneficial for me to answer these questions", "I will answer these questions" and the fingers strike the keys according to conditions of body memory of where the keys are and all sorts of other knowing (and things done without knowing).
What are you responsible for?
Thoughts, actions and feelings can be helpful, neutral or harmful. Cultivating decision, choices and intentions that give rise to helpful actions lead to conditions suitable for other helpful thoughts, actions and feelings. While there is no me responsible for things, there are thoughts, feelings and actions and cultivating helpful ones is beneficial.
6) Anything to add?
This is a wonderful process. Thanks to you Ilona and to all those who facilitate this activity.
"May all beings be peaceful and happy. May all beings be free from suffering."
Kindest regards,
- Otto
