dropping into "what is" in social settings.

[AnaisIs]

Hello! I am a new member. I have been integrating all these "spiritual" pointers/concepts into my daily life. I can see/feel when I am alone, Though--I keep getting stuck in social interactions. I would love to connect with a liberated being! and then I can explain more.

Thanks,
Anais

[StepVheN]

Yeah, that's the great fabrication we're sold. That we can use things like this as tools to change our life.
you have to change your life first, then the rest will happen naturally.

Is there a self?

[AnaisIs]

Wow, I feel so happy that someone special has replied!! (and yes I know that is my ego, but the excitment needed to be shared :))

So on with the self. I read an earlier post and someone suggested comparing "self" actions, like brushing teeth or typing, to the weather outside. This did sink in, a little.

Honestly, I do feel something I identify as the self. It is a clenching in my below my ribs and a sensation along my upper back to a little above my head.

[AnaisIs]

If any one comes to this page and wants to join in feel free!

[StepVheN]

Wow, I feel so happy that someone special has replied!! (and yes I know that is my ego, but the excitment needed to be shared :))

Fascinating.

So on with the self. I read an earlier post and someone suggested comparing "self" actions, like brushing teeth or typing, to the weather outside. This did sink in, a little.

Honestly, I do feel something I identify as the self. It is a clenching in my below my ribs and a sensation along my upper back to a little above my head.

Here's our method for this. You're going to have to stop trusting the legitimacy of your own ideas/feelings and instead test them.

How do you know that that sensation belongs to a self?

[AnaisIs]

Ooooo...okay! It responds to me and my thoughts. But then its not me if it is responding. Again: How are my thoughts me? I think them. Well if I think them, then they are the effect/action--not me. I hear people talking and feel self-concious/paranoid. Not me, a response to my thought. My thought, again--not me.

I love breaking the trust between "me" and "feelings". What a wonderful notion to deconstruct!

I feel this. This--not me. I do this. This--not me.

!!!! Cant wait to hear back.

[AnaisIs]

I am scared of what they think of me. Me feels like me. But if I can this about me (the me that is being hurt). Then it is not me.

[StepVheN]

Ooooo...okay! It responds to me and my thoughts.

What makes them your thoughts ?


You're over thinking this already getting too conceptual. All you need to do is look to see if there is a self.

But then its not me if it is responding. Again: How are my thoughts me?

Not why. You're not at the point of asking "why?" yet
You don't know if your thoughts are you yet. Start there, leave why for later.

Are your thoughts you?

That question assumes a self owns the thoughts. Instead a clearer question is "Are thoughts you? Are you thoughts?"

I think them.

Where is the "you" that thinks them?


Well if I think them, then they are the effect/action--not me. I hear people talking and feel self-concious/paranoid. Not me, a response to my thought. My thought, again--not me.

[StepVheN]

Too much thinking going on and not enough looking and taking stock of reality.

You shouldn't be thinking about reality until you've actually taken a good long hard look at it.
You need to know what it is you are trying to think about.

[AnaisIs]

I sat today and observed. Thoughts did arise. When I am "feeling reality" the experiences are just that, without an I. Hearing...feeling...seeing...thinking.

[StepVheN]

Here we're talking about the difference between seeing and thinking.

All of this is conceptual content with no grounding in experience.

What is this feeling... seeing... stuff about? Why are you listing senses and folowing them with a trail of dots... That means nothing. Please stop that and apply yourself here.

Focus. Focus. Focus. You didn't observe. Whatever you think you did, it wasn't observing. If you truly observed for even a moment you would be free. You sat and you thought and you did nothing and you said "I'm observing" you didn't observe you're not observing now you're not even applying yourself here.

I need your commitment to liberation. Are you going to liberate yourself? Or are you going to make pointless cryptic statements...


Look riight now.


Is there a you? look

[AnaisIs]

I am commited!

Right after I read your response I FOCUSED into the moment. Before "I was trying" to relaxed myself into the "moment". Now, I realize it is a ruthless concentrated space. Within those moments it/life was crisp and cleaner.

[AnaisIs]

By the way: I am not trying to be unclear.

[StepVheN]

You say you are commited.

Committed enough to throw aside all you think you know about this? Forget about presence and buddhism and joyful surrender. Forget it all.

When I tell you to look at the absence of you ( which I will in a moment) I want you to look at it in as simple terms as possible search your senses for the self as you would search for your coffee cup.

I understand this is new to you. That you've got a discipline nd a knowledge base alredy.

It's time to kill the buddha.

It's time to drop all of that.

Given a choice between all the happiness and pleasure spirituality and eastern philosophy has brought and liberation you need to step into the unknown and choose liberation.

I want you to look.

Is there a you?

A real AnaisIs ? Is there anything any self at all?

Look.