Hi Daniel,
Hi
I just wanted to be sure...
It is not that you are using the word "I", But if you say: "yesterday meditating I could reach a point of no-self.", it seems to me someone is having a project there.
Ok, on an honest "look" I still can't see how to get rid of the idea of "I" or me to communicate. And I don't know how can I see something that doesn't exist. I understand that there's no self, but I don't "see" it. In my experience there's no one, but I feel like is intellectual.
I will answer the question to see if the point that is being difficult is understood or experienced:
Ok I give you the 6 "final" questions, maybe your answers to that will clear things up. Here they are:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, there isn't and there never was.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
Ok, from my experience there's a stream of thoughts that the mind capture and try to form a coherent idea of identification, like this is "me" , "I am that", etc... The feelings of the body are actually a collection of sensations that the mind interpret like happening to someone or something that exists. Because the mind can make a thought that appears coherent saying "I exist", that doesn't mean it does.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I feel liberation, but what I know that you are pointing that when it happens there's no possibility of "unsee" it. And really I can't unsee that, but sometimes I (the idea of an ego) gets "captured" by the stories .
That's why I have moments where I see there's no self, and other moments I still see that there's no self, but I get caught in the thoughts.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
In my experience I realized that we look in others behavior patterns that we take as our own. And then gets rooted in consciousness as if that was me, I am smart, I am silly... etc...
In that way I realized the self doesn't exist. There's no self.
But my confusion comes because I feel identification with reality, I feel there's a self that is the whole reality. The big I AM that can be perceived too. Consciousness is beginning to perceive itself, that's what I feel, but maybe I am wrong.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
All those are thoughts and ideas, perceived by the mind that creates the idea of self, of someone that has control.
For example, I realized that when you move your hand or your arm, there's a thought like "I raised my hand". That doesn't prove that I was the one who choose to raise it. The hand is raised, and then the mind take that action as his action. It's just a thought.
6) Anything to add?
I was trying to do things without thinking or lets say, without being involved in the thoughts, but I feel like there's fear of making something wrong. Maybe it's fear who is making the identification with the non-existent self.
Warm regards, Petrus
Thanks Peter for your patience.
:-)
Dan
