I feel close, but unsure.

[s-p-a-c-e]

- That's a good question. Yes, but in not every moment. Slips happen. "Me I Self" have been around so very long.

- Well, yes. How can one most easily see their "Self" as others see it in them?

- There is a keen-ness yes. But it's more about your continuing to checking the unfolding than any specific topic. I have read some of the threads of others you are working with. You give very valuable and nuanced guidance and I would like to continue with that.

- Otherwise - it feels like it's a matter of this work continuing. Which it is.

Going back to - casting the gaze back and seeing no-one there, and the shock of that - now, when you just sit, I'm presuming it doesn't feel like it once did. Expecting to have a driver there, and there be no-one at the wheel, and no fucking wheel either :D - geez, that is a shocker.

So, what is it like just sitting and the sense of being you?

If perhaps you did feel to have a locus behind the eyes, where is it now ? Or nowhere in particular?
What is your general emotional state compared to how it was?

Many thanks,
John

[Dennis90405]

So, what is it like just sitting and the sense of being you?

Hi there John.

Sitting is a pleasure. It's a more stable centered feeling then.

The sense of being me? Sitting notwithstanding, a sense of "dis-me-ment", which is a kind of out-of-body pit-of-the-stomach feeling. The intensity of that sense varies from mild to "Katie bar the door".

If perhaps you did feel to have a locus behind the eyes, where is it now ? Or nowhere in particular?
What is your general emotional state compared to how it was?

The locus moves around, from just below the belly button to the middle of my chest.

The emotional state: a sense of free fall. Waking up first thing in the morning is panicky, then calms down after I sit. It is getting better admittedly. At times there is an exhilarating sense of freedom and at times feelings of energy flow in the body.

Have you heard of anyone becoming more empathetic during this process?

Thank you so much, John.

Best,
Dennis

[s-p-a-c-e]

All sounds tickety-boo.

Have you heard of anyone becoming more empathetic during this process?

You mean starting to feel life more and more?

Best wishes,
John

[Dennis90405]

Hi John.

You mean starting to feel life more and more?

Ummmm yeh sort of. I do some energy/shamanic work that involves direct feeling/sensing of other peoples emotions and other baggage, then help them deal with it. Since The Gate the sensing has become much more acute.

But maybe this would be considered a "spiritual" thing and so be inappropriate to discuss in this forum.

What do you think?

Gratitude,
Dennis

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi John.

You mean starting to feel life more and more?

Ummmm yeh sort of. I do some energy/shamanic work that involves direct feeling/sensing of other peoples emotions and other baggage, then help them deal with it. Since The Gate the sensing has become much more acute.

But maybe this would be considered a "spiritual" thing and so be inappropriate to discuss in this forum.

What do you think?

Gratitude,
Dennis

Each seeing seems to have quite a different scope and depth. It would come as no surprise to hear of the heart opening significantly, especially when prior work had been ongoing. How lovely. :)

With warmest wishes,
John

[Dennis90405]

It would come as no surprise to hear of the heart opening significantly, especially when prior work had been ongoing. How lovely. :)

Thank you John.

So what is the path here now for this experience of the guider and the guided? Continue or let it be?

With gratitude always,
Dennis

[s-p-a-c-e]

It would come as no surprise to hear of the heart opening significantly, especially when prior work had been ongoing. How lovely. :)

Thank you John.

So what is the path here now for this experience of the guider and the guided? Continue or let it be?

With gratitude always,
Dennis

Hi Dennis,

Well, for LU purposes, our focus is on seeing clearly the perspective called 'self'/persona for what it is and isn't.

This will unfold as it does. We have a variety of forums to support and explore this unfolding.

Sitting here now, reading this, how would you describe the experience of reading?
Would it involve a reader? If not, have a go describing the experience.

With best wishes,
John

[Dennis90405]

Hi John,

Sorry about the absence. Life make its demands.

Sitting here now, reading this, how would you describe the experience of reading?
Would it involve a reader? If not, have a go describing the experience.

Reading is happening...there is no reader. Nothing is coming up that separates the reading experience from the multiple experiences happening in the present moment - breathing, sitting, typing at the computer. It all feels like a unified flow, and it all feels natural.

With thanks,
Dennis

[s-p-a-c-e]

Reading is happening...there is no reader. Nothing is coming up that separates the reading experience from the multiple experiences happening in the present moment - breathing, sitting, typing at the computer. It all feels like a unified flow, and it all feels natural.

Cool, thanks Dennis.

Could you have a look at these pointers cunningly disguised as questions :) and write whatever shows up...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there
ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How
does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

With kind thanks!
John

[Dennis90405]

Could you have a look at these pointers cunningly disguised as questions :) and write whatever shows up...

Yikes...what a big task list, sir. ;) It took me a while to get to it.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Nope, no separate entity. There never was, (although "I" believed in "me"). There exists a personality, a fictional character masquerading as "me", but it has no shape, form or reality.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

It seems that the illusion of separate self is just a thought based on a collection of thoughts. Thoughts arise in a continuous stream and some of them get stitched together into a "story of me" to have a personality to present to others. The "self" is the actor's face mask the world sees. No real harm in this except when the "self" is identified with. It's the "self" identifying with "itself".
It starts as a young child, when adults teach the child to be "me/I". They provide the child with identity facts like it's name, age, history, traits. As a very young child I distinctly remember "judgments" being passed to me by my family that "stuck" to me and became part of "who I was/am". I went out into the world with a whole set of labels.
Now that person named "Dennis" is a character I slip into and out of at will, mostly. I'm working on not taking "Dennis" too seriously.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels liberating - an effect of being in truth. The difference is gradual departure of being trapped in a story. At first it was fearsome, as in having no firm ground. Next came a realization of actually being ground, but with a lot of fear attached to that. Now there is a growing feeling of comfort, and exhilaration, at times. Meditation has become a time to shed "Dennis" like a change of clothes.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Two bits: a lot of suffering, and reading some teacher/guru types that said liberation is possible right now.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

Those things are thoughts: labels for naturally occurring process.

What makes things happen?

Life.

How does it work?

Ask life that one. :) It looks like it works by itself.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

I would guess I'm responsible to see truth, and not resist or fight it. The most immediate example is the suffering felt from past resistance, and from identifying with the "sufferer" That suffering is in decline. :)

6) Anything to add?

Yes. Thank you!


Much much gratitude for your guidance and patience.

Best,
Dennis

[s-p-a-c-e]

Thanks Dennis!

One of our guides is interested to ask you: "why do you say life makes things happen? how do you know that? how would you describe your experience of life?"

Best wishes,
John

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Dennis,

Good to hear from you. :)

So, where are you at?

Much love,
John

[Dennis90405]

Hello John,

Thank you so much for having me back. Its been a year, nearly. An interesting year.

So where am I at?
I do not identify with "self". Not that it's automatic or easy, or that I don't get caught up in "The Dennis Fiction". There have been nearly 67 years of building and reinforcing this character I purport to be. But its ok.

The bigger questions continue to be "Now what?" and "Holy crap, another illusion I didn't notice before! What do I do with this?"

I sometimes feel like a writer re-creating a character in an old novel. "Who shall I be out there in the world? Who shall Dennis be, moving forward? Who is Dennis meant to be? Is Dennis meant to be?"

------------------------------------------------------------

I want to answer your questions to me from a year ago. (Excuse please. I forgot how to use the quotes function.)

John: [One of our guides is interested to ask you]

"why do you say life makes things happen?

I misspoke. Life doesn't "make" things happen. Life just is. There is no maker. Things happen.

"how do you know that?"

I can't seem to find a maker that makes things happen. Maybe the maker is hiding out with the self somewhere?

"how would you describe your experience of life?"

Experiences happen. "Dennis" tries to call them "his experiences" and to control those experiences as if he is somehow separate from life.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Thank you John.

Best,
Dennis

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Dennis,

The bigger questions continue to be "Now what?" and "Holy crap, another illusion I didn't notice before! What do I do with this?"

What's the illusion you notice now?

Best wishes,
John

[Dennis90405]

s-p-a-c-e wrote:
What's the illusion you notice now?

That some of my relationships are not really happy and healthy at all, as I'd thought them to be.

Thanks,
Dennis