My imagined thread

[Canfora]

Should I be concerned with you? Are you okay?

[Florisness]

Thank you for your concern. I'm fine though, don't have a break installed in this body so it's already back to work/looking

[Canfora]

Happy to know you're fine. What have you been looking at? Is there something in your experience that seems to be a self?

[Florisness]

Woke up in the middle of the night -which seems to have become a habit- and I thought 'is there a I?' and an idea came up which was interesting and thought okay, let's work with this.

Important side-note: This story is happening in a lab, so put on your white jacket please.

My brain got separated in a lab from the body. Now my family came to visit the me so they had to decide first what the hell I am. Since the body didn't contain a me "anymore" -and frankly looking a bit frightening with that huge hole in the head, unblinking eyes and open mouth- they decided to speak to the brain. With what seems to be an amazing luck, there it was, the perfect cable which they could jam into the brain so they could talk to it and receive answers, what a coincidence right? Exactly what they needed. So they jammed that wire in and on a screen appeared the brain thought: 'what the hell is going on here?' well my family was happy and all said 'hello, found you! we think..' and the screen went 'ah crap' + image of dislikes of family (yes they also got projected on the screen - bad brainday). And the family went 'oh, can't you filter those pessimistic thoughts out?' and on the screen appeared a random photo of a flower, the text 'no doesn't seems to be so' and an embarrassing ideal fantasy. After a few more very revealing moments to the family they asked 'so uhh, what do you experience there?' and the screen said 'yes that's very weird, just your voices and these thoughts' and family replied 'hmm so.. what are we speaking to?'

Here the fantasy dissolved and turned into real-life again but the questioning continued. So I asked 'since I can't control these thoughts, but the appearance of these thoughts is all there is, is there really a me?' and a 'uuuhhhh crap, some big ass illusion going on.' answer came (and actually a random picture of a dog at this point, but that's is not so relevant haha). And than I thought 'even though these thoughts appear and disappear, they all seem to happen in a always present.. space..' and then every sensation became very goddamned intense. They became very intense and my head felt like going to explode. Then a marvelous idea came up! Why not control this rising awareness by directing it with a idea I have of what awareness is? (haha this still cracks me up many hours later) And it fucked the whole thing up. hahahaha

[Canfora]

Loved your post. It made me laugh! Now waiting for something to say as an answer to pop up :)
(I need a coffee)

Because suddenly "are you the brain?" and "are you awareness?" doesn't seem like a good enough reply...... :(

[Florisness]

Should I know it when it is done? I mean there is no I in experience, and if there would be an I it would be here. But it's not.. So I would like to repeat the question; Should I know when it is done?

[Canfora]

Well, I did know when it was done.
Even if my wonderful guide would told me, "no, that's not it" I wouldn't believe her.
I could see for myself that there isn't a self here and now.
Simple as that.

[Florisness]

okay thanks

[Canfora]

Many people share experiencing a swinging between "I got it", "I lost it" before the seeing settles.
And there are also the ones that think they've lost the seeing and are guided again.
From what I have seen since I've been connected to LU, there is a large spectrum of experiences that may happen while gate crossing and dealing (or not) with the implications of this seeing.

Anyway, here is one of my favorite questions, I would like to read your answer (if you're in a answering questions mood): how would you explain this seeing to a friend that never thought about these subject?

[Florisness]

Thank you for that. Well I'll answer that when it's done if you don't mind.
It's much closer now (or however to put it). I think the only holding on left is a light sense of ownership and maybe some tiny control sense. Some kind of sense of nothing is revealing itself, I guess there will be some resistente against this nothingness later on haha

[Canfora]

Well I'll answer that when it's done if you don't mind.

The use of the "done" concept in this context makes me wonder what you mean by done.

So, if there is no you, what can you see in your experience that can reach this "done" experience?
How would "done" look like?
How would you feel, how would you change?
And what would be this you that would be done?

a light sense of ownership

What do you think is this you that owns a slight sense of ownership?

Some kind of sense of nothing is revealing itself, I guess there will be some resistente against this nothingness later on haha

Can you have a look and describe this "sense of nothing", this "nothingness", please?

[Florisness]

So, if there is no you, what can you see in your experience that can reach this "done" experience?
How would "done" look like?
How would you feel, how would you change?
And what would be this you that would be done?

Well definitely not the body, thoughts or sensations.
Yes a few minutes back I noticed an urge to attain (I know that's bullshit but that was how the urge felt) this no-self fast, but I could sense that that was based on fear. I think this desire (based on fear) comes from a desire (based on fear.. jeez this is all fear based) is to be able to deal with life, which is just a thought. Haha! hmm actually I think it is to not have to deal with life anymore, yeah an escape from dealing with things. And what is it that wants to escape this all? That is just to not feel bad emotions anymore. Yes I know though, there is not a me that feels emotions, there is just the emotion happening.

What do you think is this you that owns a slight sense of ownership?

It is just a thought/feeling nothing more.

Can you have a look and describe this "sense of nothing", this "nothingness", please?

Well the way it is appearing to be (or feel?) like is that this body/sensations are happening in nothing.

[Canfora]

Have a look. What is the fear trying to protect?
Can you SEE the you that feels the fear and is trying to understand why the fear is felt and that is in danger?

Look, look, look (physically look).

Well the way it is appearing to be (or feel?) like is that this body/sensations are happening in nothing.

How can they be appearing in nothing? If they're appearing they're appearing among all that is being experienced right now, no?

Allness/awareness/life/experience/nothingness - does reality need a label to be seen as it is? What do you see?

[Florisness]

Have a look. What is the fear trying to protect?

It seems to protect an idea of a me. A certain situation(s) that it doesn't want to happen. But when I notice that, it doesn't feel personal or anything like that.

Can you SEE the you that feels the fear and is trying to understand why the fear is felt and that is in danger?

I did that, I found it strange that that was a strange experience, looking at "my" body while questioning that.

How can they be appearing in nothing? If they're appearing they're appearing among all that is being experienced right now, no?

Yes well it did feel something like that when noticing the feeling sensations, not so much with seeing.

Allness/awareness/life/experience/nothingness - does reality need a label to be seen as it is? What do you see?

Uhh, what do I see? What do you mean? And nono, no need for a label

[Canfora]

It seems to protect an idea of a me.

Is it possible to protect an idea?
Does an idea need protection?
Are you an idea?

But when I notice that, it doesn't feel personal or anything like that.

Yes. But did you found a you that is/was afraid?

I did that, I found it strange that that was a strange experience, looking at "my" body while questioning that.

Is the body in danger because you're doing this inquiry? Is the body a you that is in danger?

Uhh, what do I see? What do you mean?

It seems you don't quite understand what I mean with this question?
This is a literal question. It does not have an hidden meaning.

Imagine that we are talking about dragons.
And you tell me you think dragons exist.
And I ask you, How do you know? Can you see dragons? What do you see that is a dragon, can you show it to me?

I've asked you more than once what do you see when you look at reality.
Because I want to make sure you are looking to this experience.
If there is a you in this experience, it must be findable.
And you have to look to what is here, as it is, to find this you. That's why I tell you to look.
Let me know what are your doubts about this.