Still searching

[Dangermouse]

Hi Sarah,

Ok. Look for what wants to let it go? Is that a thought? And if there is emotion there too, is there thought explaining what that emotion is, creating a story around it?

It's just a thought of 'I want to let go'. And yes, my thoughts do create 'stories'. I've been for a long walk this morning just 'being', and it was so peaceful. I'm lucky enough to live in a small village.

But is it thought that explains experience? That describes it, that says where it is, what colour it is, what texture, labelling everything.........?
What minds the thinking? Another thought? Can thought think? What can thought actually 'know'?

I think life just 'is'. Thoughts can't know anything but they create this illusion of 'me' to explain everything. It's another thought and another and another... and when I look I can't find who they are telling the stories to.

I'm not explaining myself very well Sarah.

Love
Jackie
x

[Sarah7]

Hey Jackie
You: It's just a thought of 'I want to let go'. And yes, my thoughts do create 'stories'. I've been for a long walk this morning just 'being', and it was so peaceful. I'm lucky enough to live in a small village.

Me: is there an expectation that thought will stop, or get quieter, or not create an illusion? Do you see this is all thought wanting something other than what is?

You: I think life just 'is'. Thoughts can't know anything but they create this illusion of 'me' to explain everything. It's another thought and another and another... and when I look I can't find who they are telling the stories to.

Me: Lovely. So how does thought creat an illusion if they can't think? Are they doing it on purpose? What minds the thought?

You: I'm not explaining myself very well Sarah.
Me: you are doing fine!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Dangermouse]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks so much for staying with me

is there an expectation that thought will stop, or get quieter, or not create an illusion? Do you see this is all thought wanting something other than what is?

Yes, there is Sarah. I think I'm wanting thoughts to stop creating so much distress in my life by becoming quieter. I sometimes wish they would stop altogether. Silly I know. I can see what you mean about thoughts wanting something other than what is but can't understand why.

Lovely. So how does thought creat an illusion if they can't think? Are they doing it on purpose? What minds the thought?

I sometimes think they are doing it on purpose lol. So thoughts can't create an illusion can they? They just come and go. I'm really trying hard to 'see' Sarah, but I don't know what 'minds the thought'. I just go full circle into 'thought minds the thought' and that doesn't make sense. If I stay in the present moment (fingers typing/eyes tired/fridge buzzing etc) then there are no 'stories' and peace reigns.

I feel like smashing through that damn gate!

Sorry for that rant.
Love to you Sarah
Jackie
x

[Sarah7]

Mornin Jackie
You: I think I'm wanting thoughts to stop creating so much distress in my life by becoming quieter. I sometimes wish they would stop altogether. Silly I know. I can see what you mean about thoughts wanting something other than what is but can't understand why.

Me: Do thoughts just happen? Just like breathing? Including the thought that says 'this isn't it'?

I want you to watch and notice. How many times a day does thought say 'this isn't it'?
Did you bring any of those thoughts?

You: I sometimes think they are doing it on purpose lol. So thoughts can't create an illusion can they? They just come and go. I'm really trying hard to 'see' Sarah, but I don't know what 'minds the thought'. I just go full circle into 'thought minds the thought' and that doesn't make sense. If I stay in the present moment (fingers typing/eyes tired/fridge buzzing etc) then there are no 'stories' and peace reigns.

Do you experience thoughts thinking on purpose or thoughts creating illusion? Or is that yet another thought? Is 'I'm trying really hard to see' yet another version of 'this isn't it'?
Can you see anything other than thought commenting on thought?
When are you not in the present moment?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Dangermouse]

Hi again Sarah, you're very patient with me.

Do thoughts just happen? Just like breathing? Including the thought that says 'this isn't it'?

Yes. A thought just arises followed by another when that one's gone. It's like a story of my life in my head. I feel that they just flow without my control and I can't stop them. But I don't want to control them just allow them to happen without the 'me' that claims them if that makes sense.

I want you to watch and notice. How many times a day does thought say 'this isn't it'?
Did you bring any of those thoughts?

At the moment, 'this isn't it' seems to come to mind regularly more like an underlying theme. I don't bring these thoughts just notice them when they're there. They don't come as a surprise though.

Do you experience thoughts thinking on purpose or thoughts creating illusion? Or is that yet another thought? Is 'I'm trying really hard to see' yet another version of 'this isn't it'?
Can you see anything other than thought commenting on thought?
When are you not in the present moment?

I don't experience the thoughts thinking on purpose. I'm beginning to feel like a movie screen receiving images and words. Thoughts are just words flowing through creating the 'story of me'. 'I'm trying really hard to see' is indeed 'this isn't it'. And it's just another ***** thought! Thought comments on thought, comments on thought. That's where I am when I'm not in the present moment – listening to them and keeping busy with them (what happened yesterday/what will happen tomorrow). I'm not doing this! They just 'are'. Wow Sarah, there doesn't seem to be a 'me' doing any of this.

I think I'm rambling a bit..

Love and appreciation
Jackie
x

[Sarah7]

Hi Jackie
You: Yes. A thought just arises followed by another when that one's gone. It's like a story of my life in my head. I feel that they just flow without my control and I can't stop them. But I don't want to control them just allow them to happen without the 'me' that claims them if that makes sense.

Me: Do you see the thought 'I can control' or 'I don't want to control them'? Test this! Can you?
What do you control. Give me an example?

You: I don't experience the thoughts thinking on purpose. I'm beginning to feel like a movie screen receiving images and words. Thoughts are just words flowing through creating the 'story of me'.

Me: nice analogy with the movie screen. Just notice.

You: 'I'm trying really hard to see' is indeed 'this isn't it'. And it's just another ***** thought! Thought comments on thought, comments on thought. That's where I am when I'm not in the present moment – listening to them and keeping busy with them (what happened yesterday/what will happen tomorrow). I'm not doing this! They just 'are'. Wow Sarah, there doesn't seem to be a 'me' doing any of this.

Me: are thoughts the enemy? If so see that story and have a good laugh! A thought thinks another thought is the enemy! Lol.

Ah but you see you are in the present moment! How can you be elsewhere! Its just another this isn't it moment, because 'you' aren't where you want to be. Notice attention. Does it move like everything else? Like thought, like emotion, like feeling? Which wave doesn't belong in the ocean Jackie?

You: I'm not doing this! They just 'are'. Wow Sarah, there doesn't seem to be a 'me' doing any of this.

Me: test this! Be sure!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Dangermouse]

Hi Sarah, thanks for listening,

Do you see the thought 'I can control' or 'I don't want to control them'? Test this! Can you?
What do you control. Give me an example?

I can't control anything – thoughts or experience. They just are but they seem so personal like I should be controlling them. Before now I would have said 'I control my actions, but I ruddy well don't! They flow as thought does – just life flowing. Am I making sense here?

nice analogy with the movie screen. Just notice.

I think my brain is wired to notice everything (mostly the things I don't like or want). I am beginning to let go of the 'trying to control everything' though. And what difference does it make anyway? Life is life and will work without me.

are thoughts the enemy? If so see that story and have a good laugh! A thought thinks another thought is the enemy! Lol.

I did laugh at that one Sarah. The whole thing just seems ridiculous. Oh look! My thoughts are fighting! lol

Ah but you see you are in the present moment! How can you be elsewhere! Its just another this isn't it moment, because 'you' aren't where you want to be. Notice attention. Does it move like everything else? Like thought, like emotion, like feeling? Which wave doesn't belong in the ocean Jackie?

Attention seems erratic. It seems to just grab a thought and keeps going back to it. I guess it doesn't flow like the rest.

test this! Be sure!

I think I'm going to have to keep testing Sarah. Sometimes I feel sure but haven't been living it naturally yet. Just when I 'think' about it lol. I know, just know I'm not creating thoughts or experience but keep lapsing into 'me' again.

Love
Jackie
x

[Sarah7]

Hey

I think my brain is wired to notice everything (mostly the things I don't like or want). I am beginning to let go of the 'trying to control everything' though. And what difference does it make anyway? Life is life and will work without me.

Give me an example of something you believe you control. Doesn't matter how silly.

I did laugh at that one Sarah. The whole thing just seems ridiculous. Oh look! My thoughts are fighting! lol

So when 'they seem so personal' look at that too! What are they doing or saying that's so different from 'this isn't it'? Don't forget the smile or laugh!

Attention seems erratic. It seems to just grab a thought and keeps going back to it. I guess it doesn't flow like the rest.

Well for how ever many years you have been around - thought has been the first point of call. Its like peeling onions Jackie - one layer at a time. And is 'it doesn't flow like the rest' a belief or thought creating story?

I think I'm going to have to keep testing Sarah. Sometimes I feel sure but haven't been living it naturally yet. Just when I 'think' about it lol. I know, just know I'm not creating thoughts or experience but keep lapsing into 'me' again.

Please do. Any time control is thought to be there - what is it that tells you control is there?
What does not living it naturally mean?
Who is there to control lapsing into or not?
Do you do art Jackie? Or create in anyway? Like music or walking? A time when 'I' is not so obvious?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Dangermouse]

Hi,

Give me an example of something you believe you control. Doesn't matter how silly.

I believe I can control my actions, I choose to go for a walk, I choose to go to work etc..

So when 'they seem so personal' look at that too! What are they doing or saying that's so different from 'this isn't it'? Don't forget the smile or laugh!

It's a mind trick! 'I' am a thought and so are they. 'I' seems to be trying very hard to hang on to 'me'.
The uncomfortable thoughts influence a lot more than the nice ones so they're doing their job aren't they?

Well for how ever many years you have been around - thought has been the first point of call. Its like peeling onions Jackie - one layer at a time. And is 'it doesn't flow like the rest' a belief or thought creating story?

Doesn't feel like a belief, definitely more of a story being created. Hope this onion doesn't have too many layers lol.

Please do. Any time control is thought to be there - what is it that tells you control is there?
What does not living it naturally mean?
Who is there to control lapsing into or not?
Do you do art Jackie? Or create in anyway? Like music or walking? A time when 'I' is not so obvious?

It's thoughts again isn't it?
just meant although I 'understand' I can't 'see' yet.
Nothing but thought Sarah.
I do lots of long walks in the countryside around me Sarah, when I see sunrises and nature and just want to stay in that experience forever. As for art – painting by numbers maybe, I'm that good lol.

Love Jackie
x

[Dangermouse]

Sarah! Wow I 'get' it! I've been thinking instead of looking. I am laughing so much. It's just flowing - everything just flowing. Just happening and my silly story is just too hard to maintain. It's gone. This is just a human body typing. This is all 'I 'am. Don't understand why it feels so wonderful if there's no 'me' to feel wonderful but this is just the beginning of Life-ing. xxxx

[Sarah7]

Hey Jackie

I believe I can control my actions, I choose to go for a walk, I choose to go to work etc..

Tap with two or three fingers on the leg. Tap, tap, tap. Then, hold the fingers poised ready to tap. Just waiting in the air for a command to tap.
Looking at the fingers in the air, it’s not quite known when they will tap. In fact, the thought “tap now” can quite happily show up and yet the fingers remain in the air.
See if you can notice the moment when the command is issued and from whence it comes SUCH THAT the fingers simply have to obey. Notice if other commands to tap can be issued which have no affect on the fingers, leaving them remaining in the air.
Is it true that in direct experience there is no command that can be issued to make the fingers tap?
What causes the finger to tap? Anything? See what can be discovered in experience rather than thought.

It's a mind trick! 'I' am a thought and so are they. 'I' seems to be trying very hard to hang on to 'me'. The uncomfortable thoughts influence a lot more than the nice ones so they're doing their job aren't they?

Nice, uncomfortable, influence…. See the labels. Strip those labels down – pick them apart – what are they made up of? Thoughts creating a story?

I can't 'see' yet.

See? What do you expect to see? Is that another thought sending you out of now? A this isn’t it thought????? :)

Wow I 'get' it! I've been thinking instead of looking. I am laughing so much. It's just flowing - everything just flowing. Just happening and my silly story is just too hard to maintain. It's gone. This is just a human body typing. This is all 'I 'am. Don't understand why it feels so wonderful if there's no 'me' to feel wonderful but this is just the beginning of Life-ing

And what is identification happens again?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Dangermouse]

Hi
Must admit I hadn't thought I could 'unsee'. If identification starts again I can see it for what it is. Maybe retrace my steps?

Love
Jackie
X
Tried tapping the leg Sarah and you're absolutely right. I didn't tap my leg when I told myself to. I actually tapped again before the thought came.x

[Sarah7]

Hey

I choose to go for a walk, I choose to go to work etc..

OK - next time a decision comes up - watch the process like a cat watches a mouse hole. Maybe chose something that happens a lot - like choosing food. What do you notice?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Dangermouse]

Hi

OK - next time a decision comes up - watch the process like a cat watches a mouse hole. Maybe chose something that happens a lot - like choosing food. What do you notice?

It was a bit strange Sarah. Thought processes going on regarding food but no real interest in the outcome. It nearly felt like someone else was doing it. Chores I normally dislike too. They needed doing so this person did them without a whinge.

I was probably a bit hasty with my 'seeing ' but there has definately been a shift in my awareness. I'm looking forward to exploring this further.

Love and thanks
Jackie x

[Sarah7]

Hey Jackie
Keep watching.
Notice what thoughts say and when. Notice what doing is happening whilst thought is chattering away.
Hugs Sarah xxx