After many books/talks, I feel an approaching, elveloping se

[SueYen]

Hello Kevin,
thanks for replying.

Its like I know in advance that I am going to stop the thought and it just cuts off (because I have know I am going to stop it - I'm able to cut it off). I tell myself that I am going to have a thought and then cut it off - so I do.

During a particular thought, and when you decide to change that thought, detail for me the exact choice point, the very second with which that thought is forced to change, or when another is supposedly created to replace it.
Do this a few times and see if there really is a choice point.

1. I cant find it because it has already happened (back when I first read the instruction) so I cant find it now.
2. It seems to exist (as an intent) when I decide (in advance) to cut off or change the thought.
3. When I search for the the immediate second that I carry out the command... the changes seem to come through me rather than from me???
4. It's ephemeral, mist-like - only existing for the briefest of moments then gone...not there any more.
5.I find myself questioning if it is already known and decided by ??? (other) and therefore unchangeable? (does this mean there is no true free will and we are only choosing from limited presented options? - Which seems true in any case visa vi what we are aware of/notice/beliefs in any given moment even if we think we are in control or have options..

Questions: Is this just channeling - with a choice afterwards? Is the so-called 'me' just a conduit?
Are we given free choice after the event/presentations of one or more options outside of our 'control'?
Is so-called 'personal/individual' growth the choosing between limited/preordained presented options?
How does this 'other' know what to send/what I (apparently in 'it's' opinion) need/require in this very moment?
To what extent do we 'lie down' and give over to 'Thy (???) will be done' ethos? As in, this is happening through the so-called 'me' and the so-called 'I' steps in where? Where are the lines between apathy/intention/trust (if you have no or limited control)?

Wow Kevin, it seems to uncover more questions than it answers.... Eeek! Feels kinda groovy, weird (ephemeral) and interesting though! Hmmmm........

[KevinD]

Hi Susan,
Apologies, a work firewall is preventing me from accessing the site.
I'll try this from my phone.
I won't address your questions, as doing so won't bring you any further.
I will continue to point, and you observe.

Try this exercise:

Still your mind, meditate if you can.
A thought will arise.
Who or what -- if anything-- created that thought?
If it was you, tell me exactly when that decision was made.
What was the formula in the creation of that thought?
As this inquiry is occurring, what happened to that original thought?
Why, and how?

Continue examining this, both in meditation and waking state, and determine exactly how thoughts arise.

Thanks,
Kevin