If you are ready, come in..

[Ilona]

Ok, then stop looking at beliefs and turn your face to the truth for the love of truth.

What is true 100%?
What is it that you know for sure?

[MerlinC]

I know for certain that beliefs are not true and truth is real and largely taken for granted by the majority of people today. And people for the most part fear the truth so its not very popular. believing in beliefs can run a persons life and change that persons course to places they dont want to be at. As for myself I dont feel I understand how to follow a belief untell it falls away. I get lost because I have so many of them it becomes confusing as to what thoughts are beliefs or correct knowledge.

[Ilona]

Ok, once you turn attention from mind to senses and feelings, once you look for what is here now rather that what you think about it, all starts making sense.

Once again- what is it you know for sure, answer precisely, please take your time.

[MerlinC]

I know for certain that I dont know a whole bunch of anything. Im here, I want to be some where else because Im unhappy with my living conditions. Im unhappy on just about all levels. so I want to be happy. I know the world is what you make of it but I dont know what to make of it other then its a very painfull place.

[Ilona]

Thank you for honest answer.

As I understand you are here, investigating, as means to fix your situation. Seeing through illusion does not fix anything. It is not a happy ever after, it simply becomes clear, that there there is no control over what happens as there is no controller.

You want to be happy and escape what is. Take a very good look at the present moment right now. What is missing? What is wrong with this here now? What should be different.

Notice- there is body, breathing, raw sensations + commentary in the mind that tells the story about what may or may not happen. Focus on the present, don't get into the story, just see what IS. Reality is much kinder than thoughts about reality. Can you see that?

Describe what is going on right now. Not what you think that's going on, but what you see, with eyes, senses..

[MerlinC]

everything is still. I can just be and its ok for me to do so. my mind is trying to find an answer to what is but thier couldnt be one. the now gos on without saying anything at all about it. it just works, very simple and peacefull. I cant see how there couldnt be control like if I dont eat I die but that would be up to me if I wanted to do that or not. I see things happen without my control like weather or daily circumstances. which is a huge uncontrollable thing but my control lies in choices.

[Ilona]

Control lies in choices? ok, is there fee will?

Let's try a little experiment
Lift your left arm above the head, now.

How did it work? What was it that made the arm lift?
Look at the choice as it's happening.
First the choice happens and then the conscious decision happens, then thoughts come and I claim the choosing.

Is this true?
If not, describe precisely how it works.
What Determines choice?

Sending love.

[MerlinC]

so I'm assuming control over my actions. how am I to live in the world without conscious decision over my actions?. this clarity you speak of must be some kind of inner peace, that's all I want because if I had that then the world could be a mess which it always is but Id have peace what more could I ask for? the illusion is my problem.

[Ilona]

try to answer my questions one by one precisely. focus..

[MerlinC]

yes after lifting my arm I take full claim of doing so because I relate my body also with the I or me. my arm lefts but I have no understanding of it after deciding to do so. its really like hearing and claiming I do that but its completly out of my hands. choice is reacting to a situation and deciding on possible outcomes thats the most favorable for what you want to achieve. but life is highly unpredictability and renders the idea of control useless. thats why wars are won most often by uncountable facters such as weather. but if I decide Im not going to work today isn't that control? or is control just an empty word that points to untruth ?

[Ilona]

Ok, good question.
Decide not to work today. Just do so. See what happens. Describe what comes up.

Cause and effect- true or fairytale?

[MerlinC]

My decisions are based in fear I feel I must go to work not because I want to because I have to. If I had it my way it wouldn't be like that and if I had control I would have changed it along time ago. cause and effect are true. but wouldn't us being the cause in life to effect life come with some inharient power called choice? the world can change with a choice.

[Ilona]

Aha, if you had control. Do you have control?

Can world change bacause you choose it to change?
Choice happens, but is it your choice? Fear stops you from taking a day off. Did you choose that?
Look deeper here.

[MerlinC]

Do I have choice? yes I do. does it mean the world will change if I make one? it could but most likely it will effect me and the people around me. not to say my decision will even have an a effect. so no their is no control. if I didnt have the fear of losing comfort I wouldn't work. I wouldn't have to unless I wanted to.

[Ilona]

ok, i do not get it. there is no control, but you have a choice. which one is it?