Curiosity

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Tim.

Have you grokked this ? (that here and now THIS is all there is.)
i think so.

Grokking is more than a mental exercise ("i think so")
Has there been a 'shift', an Aha! triggered by seeing that THIS is IT ! ?

(Mindfulness in Schools is catching on)
Yes, my youngest did this at nursery.

Excellent - she will (probably) have a better life because of it. (my story) It should be mandatory in every school in the world. (An opinion - another story)

This is reporting of learning through experience.

This is a deduction. Can you reduce the concept of learning down into actual experiencing ?

It seems that time describes the process/experience.

Would it be more accurate to say that the concept of time becomes useful when comparing memories of experiences and applying the concept of a trend with a particular 'flavor' ?

if i listen for it and it is not there, i know it isn't. (my tinnitus)

What about when you don't listen for it ? When you are not thinking of it, does it exist ?

Good feelings to you.

love

vince

[Dsydnll]

Hi vince, apologies but i won't be able to respond properly today. All the best, love tim

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[Dsydnll]

Hi vince,

Please excuse the longwinded response, it feels right to clarify a few things.

There is awareness that my previous posts may have implied that this process was not being taken seriously and that the lack of precision in the words posted gave the impression of not caring. This is far from the case, simply exuberance (ha- at 43)

As someone who has experienced tremendous anxiety and overthinking, the sense of mindfulness obtained through looking during this process have been amazing. This has possibly led to confusion, and diversion from what is being looked for. It was only after i posted that i remembered you saying that this (awakening) is not a state.

Right or wrong, i sensed some frustration in your post and so yesterday i looked 'harder' than i had looked before for this illusive self. There was a defniite shift of sorts- a sense of detachment/dislocation was felt with the recognition that 'I' do not exist (at least in the way i thought i did). This led to fears and anxiety about whether i was deluding myself, was this right, was i wishing myself away, thoughts came to mind about psychological disorders associated with a distorted 'self'. These thoughts led to to some anxiety, doubt and fear but i had to go to work so i took a pill and got on with the day. There were also thoughts about whether this was just another temporary state. Thoughts seemed further away again yesterday and i noticed some slipping of words and forgetfulness when communicating with clients.

Today i woke up still feeling somewhat detached but less anxious. I did some more looking (trying to get to the grokking of THIS is IT), though there was uncertainty about what you meant (how could there be anything else). Anyway, as i walked to the kitchen with my head partly watching my feet and the floor, a question came to mind- what is the difference between my foot and the floor? i could see that both were the same experience and a lot of the sense of separation that had previously felt dissolved. There was the grokking that Tim is also the experience- in a sense i was observing Tim in the same way that i was observing the dining room chair. There was also the sense that i am Tim and i am also the greater experience (ALL that IS) that includes Tim depending on the perspective. The lines between self and other have been blurred though haven't disappeared completely.

There have been many Aha moments along this journey so there is still some doubt about the validity of this experience but (right or wrong) this experience is what is currently being revealed.

THIS is IT? There is only experience with no separation between perceiver and perceived (including some doubt which is also being experienced).

This is a deduction. Can you reduce the concept of learning down into actual experiencing ?

1) There is awareness that an event triggers a thought 2) There is awareness of the dissatisfaction of this automatic thought response (judgment based on appearance) (more thoughts) 3) There is awareness of the intent to change this response (more thoughts). 4) There is awareness of something happening to change this response (a sort of if/when command) (more thoughts). 5) There is the experience of this (command) happening. One thought (don't judge) is inserted into the space between the triggering event and previous automatic thought response.

It seems that time describes the process/experience.
Would it be more accurate to say that the concept of time becomes useful when comparing memories of experiences and applying the concept of a trend with a particular 'flavor' ?

To be honest, i don't know about this. Time (concept) also seems useful for planning- There is a client to meet at 5pm or i need to pick up my kids at the weekend. Not sure this has been grokked.

What about when you don't listen for it ? When you are not thinking of it, does it exist ?

I suppose this is similar to the sound/no sound of the tree falling in the woods when no one is listening. There is hesitancy in saying that it doesn't exist because how would it be known? The sound isn't being experienced when i am not listening to it but it seems impossible to know for sure. Wait- if sound requires both perceiver and perceived then it doesn't exist. The sound does not exist if if it is not being heard.

Thank you for your continued patience.

love

tim

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Tim,

Please excuse the longwinded response,

Is that another way of saying sorry ? (grin)

the longwinded response, it feels right to clarify a few things.

Longwinded is fine. Clarification is even better.

my previous posts may have implied that this process was not being taken seriously and that the lack of precision in the words posted gave the impression of not caring.

Oh. i didn't get any of that impression.

simply exuberance (ha- at 43)

Great. i love it. i have a story that you are committed to this examination.

Right or wrong, i sensed some frustration in your post

No, not frustrated. (from memory) i think that i was just very tired last night - so possibly a bit short.
This does bring us to a very pertinent point(ing) though. ..and that is, does vince exist for the organism with the label Tim, as anything more than a story that is compiled through the filter of experience, of deciphering squiggles on a screen ? (shitty grammar - but you get what i mean)

There were also thoughts about whether this was just another temporary state.

All states are temporary. (impermanence)

so there is still some doubt about the validity of this experience

Ah, doubts. i remember them well (now that you mention them) Here is a flashback to the first couple of months of my awakening. Read from the bottom post, upward for a chronological sequence. http://vince-wisingup.blogspot.com.au/search?q=doubts

There was a definite shift of sorts- a sense of detachment/dislocation was felt with the recognition that 'I' do not exist

Excellent, by now it is probably a memory. Does that mean that it was invalid ?

trying to get to the grokking of THIS is IT

Ha, that will only happen when you aren't "trying". ..but when trying happens, mountains may move.

The lines between self and other have been blurred though haven't disappeared completely.

When these lines are completely gone, will Tim be others, and others Tim ?

this experience is what is currently being revealed.

Yes, and is there anything other than this ?

There is only experience with no separation between perceiver and perceived (including some doubt which is also being experienced)

Beautiful.
So explain this. How can there be experiencing, without an experiencer, experiencing the experienced ?

Can you reduce the concept of learning down into actual experiencing ?
1) There is awareness that an event triggers a thought 2) There is awareness of the dissatisfaction of this automatic thought response (judgment based on appearance) (more thoughts) 3) There is awareness of the intent to change this response (more thoughts). 4) There is awareness of something happening to change this response (a sort of if/when command) (more thoughts). 5) There is the experience of this (command) happening. One thought (don't judge) is inserted into the space between the triggering event and previous automatic thought response.

Yes, ok, there is the experiencing of lots of thinking here. Does this lead to new experiences ?

Time (concept) also seems useful for planning

Hmm, it seems clear that it is a concept, that has usefulness.
What about the other side of the usefulness coin. When you are in a panic with the thought that you are running out of time ? Can you see how the misuse of this concept can be destructive ?

The sound does not exist if if it is not being heard.

Does anything exist (for Tim) if it is not being experienced ?

love (and some excitement)

vince

[Dsydnll]

Hi vince,

Thank you for your enlightened response (i will share more later). i have been working on my response but have a busy day and have run out of time. i will respond properly instead tomorrow.

love, tim

[Dsydnll]

Hi vince,

Is that another way of saying sorry ? (grin)

Ha!

Oh. i didn't get any of that impression.

Oh good, i'm happy.

Great. i love it. i have a story that you are committed to this examination.

This is very true (if there is such a thing as very true).

This does bring us to a very pertinent point(ing) though. ..and that is, does vince exist for the organism with the label Tim, as anything more than a story that is compiled through the filter of experience, of deciphering squiggles on a screen ? (shitty grammar - but you get what i mean)

In this experience, there are squiggles which are labelled letters and words and are interpreted as communication from a being named vince. tim's story of vince is experienced by tim as thoughts and there is nothing else. In the greater scheme thoughts say perhaps two intertwining stories (and many more depending on who reads these posts).

All states are temporary. (impermanence)

Thank you for the reminder, it was needed.

Here is a flashback to the first couple of months of my awakening.

Thank you for sharing... There seems to be a much wiser vince now...How is experience for vince now? How has vince changed?

Excellent, by now it is probably a memory. Does that mean that it was invalid ?

Gosh, this simple line of text had enormous impact, it's as if tim was given a big hug and told that everything is ok. i didn't realise how much crap i had bottled up. This brought many tears and many realisations about the suffering of tim, the last time i shed tears was a few years ago during age regression. Thank you for this perfectly timed clarification... No it does not mean it was invalid. This perfectly timed, enlightened response raises a question... i remember reading Ilona talking about a direct channel between her and a seeker and another time saying that magic is real. Is the awakened vince aware of such experiences? The reason i ask is that events such as synchroniciies seem to be ignored on the LU forum.

Ha, that will only happen when you aren't "trying". ..but when trying happens, mountains may move.

i guess trying will continue until it doesn't.

When these lines are completely gone, will Tim be others, and others Tim ?

No, tim will be seen as an illusion and so will others.

this experience is what is currently being revealed.
Yes, and is there anything other than this ?

No.

So explain this. How can there be experiencing, without an experiencer, experiencing the experienced ?

Everything just happens. It could be said that the experiencer is also the experienced, that all is experience.

Yes, ok, there is the experiencing of lots of thinking here. Does this lead to new experiences ?

Every thought is a new experience. The thoughts simply narrated the process which led to new experience (one reaction being replaced with another).

Hmm, it seems clear that it is a concept, that has usefulness.
What about the other side of the usefulness coin. When you are in a panic with the thought that you are running out of time ? Can you see how the misuse of this concept can be destructive ?

Yes indeed, fear of aging, fear of death. It is not yet seen how in the modern day one can function properly at work etc without using the concept of time (although it would be wonderful). Perhaps you can shed some light?

Does anything exist (for Tim) if it is not being experienced ?

Wow this is a big one... Nothing exists (for tim) outside of his actual experience (only the experience of thoughts that say differently).

Thank you as always.

love

tim

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Tim.

How is experience for vince now? How has vince changed?

The intense, obsessive seeking has been replace by a relaxed openness to whatever appears.
Having said this, frustration still occurs occasionally, but is usually seen to be happening pretty quickly, which has the effect of dissolving it.
Got a police infringement ticket a couple of days ago, which i thought (at the time) was unjust and unfair. i was holding my phone and adjusting a gps app, when a cop saw me. Cost me $320 and a couple of points. The frustration/anger stayed for half an hour or so, which is the longest since i can remember.
Before awakening, that would be a daily occurrence.

Is the awakened vince aware of such experiences? The reason i ask is that events such as synchroniciies seem to be ignored on the LU forum.

Haha, i have heard that magic is science that isn't proven yet. i don't know. Certainly what could be called magic and synchronicity are frequent these days. i'm not inclined to label them, but if pressed, will describe them as emerging from the Great Mystery. No need to categorize them.
i suspect that without fear eliciting stories dominating, we are more aware of these events. They are there for all, but pass by unnoticed by most people.

No, tim will be seen as an illusion and so will others.

Define illusion.

Tim, is there anything that you would like to explore, that we haven't covered ? ..or that you would like to explore more deeply ?

love

vince

[Dsydnll]

Hi vince,

The intense, obsessive seeking has been replace by a relaxed openness to whatever appears.

Thank you for sharing.

Certainly what could be called magic and synchronicity are frequent these days.

That's good to know. i too notice many synchronicities in times of increased awareness, they make me smile.

Define illusion.

i didn't really answer precisely, rather typed what came to mind. Once the veil of separation is removed, self and other will be seen as one. Seeing through the illusion of separate individuals will enable the welcoming of all as friends. 'Love thy neighbour as thyself' comes to mind.

Tim, is there anything that you would like to explore, that we haven't covered ? ..or that you would like to explore more deeply ?

Yes please. i have seen through the illusion of self at least in glimpses but there doesn't seem (yet) to be a permanent shift. In fact this awakening business seems to be quite illusive. i see and then i forget and slip back into the same old behaviour. i read on your blog a post by Joan Tollifson about caterpillars and butterflies and this further confused me. i think part of the reason is that i don't really know what to expect Before LU, the only knowledge i have of enlightenment are vague memories of books read and much talking in riddles. i have not been a long term seeker of 'enlightenment' and so i'm not even sure i would even know if i was awakened. i have however, always been quite philosophical about life and believed that even in times of extreme difficulty, everything happens for a reason.

So i would like to explore expectations if possible? How will it be known?

Also, there is still the sense that i am in control, even though i know that there is no 'self'. i remember coming to the conclusion when conversing with Jon that it doesn't matter either way because whether there is or isn't free will, the end result will be exactly the same. This has stuck with me and possibly prevented acceptance. Also, thoughts (doubts) often come to mind that of course many actions are unconscious and automatic, we couldn't function if we had to think about every single thing we did.

i would like to further explore free will please.

Just in case you think we are going in circles- we probably are. i can be quite forgetful.

Thank you vince as always.

love

tim

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Tim,

So i would like to explore expectations

Yes, good one.

Once the veil of separation is removed, self and other will be seen as one.

Is this an expectation ?

Seeing through the illusion of separate individuals will enable the welcoming of all as friends.

Can you see the inherent contradiction in this statement ? (even though i know what you mean) ..and is it another expectation ?

there doesn't seem (yet) to be a permanent shift.

..and another ?

this awakening business seems to be quite illusive.

..and another (it is not so obvious in this one) Can you see where the expectation is in it ?

i don't really know what to expect

But as you can see from above, that you do have considerable, defined expectations. Can you see that ? (don't try and explain the paradox')

the only knowledge i have of enlightenment are vague memories of books read and much talking in riddles.

Do you think that this is where the expectations originated ?
Do you think that a desire to believe in 'magic', may have been a thread through the construction of the story of what Enlightenment is ?

so i'm not even sure i would even know if i was awakened.

So how do you know that you are not ?

everything happens for a reason.

Do you still believe this ?

How will it be known?

What is "knowing" ?
As you explore this, state how it is different to a belief. (if it is seen to be different)

possibly prevented acceptance.

How does "acceptance" fit in with beliefs and knowing ?

of course many actions are unconscious and automatic, we couldn't function if we had to think about every single thing we did.

Yes, agreed.
How do those unconscious and automatic actions get there ? (why them and not different ones ?)

i would like to further explore free will please.

Good.
Start with defining what "free will" is.
Include an example from your experience in this.

Just in case you think we are going in circles

It might be helpful to think of them as spirals.

i can be quite forgetful.

If you need to remember anything with this stuff, then it is only knowledge. Intellectual stuff. What we are after is grokking. There is some knowing, that is rooted in experience.

Can caterpillar
imagine butterfly-ing ?

Does the butterfly
remember being a grub ?

Look up 'Stream entry' and the first three fetters. Here;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sot%C4%81panna Don't get carried away with the Buddhist stuff.

love

vince

[Dsydnll]

Hi vince, thank you for your further pointing. i will respond tomorrow. Have a great weekend. Love tim

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[Dsydnll]

Hi vince

Once the veil of separation is removed, self and other will be seen as one.
Is this an expectation ?

Yes, it is expected that life will be seen (at least more so) as one fluid movement.

Seeing through the illusion of separate individuals will enable the welcoming of all as friends.
Can you see the inherent contradiction in this statement ? (even though i know what you mean) ..and is it another expectation ?

Yes i can see the contradiction. i have read that individuality will be retained within the greater perspective so yes it an expectation.

there doesn't seem (yet) to be a permanent shift.
..and another ?

Yes this is an expectation. i remember you pointing towards a shift.

this awakening business seems to be quite illusive.
..and another (it is not so obvious in this one) Can you see where the expectation is in it ?

Yes awakeing itself is an expectation, though it is hard to avoid based on this forum- it seems to be the whole purpose.

But as you can see from above, that you do have considerable, defined expectations. Can you see that ? (don't try and explain the paradox')

Yes it feels as though i am clutching at straws.

the only knowledge i have of enlightenment are vague memories of books read and much talking in riddles.
Do you think that this is where the expectations originated ?

Yes, all expectations no matter how vague, are based on what has been read and a mind trying to make sense of it all.

Do you think that a desire to believe in 'magic', may have been a thread through the construction of the story of what Enlightenment is ?

Not particularly. Throughout this life there have been many experiences that seem to be beyond what is taught to be rational, including an experience of bliss when much younger (before the taking of any substances). Of course there are thoughts that arise that wonder how will experience change but there is no driving desire for magic. If anything, magic is not a word that feels comfortable. There is however a desire for spiritual experience and wisdom.

so i'm not even sure i would even know if i was awakened.
So how do you know that you are not ?

i don't- i could be but how would i know? i have read many other threads and i feel there is the same knowing here.

everything happens for a reason.
Do you still believe this ?

Looking back (from memory), there seems to be some method in the madness.

What is "knowing" ?
As you explore this, state how it is different to a belief. (if it is seen to be different)

Knowing is beyond belief, it is an unquestionable truth. Belief is a thought process that is repeated often and accepted as a perspective. Saying that, it is impossible to ever know anything for sure.

How does "acceptance" fit in with beliefs and knowing ?

Acceptance of a belief is when a decision has been made to no longer question through thought processes. If nothing can ever be truly known, then acceptance is when what appears to be true is no longer questioned.

How do those unconscious and automatic actions get there ? (why them and not different ones ?)

Some are born into us (bodily processes) and others are conscious processes that have been repeated enough to no longer require conscious thought (riding a bike etc).

i will post this now in case i miss you, and will continue.

Thank you as always,

love

tim

[Dsydnll]

...continued

Start with defining what "free will" is.
Include an example from your experience in this.

Free will is the ability to determine action.

i sit here at my pc as thoughts narrate possibilities. Shall i have a coffee, shall i clean the house etc. It appears that this organism chooses from infinite possibilities. Thoughts say go and make a coffee but i sit here looking at the process. It appears that the decision has already been made (thoughts say so) and it is just a question of when movement towards the kitchen begins. i sit here slightly blank as i observe that action doesn't begin. The body gets up and moves to the kitchen and it is observed that no thought was required during the process. A mental process begins and thoughts arise saying that if no self can be observed then who/what made the decision?

There are conflicting thought processes at work. One says that 'there is decision without a decider' and another says 'but it feels as if there is a decider'.

It might be helpful to think of them as spirals.

Here's hoping.

If you need to remember anything with this stuff, then it is only knowledge. Intellectual stuff. What we are after is grokking. There is some knowing, that is rooted in experience.

Understood but it seems the content of experience can also be forgot. When 'looking' there seems to be oneness and when not there appears to be separation (though less so than before). Sometimes it feels like coming down off LSD (if you know what i mean?). There appears to be an expansion or contraction in awareness. Does this make sense?

Can caterpillar
imagine butterfly-ing ?

Caterpillar can imagine but imagination is no substitute for experience.

Does the butterfly
remember being a grub ?

Yes.

Look up 'Stream entry' and the first three fetters.

i will try to be 100% honest.

Self-view - The view of self has changed and is seen as an illusory, no more worthy of consideration than any other thought. However, this organism still acts as is if dictated by a self. Thoughts are still self-referenced.

Clinging to rites and rituals - i don't think there is a problem here.

Skeptical doubt - There is doubt. Self-doubt (ha) - that this organism is worthy of or able to be liberated/awakened. Doubt based on intellectual understanding/misunderstanding etc. It says that 'Seeing removes doubt', There is doubt about whether what has been seen is what should be seen, whether one is looking correctly. There is doubt about doubts- understanding that doubts are just thoughts.

love

tim

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Tim,

Yes, all expectations no matter how vague, are based on what has been read and a mind trying to make sense of it all.

Do you think that these stories (expectations) take your focus away from the present and into the (fantasy of the) future ?

Yes it feels as though i am clutching at straws.

Hmm, is this desperation for some kind of achievement ? ..again, focussing on the future ?

Yes awakening itself is an expectation, though it is hard to avoid based on this forum- it seems to be the whole purpose.

Yes, that seems reasonable. What if this is the very reason that you can't see what is already the case ?
Nobody ever woke up in the future.

Yes, all expectations no matter how vague, are based on what has been read and a mind trying to make sense of it all.

So, expectations (stories) are followed up with thoughts attempting to explain (more stories) ?
Now, i'm not saying that this shouldn't happen. What value do you think that this circular mind stuff has ?

There is however a desire for spiritual experience and wisdom.

Is this desire seen as a looking to some achievement in the future ? Could this forward looking be obscuring what exists NOW ?

i have read many other threads and i feel there is the same knowing here.

Say more on this.

i could be but how would i know?

Give me a small commentary on 'If you were, but didn't know it'.

there seems to be some method in the madness.

Do you think that there is more to this, than mind attempting to make sense of it ?

Knowing is beyond belief, it is an unquestionable truth.

What is "an unquestionable truth" ?

then who/what made the decision?

Have you seen the documentary that the BBC Horizons made. Called The Secret You. (Here; https://www.dropbox.com/s/al2k2mya8jt4o ... u.mp4?dl=0) Check out the part where decisions are seen to be made some 6 seconds before they become conscious.

it seems the content of experience can also be forgot.

Yes, i have forgotten many experiences. Story is that they have been integral in present conditioning. Do i need to remember what has resulted in the present 'me' ?

Caterpillar can imagine

Ha, ok, bad questioning. Can a caterpillar know what it will be like to be a butterfly ?

Does the butterfly
remember being a grub ?

Just a few years later, i can not really remember what it was like not to be awake.
Certainly, there are memories of certain things from then, but it is like that was another person. Somebody i read about.

There is doubt. Self-doubt (ha) - that this organism is worthy of or able to be liberated/awakened.

Can you see the ridiculous-ness of stories about "worthiness" and "ability" ?


love

vince

[Dsydnll]

Hi vince,

So i feel/believe/know there has been another shift which i will explain further below.

Do you think that these stories (expectations) take your focus away from the present and into the (fantasy of the) future ?

Yes.

Hmm, is this desperation for some kind of achievement ? ..again, focussing on the future ?

Yes, i was trying to achieve the goal of 'awakening'.

Yes, that seems reasonable. What if this is the very reason that you can't see what is already the case ?
Nobody ever woke up in the future.

Ha, i like it... very wise.

So, expectations (stories) are followed up with thoughts attempting to explain (more stories) ?
Now, i'm not saying that this shouldn't happen. What value do you think that this circular mind stuff has ?

None, it is deviation.

Is this desire seen as a looking to some achievement in the future ? Could this forward looking be obscuring what exists NOW ?

Yes, it appears so.

i have read many other threads and i feel there is the same knowing here.
Say more on this.

Instead, i will share my own wisdom.

Ok, so something happened again this morning. i was pretty much resigned to this being a long process but sort of knew what had to be done. Something was 'telling' me to starve the illusory self until it has no power to influence, this would be done by simply recognising and ignoring all thoughts that come from the perspective of self. All cravings and desires would also gradually be seen through as illusory and would diminish. i would rely on 'knowing' what to do instead of thinking about what had to be done.

Thoughts led to wondering how something that does not exist in any real sense can be awakened.

i sat and reminded myself that 'beyond thought, beyond sensation, there is only peace' (something that had become known many weeks ago). i paid attention to what remained after thought and sensation and had the realisation of something new- an awakening of the awareness within. Closer than inside, it seemed i was observing my true nature, the true nature of all things. Whereas before this had been witnessed as the whole, this time it was also 'felt' within. This true-nature/awareness/consciousness was known to be beyond concept, a sort of breeze that penetrated. There was the realisation that 'it was not me being awakened, it was a reconnection to the grace and awareness that already resided'. A waking up to the true nature of myself.

Despite my best efforts to cling to this experience, once again it passed and as i am beginning to understand more clearly this does not invalidate the experience.

Waking up to what already is (for me) appears to be a continuing process.

It seems that 'awakening' is the journey and awareness is the destination. In this sense, i am becoming increasingly aware.

Give me a small commentary on 'If you were, but didn't know it'.

Please see above... I am beginning to realise that 'awake' is being open to the awareness/consciousness that already resides within (and without). In this sense i am awake.

there seems to be some method in the madness.
Do you think that there is more to this, than mind attempting to make sense of it ?

There is mind attempting to make sense of it - but possibly more... An oak tree is born from an acorn, not from a chestnut.

What is "an unquestionable truth" ?

There is an inner knowing beyond thought and questions.

Have you seen the documentary that the BBC Horizons made...

i will watch this is in a while and get back to you as i am hoping to respond before you check your posts. i am however aware of such experiments- the fight or flight response experienced during anxiety for instance can be triggered by the fear circuit without conscious awareness (danger can be responded to unconsciously).

Yes, i have forgotten many experiences. Story is that they have been integral in present conditioning. Do i need to remember what has resulted in the present 'me' ?

No, i understand.

Ha, ok, bad questioning. Can a caterpillar know what it will be like to be a butterfly ?

Ha- no, it must be experienced, anything else is pure speculation.

Just a few years later, i can not really remember what it was like not to be awake.
Certainly, there are memories of certain things from then, but it is like that was another person. Somebody i read about.

Thank you for sharing.

Can you see the ridiculous-ness of stories about "worthiness" and "ability" ?

Yes, i was feeling quite sorry for myself at the time (hangover- i will learn).

love

tim

[vinceschubert]

something happened again this morning.

Ah, beautiful.

Waking up to what already is (for me) appears to be a continuing process.

..and for me too.
That is why i guide. It offers continual opportunity to examine what is taken for granted. (you might consider 'paying it forward' too, when the time comes ?)
i suspect that this is a never ending journey.. Wonder-Full !

It seems that 'awakening' is the journey and awareness is the destination.

Although i know what you mean, what arose here, is that there is no destination. Maybe aware-ing is the footwear ?

There is an inner knowing beyond thought and questions.

There is certainly a "beyond thought and questions", but language is inadequate to label it. Do you experience this ?

it was a reconnection to the grace and awareness that already resided'.

Ahh, yes.

A waking up to the true nature of myself.

Can you describe this ? Is it a state ? Is it a static "nature" ?

love love

vince