Nothing left to want

[Danute]

Kay, maybe you're saying that everything is in place... but that there are thoughts, "Danute is not yet peaceful, she doesn't get it yet, she cannot sustain the perspective she felt for a moment..." that are being experienced as though they were real, obscuring the peace that is already there underlying everything?
XOXO-D

[forgetmenot]

Hello Danute,

How can everything get checked constantly with AE? That sounds like the practice of presence. A practice of re-directing thought, or rather re-directing awareness. I know thought can't be redirected, but can awareness be practiced/enhanced to experience in a way that does not fail (at least 95% of the time) to recognize the content of thought as distinct from AE?

Yes, I know it sounds contradictory that there needs to be a practice, but that it just the way it is. Like anything when learning something new it has to be practiced until it becomes a habit and it starts to happen more or less automatically! BUT is there anything that is doing anything! LOOK! Find the person/individual that is doing anything!

As I said before, some days it seems we get caught up in the story and then a thought appears that says ‘look’ and other days the story is seen before we go down the rabbit hole with it. But it is still not happening to anyone.

Once again...check with AE what is it exactly that can or can't believe??

Ah, it's a only a thought that "I" can or can't "believe." Why didn't I notice that? "Some days the stories are seen through and other days they aren’t....?"

Exactly, and it’s not just a matter of seeing that it is only a thought, check to see if there is anything that can believe! That is the work - that is what needs to be done. That is checking with AE.

What is the AE of belief?
The label ‘belief’ is the AE of thought and not the AE of belief
The image labelled as ‘body/Danute’ is the AE of image not the AE of a separate individual
So what exactly is it that has a belief? Can you find anyone that can believe?

Life isn’t happening to anyone…how can it?

But why isn't the above statement imperturbably and permanently clear to me? You seem to have that nailed! The habit has been to focus on thought's content rather than to experience just the AE, whilst keeping the content clearly in view.

LOL, I am no different to you, Danute. I have to check with AE when life feels as if it is happening to me because I have re-identified with being a person! That doesn’t change! Well not for me it hasn’t, I can’t speak for others. I am just clear that I need to check with AE to get me back on the straight and narrow to see if there is an entity/person to whom it is happening to!

This is an expectation of yours....so be aware of it...what exactly is it that desires/needs this statement to be imperturbably and permanently clear?

Kay, maybe you're saying that everything is in place... but that there are thoughts, "Danute is not yet peaceful, she doesn't get it yet, she cannot sustain the perspective she felt for a moment..." that are being experienced as though they were real, obscuring the peace that is already there underlying everything?

What is Danute?
What is the AE of Danute?

But yes, they are only but thoughts….but what you are NOT doing is checking to see who all these things are happening to. That is what you need to be doing. Find exactly what is not yet peaceful, isn’t getting it, cannot sustain the perspective and so on.

Don’t look for suffering to end……find that what suffers! That is what this is all about!

Love Kay

[Danute]

Hello Kay,

Find what suffers

That I can do! I can be aware of suffering more than anything else! ;)

When I look for the "what or who" that suffers, the suffering and the sufferer both disappear (perhaps they were one) but the looking doesn't disappear. I can't really look and suffer at the same time, at least not easily, not if I am really looking. So, the looking and looker are now become one (nothing new, of course) and now, there is just looking, no suffering and no sufferer. There is just looking and no "I" or "I-ing" (being "I").

Okay, finally, there is a clear awareness of looking, and of the oneness of AE without object and subject, without observer and observed. There is an awareness of experience and nothing else. Got it! No Snoopy Dancing (no euphoria) but clear seeing that there can't possibly be an I when nothing exists except awareness.... I mean, even "sensation" has been created by thought and doesn't really exist. Even sensation is AE of thought, ultimately! That's a big start.

I will just keep doing this... looking for what suffers, what wants, what thinks... exactly what you've been asking me to do, but somehow something I couldn't see because I didn't know "how" to look. Got it now. It's simple but hard to explain! Direct experience describes it perfectly-now in retrospect! It was so hard to get out of the programmed paradigm through which I was trying to see.

"We got there!" Done! Thank you Kay!!!

No altered consciousness, but I can see that by looking deliberately at experience in this way, this perspective will eventually become the new homeostasis. I will update you for a few days, to report what else awareness notices!

Let me know if you have any more helpful questions that could check my "seeing" from different angles.

A HUGE thank you for your dedication to helping the searching, the frustrated, and the lost/confused! ;)))

LOVE,
Danute

Okay, Snoopy can dance. Yeah. <3 <3 <3

[forgetmenot]

Hey Danute,

I'm glad to see that you have found some clarity in that we are looking for the "I" that owns everything that happens.

So you are clear that thoughts (ALL THOUGHTS) that appear are AE of thought and what the thoughts are ABOUT are fiction?

When I look for the "what or who" that suffers, the suffering and the sufferer both disappear (perhaps they were one) but the looking doesn't disappear.

Does the label 'suffering' or story (thoughts) ABOUT suffering disappear?

There is an awareness of experience and nothing else.

Can you elaborate on this please.

There is an awareness of experience

What exactly is it that is "aware of experience".
Describe to me what this "awarer" looks like and where it is located.

Are you not also aware of the "awarer"?

No altered consciousness, but I can see that by looking deliberately at experience in this way, this perspective will eventually become the new homeostasis.

Can you tell me what "by looking deliberately at experience in this way" means?

I will update you for a few days, to report what else awareness notices!

Is this just a figure of speech? Or are we back to a split of 'awareness' and what is being 'awared'?

Can you answer the questions in blue please.

Love Kay

[Danute]

Hello Kay,

So you are clear that thoughts (ALL THOUGHTS) that appear are AE of thought and what the thoughts are ABOUT are fiction?

Yes, clear!

Does the label 'suffering' or story (thoughts) ABOUT suffering disappear?

I would say yes to your question above, but I don't recognize the experience of labels disappearing, but yes, that's what it is. I just see the idea of suffering or sufferer, and beliefs about suffering completely lose their reality and disappear just as easily as the AE of any of these thoughts spontaneously arose.

It's like a flow of AE coming into view, and then out of view, and then another AE -or a continuing stream of AE, none of it real, and none of it permanent. The only permanent, unchanging thing is the viewing, the awareness, the experiencing (but not the experience/experiencer, nor the view or the viewer, nor the content of the thoughts/beliefs... these are all "one" with the experiencing.)

This clarity is there only when I'm checking, really looking. So, now I know what to do: keep looking, checking always, until there's never no-looking, never no-knowing (There has been a long-standing habit of being aware of the content of thoughts at the expense of awareness of the AE - of thoughts.)

There is an awareness of experience and nothing else

Experience is the only thing happening. Nothing else really exists, like in a dream, where nothing really exists when you wake up. Or it can also happen when you really look whilst still asleep! The dreamer/dreaming/dreamed and all the contents of the dream are one dreaming experience, that's all. None of it is real except the dreaming experience. In the dream, there is no dreamer that is real, nor is anything in the dream real... it's all just dreaming.

What exactly is it that is "aware of experience".

There is nothing there but awareness. The awareness and the experience are not two things, and there certainly is no third thing that is aware of experiencing.

Describe to me what this "awarer" looks like and where it is located.

It doesn't exist. There is only awareness of a fiction. So, if fiction is illusory and doesn't exist, that leaves only one thing: awareness which is synonymous with experiencing. This verb and noun are one experience, not two things.

Are you not also aware of the "awarer"?

There is only an awareness of awaring, and the two are one thing, not two, so again, there certainly is no third thing here that is doing any of it.

Can you tell me what "by looking deliberately at experience in this way" means?

I mean focusing on the sensation of experiencing (Awareness of experience), rather than focusing on--or getting lost in--the content of experience (AE of thought.)

Is this just a figure of speech? Or are we back to a split of 'awareness' and what is being 'awared'?

No, no. I guess there will never be anything else to report, save for shifts in perspective, which is just more content of thought, different stories... But really, the "seeing through identity" has been achieved. There is no one "under" the identity, nothing under the "mask," under the idea of an "I." What stories are made up or experienced (as AE) beyond this gate are beside the point. The point was to discover the gate, and that is done.

So thank you Kay. You really know how to hang in! There were times I felt such judgment and self-loathing about my lack of progress and about going in circles over the same material without the full understanding. I felt that I was a hateful liar (there was "lying" of some sort, not deliberate, when the responses were coming from the AE of thought's content...) So many crazy thoughts (more content) came up saying that you should and would give up on me because I was hateful in some way. Fascinating to experience this now without getting lost in the story!!

There would really be nothing beyond this to report!

So just a great thank you Kay! With my gratitude and warmest appreciation for this work!

Much Love,
Danute

[Danute]

Oh, and the dreamer, in the dream, plays all the parts, even though the dreamer sometimes believes there are others in the dream that are not the dreamer. Still, all the people and things in the dream are the dreamer dreaming! It's exactly like that. Nothing more precise than that!!! Instead of telling me this, you helped me explore and discover it as true- not as belief! <3!

[forgetmenot]

Hi Danute!

Your post was great to read! So clear....I got goosebumps! :)

Does the label 'suffering' or story (thoughts) ABOUT suffering disappear

?
I would say yes to your question above, but I don't recognize the experience of labels disappearing, but yes, that's what it is. I just see the idea of suffering or sufferer, and beliefs about suffering completely lose their reality and disappear just as easily as the AE of any of these thoughts spontaneously arose.

The concept of 'suffering' does not disappear. Thoughts arise about suffering but it is soon through though as fiction, since there is no one/nothing that can 'suffer'.

So thank you Kay. You really know how to hang in!

It is my pleasure!

There are a couple more things I would like to take you through (body and time) before I give you the final 6 questions. To me it is important to see through these as well.

A simple exercise for you.

With the eyes closed, sitting still, notice the other sensations: hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. With only the input from those four senses, and without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or a volume?
Is there a boundary between the body and the ground?
Can you feel where the body ends?
Can you feel your ears?

In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there an inside or outside?
What does the body consist of in direct experience?

Do you have control over this body?
Does the body hear?
Or is there hearing?
Are you this body?

Can you please answer questions in blue individually.

Much love
Kay

[Danute]

Hello Kay,

How exciting that there is actually more to check, to really check!

Can it be known how tall the body is?

Never!

Does the body have a weight or a volume?

None that can be sensed or measured through direct experience of the senses

Is there a boundary between the body and the ground?

No. The flatness that is thought to be the ground cannot be verified by the the senses of "any body" laying upon it.

Can you feel where the body ends?

Sometimes the body feels as though it is much larger than what it is thought to be, so no, where the body ends cannot be felt.

Can you feel your ears?

They cannot be felt at all.

In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?

If anything, it feels like a pretty big amorphous cloud that changes all the time. So no, absolutely not!

Is there an inside or outside?

Of the body? No. All of the outside can be felt inside, and all of the inside can go on and on for quite a distance.

What does the body consist of in direct experience?

The body is just an idea. The experience of the body consists in sensations that are thought of as "pain," "pressure," "heartbeat," "tiredness" "temperature"... and of course all of these things do not exist. I am just using words that can be recognized as what is generally experienced "as" the body, but in doing so, I am referring to thoughts about sensations.

Do you have control over this body?

No, there is no body to control. There are sensations that seem to shift through awareness, but that's not the body shifting or being controlled.

Does the body hear?

No. Hearing happens

Or is there hearing?

Yes, there is hearing, and it has no location.

Are you this body?

Clearly not, but it still feels somehow like awareness has some dominion over-or some vague effect on-the sensations experienced by what is thought of as "this body." But it's more like awareness has dominion over direct experience, not over this body, since this body isn't real, and isn't there. Only the sensations are real and felt.

With much love,
Danute

[forgetmenot]

Dear Danute,

The body is just an idea. The experience of the body consists in sensations that are thought of as "pain," "pressure," "heartbeat," "tiredness" "temperature"... and of course all of these things do not exist. I am just using words that can be recognized as what is generally experienced "as" the body, but in doing so, I am referring to thoughts about sensations.

Yes, they are “referring to thoughts about sensations”! Nice :)

So it is clear that there is no actual experience of a body; that the AE of body is colour + sensation + thought BUT there is no actual experience of a body?
And that there is no dividing line in AE between colour/sensation/thought?

Do you have control over this body?

No, there is no body to control. There are sensations that seem to shift through awareness, but that's not the body shifting or being controlled.

Since there is no dividing line between thoughtsensationsoundcoloursmelltaste, what exactly is it that “shifts through awareness”?
Describe to me how sensations shift through “awareness”.
What exactly is it that says “sensations seem to shift through awareness”?

Are you this body?

Clearly not, but it still feels somehow like awareness has some dominion over-or some vague effect on-the sensations experienced by what is thought of as "this body." But it's more like awareness has dominion over direct experience, not over this body, since this body isn't real, and isn't there. Only the sensations are real and felt.

What is it exactly that is feeling anything?
Please describe in detail what this “awareness” is and where it is located that has dominion of direct experience? (I don’t even know what that means!)
When you ‘look’ do see something that calls itself “awareness”?

You wrote this a couple of posts back: “Here is where I "really see it." I see there is no border and I see that the perceived and perceiver are one. So the answers to the two previous questions are clarified even more: The experiencer and the experiencing are one.” But now you are saying that something called “Awareness” has dominion over direct experience?

If there is no separate things then how is it possible that something can cause something in something else?

Please answer all questions in blue.

Love Kay

[Danute]

Hello Kay,

So it is clear that there is no actual experience of a body; that the AE of body is colour + sensation + thought BUT there is no actual experience of a body?
And that there is no dividing line in AE between colour/sensation/thought?

Yes, very clear. No actual experience of a body. There is no dividing line in AE between color/sensation/all of the senses... and yes, thought is also an experience, just like the sensations.

Since there is no dividing line between thoughtsensationsoundcoloursmelltaste, what exactly is it that “shifts through awareness”?

It's not that "anything" shifts through awareness; there is no object of awareness. But experience is--at all times--shifting in awareness, or it is "shifting awareness" (awareness ever-shifting). Again, awareness and experience are one.

Describe to me how sensations shift through “awareness”.

Awareness shifts, and new sensations are experienced.

What exactly is it that says “sensations seem to shift through awareness”?

It's a thought that says it. (That's why I used the word "seem")

What is it exactly that is feeling anything?

Awareness is feeling; where feeling is a noun and a verb at the same time.

When you ‘look’ do see something that calls itself “awareness”?

No, that would be a thought and the content about identity something like: "This awareness is me, the position from which I am looking; a point of view." All story.

Please describe in detail what this “awareness” is and where it is located that has dominion of direct experience? (I don’t even know what that means!)

Awareness is "sensation happening," but it is happening in nothingness, meaning nowhere.

But now you are saying that something called “Awareness” has dominion over direct experience?[/quote]

Yes, you "caught" me again, trying to find something over which there can be some influence, or some control. Looking for some way to "find comfort" or "arrive at peace." Yikes. Caught in the content again! ;)

It still "seems" that awareness is the seat of all AE, of sensations, of awaring, and that awareness can be shifted. But if awareness can't do anything but be aware, then "who/what" can shift anything? Who is running the show? The show is running itself, as a program. Yes, I can see that something about Danute is still trying to find where this show can be changed, influenced, controlled somehow. Hilarious!

When I wake up in a dream (lucid dreaming) there is something that can decide what should happen next, but even that illusion (of directing the dream) can be kept up only for a certain time. The more disciplined the mind, the longer the illusion of controlling the dream can be maintained... wow. Wow. I can see.... I can see this thing...

So, an infinitely disciplined mind can think it's controlling the illusion for a long time, but it's still illusion, it's still all content of thought.

Okay, that was a sticking point, thank you!

If there is no separate things then how is it possible that something can cause something in something else?

Causality is just in the dream, in the program. It is not even real...

Pretty cool! Then there is nothing to control! No need to try...

"Shiver me timbers" (lol!)

That was fabulous pointing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Love,
Danute

[forgetmenot]

Hi Danute,

Your answers have a different timbre to them now, which is wonderful! However, there seems to be something going on with the idea of ‘awareness” and your answers to these questions aren’t clear. Awareness shifts and experiences and yet it is happening in nothingness?! I don’t understand what that means! How can there be nothingness if there is soundsensationthoughtsmelltastecolour. It is only thought that divides wholeness into individual parts of sound and sensation and thought and smell and taste and colour – there is no ‘and’.

Describe to me how sensations shift through “awareness”.

Awareness shifts, and new sensations are experienced.

This is why the word “awareness” can be a problem because it points to something being aware of something else which alludes to an idea of subject/object split. Try using the word ‘experience’ instead. Now look and see if sensations, which is experience, can shift through experience!

So how can experience shift?
Does it morph into something different – from sensation to sound for example? If that is the case then there would only be sensation and there would be no sound ‘happening’ at the same time as the sensation, and how then would it morph into something else...what would be the catalyst for the morph? Would that not mean there is a cause that would make experience shift into something else?

What is it exactly that is feeling anything?

Awareness is feeling; where feeling is a noun and a verb at the same time.

Since there is no separate individual that is aware of anything, is there something else in the background that is ‘creating’ sensation or is the experience simply that sensation appears?

Please describe in detail what this “awareness” is and where it is located that has dominion of direct experience? (I don’t even know what that means!)

Awareness is "sensation happening," but it is happening in nothingness, meaning nowhere.

Do you mean as in a location ?
Nothinginess implies an emptiness......a void, and a void implies that there is nothing going on - that there is something beyond THIS. There is never nothing going on! Is not experience 'happening' all the time? Is THIS (the show/dream) ever not 'happening'?

But now you are saying that something called “Awareness” has dominion over direct experience?

Yes, you "caught" me again, trying to find something over which there can be some influence, or some control. Looking for some way to "find comfort" or "arrive at peace." Yikes. Caught in the content again! ;)

Nice find! :)

It still "seems" that awareness is the seat of all AE, of sensations, of awaring, and that awareness can be shifted. But if awareness can't do anything but be aware, then "who/what" can shift anything? Who is running the show? The show is running itself, as a program. Yes, I can see that something about Danute is still trying to find where this show can be changed, influenced, controlled somehow. Hilarious!

Nice noticing! :)

There is no AWARENESS being AWARE though! Pinpoint the exact place where there is a dividing line between awareness and awared! There is no ‘and’! There is only awareness/awared (awarenessaware)OR knowing/known (knowingknown).

There is NO DANUTE! Where is this Danute…..tell me where Danute is located and what Danute looks like. Speaking about Danute as the third person, is still talking about a person! There is NO PERSON who is trying to ‘get this’!

Is there even a ‘noticer’(awarer) found anywhere in experience, or is it a thought about a something noticing and someone getting something wrong or trying to ‘get this’?

So, an infinitely disciplined mind can think it's controlling the illusion for a long time, but it's still illusion, it's still all content of thought.

Yes, it’s still all content of thought as is the idea that there is a mind (disciplined or undisciplined!)!

If there is no separate things then how is it possible that something can cause something in something else?

Causality is just in the dream, in the program. It is not even real...
Pretty cool! Then there is nothing to control! No need to try...
"Shiver me timbers" (lol!)

Haha…yes…no need to try…what is it exactly that is trying?

Love Kay

[Danute]

Hello Kay,

Awareness shifts and experiences and yet it is happening in nothingness?! I don’t understand what that means!

I meant "nowhere" and instead said "nothingness." I was referring to location.

Please describe in detail what this “awareness” is and WHERE it is located

I wrote, "Awareness shifts and experiences" not meaning that... not checking in with AE enough to be precise!

Awareness is the non-local (nowhere, no-place) experiencing of AE, including the AE of thoughts. The only thing that "shifts" (changes) is the content of thought.

Now look and see if sensations, which is experience, can shift through experience!

No, sensations don't shift through experience. That's a question I don't understand. The only thing that shifts (changes) is the content of thoughts.

There is no causality--in any direction--between experience and sensations.

there would be no sound ‘happening’ at the same time as the sensation,

The sensation + the thought "sound" happen at the same time

and how then would it morph into something else...what would be the catalyst for the morph?

There is no catalyst for sensations to change. There are different sensations (hearing, tasting, smelling, seeing, and touch sensations) that appear and disappear with no cause. (I take it that "shift" or "morph" would not be appropriate to use to describe "shifting sensations," or "shifting awareness" in this context?)

Would that not mean there is a cause that would make experience shift into something else?

No, no cause for any shifts. One moment there might be hearing + the content of thought that labels "sound;" and another moment tasting + hearing + the AE of thoughts about eating and hearing; and another moment, where there might be no more hearing, just tasting + the AE of thoughts about eating. Again, this is what I had in mind when I used the term "shifting experience. Can you say why this is misleading?"

So how can experience shift?
Does it morph into something different – from sensation to sound for example? If that is the case then there would only be sensation and there would be no sound ‘happening’ at the same time as the sensation, and how then would it morph into something else...what would be the catalyst for the morph? Would that not mean there is a cause that would make experience shift into something else?

I hope I just clarified myself on these points. Sets of sensations that constitute AE can arise and change into a different set, with no dividing line between the two, so experience can shift in this sense to something different, a different AE. Still, there is no causality for the change. Is this being expressed or understood incorrectly?

Since there is no separate individual that is aware of anything, is there something else in the background that is ‘creating’ sensation or is the experience simply that sensation appears?

The experience is that sensation appears, and there is nothing in the background that "creates" it or causes it to appear or disappear (or shift)

I add "shift" not for "right or wrong," but to indicate that's how I was using the word and that I understood it that way.

There is no AWARENESS being AWARE though! Pinpoint the exact place where there is a dividing line between awareness and awared! There is no ‘and’! There is only awareness/awared (awarenessaware)OR knowing/known (knowingknown).

I don't know how else to express that I really get this awareness/awaring/awared as being ONE thing. There is no dividing line. I see that.

I can see that something about Danute is still trying to find where this show can be changed, influenced, controlled somehow.

Okay. Caught in the illusion again. Thoughts arose with content about Danute, that were not seen through, as though there is "someone" that exists, and that there is someone who believes that something is still being "tried, " and that there is a purposeful attempt to figure out how this show--which doesn't exist-- can be changed." Wow, that's a lot of content of thought that is still being fallen for!

Is there even a ‘noticer’(awarer) found anywhere in experience, or is it a thought about a something noticing and someone getting something wrong or trying to ‘get this’?

Yes, the latter. Ugh :(

Yes, it’s still all content of thought as is the idea that there is a mind (disciplined or undisciplined!)!

The level of "not seeing through" content is alarming... okay, maybe funny... as long as there are no thoughts anywhere about "impatience" in AE... (lol-ing)

Haha…yes…no need to try…what is it exactly that is trying?

A content of thought is trying! (kidding, that just sounds so cute. Actually, it's just a thought arising, and nothing and nobody is trying anything.)

Where is the hope, Kay? What is there to hope? I know... and who is hoping? Always more content to recognize as illusory :(

Hopelessly determined,
With love,
Danute

[forgetmenot]

Hi Danute,

You are rather tough on yourself. Using “aware’ for the purpose of communication is fine…we do use language to communicate. I was checking to make sure that that was purpose of the term and that there wasn’t still something unclear about it! :) "Awareness" is not a thing. It is a concept that describes the process of thoughts arising about the thoughts that arise.

No, no cause for any shifts. One moment there might be hearing + the content of thought that labels "sound;" and another moment tasting + hearing + the AE of thoughts about eating and hearing; and another moment, where there might be no more hearing, just tasting + the AE of thoughts about eating. Again, this is what I had in mind when I used the term "shifting experience. Can you say why this is misleading?"

There is an assumption of time in this. That experience shifts from one experience to another or to a multitude of different experiences. This is still an idea of separation. Experience doesn’t shift….only thought says it does. Experience is seamless, it is thought that divides the seamlessness into parts which is labelled ‘thought’, ‘sound’, ‘colour’, ‘taste’, ‘smell’ and ‘sensation’. So in reality can there be any difference in seamless experience between these concepts?

It’s like a piece of bubble wrap. The bubbles are protruding parts of the whole which are labelled as bubbles. But are they any different to what the entire bubble wrap is made of? So can they really be different to the whole or is it a thought that says has labelled them as ‘bubbles’ which seems to make them different from the whole?

And again, for communication purposes, yes, words are used to describe experience that is divided by thought into those 5 senses + thought. Concepts are all that we have to use, and concepts are just abstractions in/of this utterly indivisible and seamless show and any divisions of the indivisible are meaningless. So concepts are meaningless.

I don't know how else to express that I really get this awareness/awaring/awared as being ONE thing. There is no dividing line. I see that.

That’s fine…I just needed to check to see how ‘awareness’ was being used!  Thank you for clarifying it and your use of ‘shift’. :)

and that there is a purposeful attempt to figure out how this show--which doesn't exist-- can be changed." Wow, that's a lot of content of thought that is still being fallen for!

What says that the show doesn’t exist? All there IS…IS THIS SHOW…but the thoughts ABOUT the SHOW are fiction. There is a big difference!

The level of "not seeing through" content is alarming... okay, maybe funny... as long as there are no thoughts anywhere about "impatience" in AE... (lol-ing)

There is an expectation that you will always see through content immediately….and you won’t. This is just the way it is and it’s okay because it is all part of the show as well! And yes…just what is it that could be ‘impatient’? Look for that what can be impatient!

Where is the hope, Kay? What is there to hope? I know... and who is hoping? Always more content to recognize as illusory :(

Yes, content is illusory…but the show/dream itself is not.

Love Kay

[Danute]

Hello Kay,

Thank you for explaining this. All of it is crystal clear.

Awareness is not being objectified or separated into components. I see awareness as the ground of everything: the whole bubble wrap, with nothing else as real. Some words might be synonymous (like "actual experience" or "awaring continually" "experiencing" etc.) and anything else would only be descriptive of the content of thought.

There is an assumption of time in this. That experience shifts from one experience to another or to a multitude of different experiences. This is still an idea of separation. Experience doesn’t shift….only thought says it does. Experience is seamless, it is thought that divides the seamlessness into parts which is labelled ‘thought’, ‘sound’, ‘colour’, ‘taste’, ‘smell’ and ‘sensation’. So in reality can there be any difference in seamless experience between these concepts?

Yes, I can see how the assumption of time was "hidden" in that thinking, and that nothing can actually "shift." So I see how "experience doesn't shift; it just is." I can see how "aspects" of experience are separated out of the whole (in the content of thought) and believed to be as occurring in a certain sequence in time." I have had the experience of "meditating" and sitting "outside of time," and clearly saw that everything is now, all of it that ever "was" (in thoughts) is still only now.

Yes, "the show" exists, but the contents of the show are not real. You can also see that when I was using "shift" for the content of thought, clarity was somewhat still blurred and a little out of focus about the very clear line between awareness and content.

There is an expectation that you will always see through content immediately….and you won’t.

I am glad you clarified that. I did have an expectation about this. It was as though I was saying, "I am going to see a movie, and I "expect" to remain conscious the whole time that I am in a theater watching a screen and that none of it is real...." That wouldn't even make sense! There is a certain pleasure of enjoyment in "forgetting oneself" and getting lost in the movie, as long as one is able to "come back to a reality" without hesitation.

There is an expectation that you will always see through content immediately….and you won’t.

Yes and there it appeared again, in that last paragraph, when I wrote, "as long as one is able to "come back to a reality" without hesitation."

This is just the way it is and it’s okay because it is all part of the show as well!

The show is to be enjoyed, all the parts, even the scary parts. Even the "forgetting where you are" parts. It's the whole enchilada, the entire bubble wrap, it's "the only show in town!" lol!

I think I get it, and if you think it useful to keep pointing/checking, then great, I am still in all the way. If not, then great also; then I have plenty of material to review and keep practicing to keep in view the clear line between awareness (all that there ever is, only) and content of thought.

Yes, content is illusory…but the show/dream itself is not.

Got it. The show is real indeed. Its contents are not.

Do you remember how you were writing to me about how there were not "two levels?" On the level of awareness, the only level that there is, I agree there are not two levels. But in the show/dream, there are a multitude of levels possible, none of them real. So why would you object to separating out, for conceptual purposes, for orientation, recognition, clarity... that there is the true level of awareness (the only one) but that the appearance of "any other level" would be the non-real level (content of thought.) Is it because that "2-level" way of looking at it always takes us back to a perspective of duality, which would mar a clear awareness of reality?

Also, at the beginning of our work, the first thing you asked me was about feelings, and we never returned to that subject. Do you think that there's no further use for that? Just curious as to why that was at the top of our conversation, and then suddenly faded.

This has been wonderful Kay, I am really grateful. I have been much more relaxed and open to observing rather than hell-bent on doing. The doing still gets done, but with much less effort and deliberation, and it's a delight to watch how everything simply happens all by itself! And you're right: nothing really has changed, nor do I expect it anything in particular to change. The awaring is plenty fun, just by itself!

Love,
Danute

[forgetmenot]

Hey Danute,

We have gone beyond the normal level of looking through the separate individual and done ‘work’ that usually is done in ‘further investigation’, which is a whole new thread. But never mind…to me this is organic and we go where we go! We will look at ‘time’ because the body and time are beliefs that need to be seen through as part of seeing clearly through the separate individual. After time..it’s confirmation time and that’s it.

Is it because that "2-level" way of looking at it always takes us back to a perspective of duality, which would mar a clear awareness of reality?

Yes. Pointing is about keeping it clear.

Also, at the beginning of our work, the first thing you asked me was about feelings, and we never returned to that subject. Do you think that there's no further use for that? Just curious as to why that was at the top of our conversation, and then suddenly faded.

I checked into feelings in the beginning to see if fear and/or resistance was arising so that we could look at that. Seeing through the separate individual is about seeing through stories, not talking about them (that’s therapy). As you have seen stories are related to the belief that there is something happening to somebody…and that is not true! There is no such thing as “feelings” as in emotions. The AE of emotions = thought + sensation.

This has been wonderful Kay, I am really grateful. I have been much more relaxed and open to observing rather than hell-bent on doing. The doing still gets done, but with much less effort and deliberation, and it's a delight to watch how everything simply happens all by itself! And you're right: nothing really has changed, nor do I expect it anything in particular to change. The awaring is plenty fun, just by itself!

That is wonderful! :) Just have a look…is the ‘doing’ getting done because of your intention or is it just ‘happening’?

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time or an event that is moving forward on this linear time, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience that the now is moving along the line of time?

How fast is the present moment actually moving?

How long does the now last?

Where does it start and where does it end?

When does the now exactly become the 'past'?

What is the past in actual experience?

Please look for the answers many-many times ;) before replying.

Love Kay