Indeed! Every single sentence enhances the notion of I, me and mine.but the language can also trap one into ways of thinking.
Are you expecting a "total experience of awareness", when the Illusion of self is seen through? What would it look like?There is no total experience of awareness, only moments of focused awareness that come from different sensory input. .
It happens in a different way. You won't forget that there is an I because you are immersed into sensations. You will see through the Illusion of the 'I'.Actual experience of being aware, defined by forgetting an I because the actual sensory experience is all that is present, comes and goes.
I am standing in the bank now. It is an "I" until I look at the floor and suddenly there is just sound, even temparture, voices of people. There isn't an I but an awareness of these things. Then I look up and "I am back", the idea of me as a personality needing my banking sorted and late for a meeting, etc.
It seems to always be a thought that starts, and then the "I" returns to deal with the thought, and the subsequent barrage of thoughts that follow. As if the "I" is created to deal with the thoughts, as well as to generate them. Once they are there, is is hard to distinguish between thought and the "I", they are practically inseparable.Next time just hearing or seeing happens, pay close attention to the 'I' coming back. Where does is come from? What is it made of?
When sitting or resting thoughts appear either spontaneously. There is a sense of a gap, call it a lack of clear thought, when just allowing input to be there, and thoughts almost rush to fill that gap. Honestly my gut reaction is that there is in fact some kind of crazy coherence but its not conscious or controllable by my conscious mind. Once they start, one triggers another and they rush around. Only concentrating on sensory input keeps the gap clear of thinking.1) Where are thoughts coming from? Look very carefully. Is there an obvious cause or reason for their appearance or their sequence?
No. It can be forced in a direction, but after that its like a wriggly hamster - it just runs off wherever it wants to, generally in the opposite direction from where "I" would choose to take it. At least, there is a constant attempt to reign in a new thought with a different thought, or analysis of it. Its a crazy cycle.2) Observe thought closely. Try to determine what your next thought is going to be before it appears. Can you do this?
Before it arises? How can you stop what you can't even know is coming? So, I don't think so. Once it has arisen. Thought has a gravitas of its own. The big ones are scary ones are not easily dealt with. Little ones or light ones can be brushed aside. At best, concentrating on something else (could be another thought) or sensory input (like breathing during meditation) takes attention off it and that reduces the power, but doesn't change the thought itself.3) Can you stop a thought before it arises or after it has arisen?
It is not about a new belief "That there is no 'I' ". It is about seeing it like you see the sun.Wanted to ask - do you want me to avoid saying "I" when I write? How do you navigate in the world if you really believe there is no "I", as there is still a body referred to that is responsible for things getting done?
When sitting or resting thoughts appear either spontaneously. There is a sense of a gap, call it a lack of clear thought, when just allowing input to be there, and thoughts almost rush to fill that gap.
Honestly my gut reaction is that there is in fact some kind of crazy coherence but its not conscious or controllable by my conscious mind.
Can you actually perceive that they trigger each other? If not, this is a thought as well.Once they start, one triggers another and they rush around.
Can thoughts see or hear, feel, smell or taste anything?Only concentrating on sensory input keeps the gap clear of thinking
No. It can be forced in a direction,2) Observe thought closely. Try to determine what your next thought is going to be before it appears. Can you do this?
So, I don't think so.3) Can you stop a thought before it arises or after it has arisen?
There is a desire to fix the unfixable, but when someone is in such pain it feels like I have to do something. Of course there is nothing, but to be present, but the feeling persists.The excruciating pain of losing your soulmate for decades cannot be comforted. The comfort you can give is allowing all of (your mom's?) pain to be, to come out in whatever expression it finds. That way it can heal in it's own time which might be long. Can you be with her in that and also with your own emotions which may be quite different?
This morning I am slightly ill. Probably built up stress for some time or at least a weak immune system. There is a lethargy that makes doing anything seem almost impossible. The gap is not as easy to access. Stopping, looking out at the day. There is a sense of it, but my body keeps drawing my attention to it. Sore. Cramps. In the gap there isn't a "me", and no there is nothing to be achieved. These days I have been doing more and more to try and bend the world, to shape it into something else than what is - which at his very moment is tainted with a lack of energy and the concern that life is just this, and it feels lacking.Talk more about how you feel and the central calm gap you can access quite easily. Is there a 'you' in this gap?
Who could achieve anything?
We are human beings and want to alleviate the suffering of another person. I think that is wonderful. The best medicine to alleviate the suffering is another human being, being with us while we are in pain, allowing the pain to be there.There is a desire to fix the unfixable, but when someone is in such pain it feels like I have to do something. Of course there is nothing, but to be present, but the feeling persists.
Yes, we so much want the world to be...ANYTHING BUT THISThese days I have been doing more and more to try and bend the world, to shape it into something else than what is - which at his very moment is tainted with a lack of energy and the concern that life is just this, and it feels lacking.
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