Hi Sara
Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is absolutely no separate entity. There never has been. This is an illusion that stems from identifying with the mind and what we are told by others.
Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
The illusion of separate self would start in childhood, I believe, when we first start identifying with our name , and from there we start identifying with thoughts that say that there is 'me' and 'others'. This creates the lie of the 'self'. The mind plays a trick on us, one that we fall for so easily as we do not know any better. We are not told that the thoughts/emotions etc are just there and are not generated by us. So we believe that they are 'ours'.
Describe it fully as you see it now.
The 'I' is formed or moulded out of the clay of the thoughts, beliefs, perceptions emotions etc that we identify with - that we think belong to an 'I'. When we break the pot that is made out of this clay, it all crumbles away to leave nothing. This is what happens when we see that all along the 'I' was just rubbish. The thoughts, beliefs etc fall away to leave nothing.
How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days
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It feels interesting. It is relieving in the sense that now there is not so much identification with thoughts and emotions. They are just seen, but not much stock is put into them. Apart from this there is no great change. There are no feelings of 'bliss'. It is very easy to see.
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
There was no specific piece of information that pushed me over. It was gradual.
Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life?
No, as there is no 'I' that does any of these things.
Do you make anything happen?
No, because there is no I. The I cant control anything, or make anything happen as there is no i.
Give examples from your experience.
Take for example, when there is speech. There is no need to rehearse what is said. It just comes out. There is no one there speaking, it is just happening.
Anything else to add?
Not really, apart from the fact that it is clearly seen that there is no 'I'.
Thanks
sikara