Hi

[sunshine1988]

Hiya Sandra!
Made it back - love the mountains!
Had a great time catching myself or rather the "I" trying to take credit for things being done. I would be feeding the dogs and noticed that the thought of "go do that" was secondary to the action. But "I" kept me on my toes to keep seeing this.
My dog(Shadaisy) cut her leg open(I had the vet supplies & fixed her up daily). Watching her deal or rather not deal with being hurt was really eye opening. It is a nasty cut but she attached no "hurt/or poor me" thought to it and after the first hour of getting use to her leg being bandaged - she paid it no mind. Chased squirrels and dug for mice - same as usual. This made me more mindful of the illusion of "I" and just how much my thought help that illusion. That adage "pain is pain but suffering is optional" really holds alot of truth.
Thought I would share some of my insights of the week.
Hope you had a great week!
Heather

[sunshine1988]

Dang it - one more thing that was noticed: I believe that I had it wrong when I said experiencing moment to moment was where it was at. I have started to experience a continuous moment - the moment just keeps going -no break. Sorry I forgot to include that in the previous post! :)

[Canfora]

Hi Heather,

Glad you're back and thank you for sharing your insights!
Dogs are great teachers, I also looked at mine when doing this inquiry.
I need to know what is that, at the moment, keeps you stuck in the illusion.
Where do you think a separate you can be and why is still believed there is separation from all the rest.
Share your thoughts around these matters.

Hug,
Sandra

[Canfora]

I believe that I had it wrong when I said experiencing moment to moment was where it was at. I have started to experience a continuous moment - the moment just keeps going -no break.

Very nice! You can see there is a continuous 'flow' - no separation between one moment and other moment and other moment. Good :)

[sunshine1988]

Hi Sandra,

I need to know what is that, at the moment, keeps you stuck in the illusion.
Where do you think a separate you can be and why is still believed there is separation from all the rest.

I know the "I" is an illusion but I do still get caught up in my thoughts. However, the thoughts are quickly seen through as just plain thoughts with no thinker involved. So not thinking I am stuck in the illusion but you see things from me that I don't see - so maybe...?
I can no longer see a separate me. No "I" can be found/experienced. I believe this to be true because way before your help with direct experience - when I would focus on no self and think I would see everything as one - the all one still centered or came from me. Now one movement is seen everywhere/ in everything - not centering from me.
Thanks so much,
Heather

[Canfora]

Hi Heather,

Let's see if there is something unclear. Can you please answer the questions below looking at your experience?

Have you been able to find, a ‘you’ that is the ‘experiencer’?

Or a you that is the doer, or can control what happens?

Or a you that ‘makes’ decisions?

Or a you who ‘does the thinking’?

Or a you that is the body or inside the body?

Are the five body senses made to arise or experienced by this ‘you’?

Is there a you ‘in here’ which is separate from the world and others ‘out there’?

Is there doubt or unclarity that in all these cases the ‘you’ is nothing other than a mental fabrication?

Looking forward to your answers!

Hug,
Sandra

[sunshine1988]

Hi Sandra,

Have you been able to find, a ‘you’ that is the ‘experiencer’?
Or a you that is the doer, or can control what happens?
Or a you that ‘makes’ decisions?
Or a you who ‘does the thinking’?
Or a you that is the body or inside the body?
Are the five body senses made to arise or experienced by this ‘you’?
Is there a you ‘in here’ which is separate from the world and others ‘out there’?
Is there doubt or unclarity that in all these cases the ‘you’ is nothing other than a mental fabrication?

I am happy to report there is not a me anywhere to be found!
There is simply experience, action, things being done, thoughts, no me inside or out, the 5 senses simply are there and I don't make them arise.
No I inside and no others outside and yes "me/I" is an illusion - always has been and always will be!
Wow - there is a little bit of bliss but not like midway through when I had a glimpse. Now there is a total knowing - freeing and unlimited.
Thank you for your insight on my wanting to control life and helping me see it and the illusion that it is :)
Thank you, thank you!
Heather

[Canfora]

Wow, goose bumps here! So happy for you!
Have a go with LU standard questions. There is no need to answer all them at once, I'll wait until you finished before I reply. They will let us know if we need to look at something more:


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there
ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How
does it work? What are you responsible for?

Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

[sunshine1988]

Hi Sandra!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there
ever?

No separate me - Never was and never will be!

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is - that "I" think/see/control life and am able to decide. The illusion starts as a child and my family/friends help "me" continue to build up the "I". Past a certain age(12?) I didn't need anymore help - for "I" was totally caught up in the ME ME ME of our society. I needed to do this or I needed to be that - and when this or that didn't happen as I thought it should - oh the sad low moments or the high highs that never lasted long enough - and off I would go again seeking something to make me more, to feel great all the time, to be at peace. This was the sad often lonely road of "I".

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

I want to say "what a waste of life" but life played out as it should because it wasn't any other way. It is.
There is an acceptance/ok-ness with whatever is happening - I am enjoying that there is no one to protect - there never was but that illusion had me believing there was. In the pass two weeks, I have had more open heartfelt conversations and a great deal of just listening!

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

When you pointed out what was really holding me back - my need to control life. I could clearly see that no "i" was present - hence there is no control. You also pointed out that this was part of my identity as Heather. And this lead to a whole bunch of questions to myself on what was real and illusion. Amazing what beliefs I have that have been seen as fictitious.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How
does it work? What are you responsible for?

There is no "I" to make/have decision, intention, free will, choice and control. Life happens. I haven't, can't, don't make life work - it just does.
I am not responsible for anyone - there is no one to be responsible!

Thanks,
Heather

[Canfora]

Hi Heather,

Thank you for your answers. Some of the other guides have read this conversation and we have no more questions for you. Welcome to the other side of the gateless gate :)

One of the administrators is going to send you some information and invite you to join the LU groups. I hope to see you there. It was a big pleasure being your guide!

Hugs,
Sandra

[sunshine1988]

Sandra,
Thank you so much for all you have done - your Time and Patience have changed my life!
Lots of hugs to you!!!
Heather