Looking for a Guide

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Scott,

An amendment. I'm less attached to being myself. My previous identified self is not who I am. Not sure who I am, in a good way. Really feel like a new chance to revitalize is present.

^ this is a great space to be in. The not-knowing.

When you're outside, let's say there are trees ahead. You look at the trees.

In this experience, of "looking at the trees", notice that directional sense of looking outwards, almost as if the looking was throwing attention out towards the tree, to grasp the tree, to know it as a "tree". Also notice the tension around the eyes when it feels like a looker is looking.

Now, take a moment to pause and we do another contrasting activity:

This time, rather than looking, the light is coming this way, received by the eyes.
There is no need for a looker, for the light is being received effortlessly by the eyes.
As this unfolds, relax the eyes even more, receive the light, without the need of a receiver.

Keeping halving the effort of the eyes, till there is no effort left - only receiving light. The light is un-named and un-labelled. As yet, no "trees", only light.

Sometimes, it can seem like the light travels straight through you.

Have a play, and share what shows up.

With kind thanks,
John

[Jivaro]

Sounds great john. It's been raining today. Sun tomorrow. I'll send a report.

Namaste
Scott

[s-p-a-c-e]

great - thanks Scott.

[Jivaro]

The experience of looking at the trees was what it was. Looking at trees. Things are starting to appear clearer to me over the last few days, all senses seemed heightened, so it was nice to look, observe, extend sight/energy to the tree. I did notice the tension around the eyes. Just slight, but there. It felt good to relax the area.
When I let the light come to me it started to seem brighter but I was in a more relaxed state. I stood for about 5 minutes receiving the light. After awhile feeling of the light was possible. The light started to enter into me, pass through me. The tree became less clear as I relaxed more. Sometimes the light felt like it was passing through me. Other moments it felt like I was gone. Just seconds at a time but over & over. It seemed like a controllable thing. Relax, observe disappear, reappear. back & forth. Some body sensations. rushes for lack of better words. A very nice experience.

Namaste
Scott

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hey Scott,

The experience of looking at the trees was what it was. Looking at trees. Things are starting to appear clearer to me over the last few days, all senses seemed heightened, so it was nice to look, observe, extend sight/energy to the tree. I did notice the tension around the eyes. Just slight, but there. It felt good to relax the area.
When I let the light come to me it started to seem brighter but I was in a more relaxed state. I stood for about 5 minutes receiving the light. After awhile feeling of the light was possible. The light started to enter into me, pass through me. The tree became less clear as I relaxed more. Sometimes the light felt like it was passing through me. Other moments it felt like I was gone. Just seconds at a time but over & over. It seemed like a controllable thing. Relax, observe disappear, reappear. back & forth. Some body sensations. rushes for lack of better words. A very nice experience.

Namaste
Scott

Nice work - thank you for giving it time.

You are gone. :) At least as the idea of "Scott" as the centre of "Scott's" universe.

Love that (the bit in bold).

its a nice exercise to experience our nature - to see fully that an idea of the "sky" is not the sky, an idea of an "eagle" is not an eagle, and an idea of "Scott" is not you.

Bring as much of "Scott" to the fore within yourself and just sit with "Scott", the one that you have been for all these years - this "Scott" has served you so well and got you to here, and now, you want to say goodbye?

How does that feel? Please share.

Thank you,
John

[Jivaro]

Bring as much of "Scott" to the fore within yourself and just sit with "Scott", the one that you have been for all these years - this "Scott" has served you so well and got you to here, and now, you want to say goodbye?

How does that feel? Please share.

Several things are felt. Excitement, apprehension, fear of a true unknown future.( I do realize the future is always unknown) but good bye Scott stirs up things. Also is noted though that I feel great movement in this process. So I wonder is this the logical next step in my spirituality? I feel there will always be more steps to take............. I took a few minute break & went inside myself, if there is one. The person that sent here said I'd learn "selflessness is not nothing, it's everything"................ a few more minutes. Yes. Let's say good bye to "Scott" He's getting older. Yeah it's time for me. Truly believe it. I had to set with it more while typing. So yes once again. I knew it was going to come to this. that's why I'm here. It's just happening so fast. A little amazed to be honest.

Live in the Light
Scott

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Scott,

Bring as much of "Scott" to the fore within yourself and just sit with "Scott", the one that you have been for all these years - this "Scott" has served you so well and got you to here, and now, you want to say goodbye?

How does that feel? Please share.

Several things are felt. Excitement, apprehension, fear of a true unknown future.( I do realize the future is always unknown) but good bye Scott stirs up things. Also is noted though that I feel great movement in this process. So I wonder is this the logical next step in my spirituality? I feel there will always be more steps to take............. I took a few minute break & went inside myself, if there is one. The person that sent here said I'd learn "selflessness is not nothing, it's everything"................ a few more minutes. Yes. Let's say good bye to "Scott" He's getting older. Yeah it's time for me. Truly believe it. I had to set with it more while typing. So yes once again. I knew it was going to come to this. that's why I'm here. It's just happening so fast. A little amazed to be honest.

Live in the Light
Scott

It may seem dramatic, because after all there is no "Scott", no "John", never has been, but that doesn't stop it feeling that way. The one that says goodbye to "Scott" knows without knowing, is of the wind, of the sky, of the breath.

Once this is rolling, that's it. We just keep tapping the ball along, keeping it rolling.

When sitting and looking, there will be looking happening all by itself, or the same with the additional sense/idea that "Scott is looking". Simply see that idea for what it is. Not to push it away. Just to see it clearly as an idea, an assumption, of a "Scott", for so long, seemingly at the centre of experience - and now, there's a growing seeing that life does not need an "intermediary", as "person" to do, think, act, eat, walk, breathe.

Feeling life return to the heart.

Share the experience.

Thank you,
John

[Jivaro]

[quoteWhen sitting and looking, there will be looking happening all by itself, or the same with the additional sense/idea that "Scott is looking". Simply see that idea for what it is. Not to push it away. Just to see it clearly as an idea, an assumption, of a "Scott", for so long, seemingly at the centre of experience - and now, there's a growing seeing that life does not need an "intermediary", as "person" to do, think, act, eat, walk, breathe.

Feeling life return to the heart.

Share the experience.
][/quote]
It was a good night to try this. I attended a meeting with about 20 people. A small group that I'm sometimes active in. The ability to look all by itself. Then there would be a drift back to Scott is watching this. This went on for about 2 1/2 hr.'s At first conversations were a little hard to follow. That got better. I listened better. I had less judgment of others. I was more at ease and attentive but didn't interact as much. I spoke when required or I needed to address something but then I observed. To continue the assumption of observing is relatively easy. To say no identity is needed is also an assumption I can accept. Troubled by no identity. Even when I disappeared I reappeared.
There is a feeling of life coming to me. Also some peaceful anxiety. I'm at peace but I feel an anxious feeling. A vibration within. Just under the skin.

Thank You

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Scott,

It was a good night to try this. I attended a meeting with about 20 people. A small group that I'm sometimes active in. The ability to look all by itself. Then there would be a drift back to Scott is watching this. This went on for about 2 1/2 hr.'s At first conversations were a little hard to follow. That got better. I listened better. I had less judgment of others. I was more at ease and attentive but didn't interact as much. I spoke when required or I needed to address something but then I observed. To continue the assumption of observing is relatively easy. To say no identity is needed is also an assumption I can accept. Troubled by no identity. Even when I disappeared I reappeared.
There is a feeling of life coming to me. Also some peaceful anxiety. I'm at peace but I feel an anxious feeling. A vibration within. Just under the skin.

Thank You

Really nice work! Its a curious effect, as "Scott" fades, we see others in a new way. Also, ease etc. Nothing to defend. :)

There is no believing necessary here. Only seeing what is, challenging assumptions ABOUT how things are, dropping assumptions about "Me" at the centre of experience, because when you breathe, talk, eat, walk, there is no "me".

The anxious feeling is expected, at the anticipation of "Scott" not being at the centre - but what we are seeing here is that "Scott" never was. "Scott" is an idea with associations to physical sensations/feelings. That's all.

Each time "Scott" is felt, look directly at the feeling, and feel the feeling AS a feeling. To make this explicit you might even say, "I've been calling this feeling Scott - isn't it just a feeling?"

Explore and share.

Thank you,
John

[Jivaro]

Each time "Scott" is felt, look directly at the feeling, and feel the feeling AS a feeling. To make this explicit you might even say, "I've been calling this feeling Scott - isn't it just a feeling?"

Explore and share.

it was a good day. Went to my mother's nursing home, drove back home, did some house chores, went to the vet. Just a regular day. I carried the above quote with me. On the seat of the car, etc. When I'd catch myself having an emotional reaction ie: laugh, startled, aggravated, just whatever. I'd reread it. It began to really set in. All emotions, thoughts, feelings toward, are just feelings & how identified I was with them. It almost seems humorous at times. The "Cosmic Joke" if you will. I still feel jittery today but less than yesterday. My blood pressure is up just a bit over it's usual. This day felt less overwhelming than the others previous days. If it's alright with my guide another day of this may help stabilize out my anxiety (it isn't, just don't know what to call it). You know best. Funny as write this, not for sure. You know best. This is an amazing journey!

Thank You
Scott

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Scott,

Each time "Scott" is felt, look directly at the feeling, and feel the feeling AS a feeling. To make this explicit you might even say, "I've been calling this feeling Scott - isn't it just a feeling?"

Explore and share.

it was a good day. Went to my mother's nursing home, drove back home, did some house chores, went to the vet. Just a regular day. I carried the above quote with me. On the seat of the car, etc. When I'd catch myself having an emotional reaction ie: laugh, startled, aggravated, just whatever. I'd reread it. It began to really set in. All emotions, thoughts, feelings toward, are just feelings & how identified I was with them. It almost seems humorous at times. The "Cosmic Joke" if you will. I still feel jittery today but less than yesterday. My blood pressure is up just a bit over it's usual. This day felt less overwhelming than the others previous days. If it's alright with my guide another day of this may help stabilize out my anxiety (it isn't, just don't know what to call it). You know best. Funny as write this, not for sure. You know best. This is an amazing journey!

Thank You
Scott

Yes, good idea, have a day of relaxed noticing, using - if you wish - the quote above to bring it to a focus.

Keeping the ball rolling nicely Scott - no-thing to achieve, no-where to get to, no-one to get there.

It unfolds at its own pace. You're in the front row. :)

Catch up soon,
John

[s-p-a-c-e]

Oh, and laughing is a great sign! :D It is really very funny. :)

[Jivaro]

Thanks! It's interesting, I'm a little disappointed. Still think it's best for just today. There is still a vibration in me but feels much smoother this morning. Waking up alert, happy, making jokes w/ the wife. I'm amazed & so is she. There are tremendous changes happening within. All in such a short time. The ball is going to keep rolling easily today. I'm going to keep the last assignment with me, like yesterday, to keep reminding "it's just a feeling".
I'll leave an evening report and will be ready for tomorrow's growth. Thank You so much John. It is good your my guide for now. Also a side note what is felt in me is a blend of tension/ anxiety. Obviously some part within me is a little shocked that no one is here now. Also you stated "the not knowing is a good place to be". I agree. I really know "Scott" has left the building. Have a good day.

Thanking You
Scott

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hey Scott,

Thanks! It's interesting, I'm a little disappointed. Still think it's best for just today. There is still a vibration in me but feels much smoother this morning. Waking up alert, happy, making jokes w/ the wife. I'm amazed & so is she. There are tremendous changes happening within. All in such a short time. The ball is going to keep rolling easily today. I'm going to keep the last assignment with me, like yesterday, to keep reminding "it's just a feeling".
I'll leave an evening report and will be ready for tomorrow's growth. Thank You so much John. It is good your my guide for now. Also a side note what is felt in me is a blend of tension/ anxiety. Obviously some part within me is a little shocked that no one is here now. Also you stated "the not knowing is a good place to be". I agree. I really know "Scott" has left the building. Have a good day.

Just keep gently exploring with kindness and warmth in the heart. :)

It will settle.

Speak soon,
John

[Jivaro]

The exploration continues. Yesterday I focused on emotions that came up for whatever reasons. I continued today with that in mind. Without mental choice I began to notice touch, taste, sight, etc. the senses. They are just senses, like feelings.. The question of what am I, then sometimes emerges. I don't know. This is the unknowing .
The jitters have slowed up considerably, blood pressure still elevated but coming down. This has happened to me before in some spiritual practices. It's is like a "Kundalini" energy within me gets rattled & starts bouncing around. At least that 's how it feels. The energy is settling down quicker than usual which is appreciated. It has crossed my thoughts if I'm not real, how can my body respond this way ? Are the blood pressure readings real? I'm not doubting . Just wondering. Suddenly over this week a wonderful world has revealed it's self & wonderment fills perceived self.

Each time "Scott" is felt, look directly at the feeling, and feel the feeling AS a feeling. To make this explicit you might even say, "I've been calling this feeling Scott - isn't it just a feeling?"

Information to help our journey. I can be somewhat ADD " my diagnosis" sometimes. So the explicit part really clarified the first part. It just seems sometimes words are tricky & confusing. The direct explicit usually downloads just fine :). Let's keep me rolling along.

Thank You
Nobody Really