Guide Available - Let's Have a Look, Shall We?

[jeronimo]

So basically USHA becomes completely non-existent

Yes!

even though this body-mind organism exists in this world physically!!

Yes... but recognize that body, mind, and organism are also concepts. Pointers to something. Body exists. Mind exists. Organism is a little more abstract. All exist. Not Usha.

Its not a REALITY at all and so none of the other labels I know are real like my brother, my mum.. they are all thoughts which I project on to other mind-body organisms…

Good. All labels, yes. But what is a projection? Thought. What is this "I" you are referring to that thinks and projects?

Typing is happening but after thoughts forming in my head and translated in to words

Typing is happening. How do you know that it's after thoughts that form in your head? Can you detail the moment a thought comes and then the typing comes? Does it really work that way... or is that how it seems before a closer look? Is it possible that the thoughts are taking ownership over the words that are typed in the instant that they are typed? Really look.

This might be an easier exercise:
Sit down and choose one of your arms. It doesn't matter which.
Then, when you're ready, raise the arm that you have chosen into the air.

Do this as many times as you want to.
You might say, 'I am controlling my arm and raising it into the air'.
This a thought - An idea of what is going on.

Now, examine the ACTUAL EXPERIENCE itself. Can an 'I' be found that is controlling the arm?
What is this 'I' that is causing the arm to raise? What can you find?

Really look here. Moment by moment analysis. When does the arm raise? Is there an "I" controlling it?
Spend the time and you will see.

at least for this action of typing I can’t see how its happening automatically and its making me frustrated…if I don’t think then I am typing mumbo-jumbo which even I can’t understand !!

Think of a heated discussion with someone. You just speak... argue... yell, even. Do you create a thought before every word that comes out of your mouth?

Worth a look.

I don’t feel that yet :( I am now understanding fear and thoughts and emotions but Actions still seem like they need a controller

Of course ... I was just poking you ;) Take your time. We're just getting into the juicy stuff.

You are on your way. You can see through the illusion of a separate Usha, but you haven't yet noticed that there is no controller. It's just happening. Life is just happening. The thoughts are there to take the credit... to keep you as a separate entity.

Keep looking.

I will be away until Sunday evening my time (Pacific Standard). I will be able to check back in then.

Wishing you clear seeing ... take your time... there is no rush... we'll get there when we get there!

Jeronimo

[Usha]

Hi Jeronimo,

Thanks for sharing your wonderful input and wisdom to help 'Me' see through this illusion :)

Good. All labels, yes. But what is a projection? Thought. What is this "I" you are referring to that thinks and projects?

‘I’ is a thought but one so ingrained in my psyche that its taken for granted as a real person ‘ME’ and seems to be projecting other thoughts but now its understood that like an onion which doesn’t have any centre after peeling all the layers, there is no ‘I’.. kind of sad but at least the Truth.. so the projecting is also just a succession of other thoughts and mental labeling. Mind just doing its function that its meant to do.

How do you know that it's after thoughts that form in your head? Can you detail the moment a thought comes and then the typing comes? Does it really work that way... or is that how it seems before a closer look? Is it possible that the thoughts are taking ownership over the words that are typed in the instant that they are typed?

I can’t detail the moment when thought comes and me typing because it seems like mind is rapidly forming thoughts around all my moves, like a running commentary…my actions seem to happen without mind but then thoughts forming around the action instantaneously making it seem as though they were planned but I can see nothing is planned in the mind prior to happening….and it’s the case with all exercises I have done in the past 2 days. Raising arm, scratching my face, going for a walk, watering the plants – all Actions happening automatically without a controller like Usha.. but in saying that one thought that comes up is no ‘I’ but certainly a healthy Brain to perform all these actions accurately.

Think of a heated discussion with someone. You just speak... argue... yell, even. Do you create a thought before every word that comes out of your mouth?

No, and this example really help me see that I certainly don’t think when I am angry and sometimes surprised at myself hearing what I have said! So certainly no ‘I’ but still a functioning brain to help me speak, right? Though I don’t directly experience brain.

Life is just happening. The thoughts are there to take the credit... to keep you as a separate entity.

Yups , life is happening , no controller that can be identified and this in itself is creating a feeling of lightness and peace as no ‘Me’ to be responsible for any mistakes or no ‘I’ to take charge of life! But then who is that, that is experiencing all of this wonderful life? Life experiencing life?

[jeronimo]

Hi Usha

Thanks for your patience. I'm back now... just a bit later than I expected. Thank you for looking and seeing what is true!

You've done an amazing job (no credit to "you" of course) ... please let me know how you have been feeling these past few days. It sounds like you maybe have taken that step through. What can you tell me about how things are now?

there is no ‘I’.. kind of sad but at least the Truth

Is it sad?

Only to the mind and thoughts that Usha was real...

Actions happening automatically without a controller like Usha.. but in saying that one thought that comes up is no ‘I’ but certainly a healthy Brain to perform all these actions accurately.

As you say below ... the brain is not experienced directly. So we see that actions are performed accurately... and automatically.

No, and this example really help me see that I certainly don’t think when I am angry and sometimes surprised at myself hearing what I have said! So certainly no ‘I’ but still a functioning brain to help me speak, right? Though I don’t directly experience brain.

Speaking is happening.

Yups , life is happening , no controller that can be identified and this in itself is creating a feeling of lightness and peace as no ‘Me’ to be responsible for any mistakes or no ‘I’ to take charge of life! But then who is that, that is experiencing all of this wonderful life? Life experiencing life?

Life is happening. That's about it! Who or what is experiencing it is beyond the scope of a conversation. Life experiencing life sounds pretty good to me. Maybe there doesn't need to be an experiencer or experienced.

There is just the play of life... with a powerful illusion of separateness between subject/object. But really, not space in-between. No subject. No object. Just life.

And, as usual, words tend to fall apart and fail when attempting to contain what is infinite and uncontainable.

Is there any doubt in what you've seen? Any place you feel stuck? Thoughts don't instantly disappear when seeing happens.

That Usha thing/structure/thought will still be looking for a home to attach to... but there is nothing there to stick to anymore.

Let me know!

Jeronimo

[Usha]

Hi Jeronimo,

Thanks for your excellent support and guidance that has made me realize the illusion of Self :)

Is it sad?

Its sad when you feel resistance to the fact of no Self but when completely accepted and embraced, its like nothing is lost because this is how its always been in Reality and so sadness is replaced with a feeling of relief of finally seeing the way it is!

As you say below ... the brain is not experienced directly. So we see that actions are performed accurately... and automatically.

Yeah, brain or whatever, life is displaying itself and functioning in various ways, there is no point in dwelling how life plays its games, the major point is there are no individual players.

Life is happening. That's about it! Who or what is experiencing it is beyond the scope of a conversation. Life experiencing life sounds pretty good to me. Maybe there doesn't need to be an experiencer or experienced.

Yes, life experiencing life sounds good :)

And, as usual, words tend to fall apart and fail when attempting to contain what is infinite and uncontainable.

Hmmmm.. only direct experience of the infinite can explain the infinite, words are just thoughts generated from the mind.

Is there any doubt in what you've seen? Any place you feel stuck? Thoughts don't instantly disappear when seeing happens.

No, there is no doubt that Usha doesn’t exist. Also no doubt in saying that no controller exists to make things/actions happen, they just happen spontaneously is clearly seen.

Yes thoughts don’t go away even after seeing this through. As if it was a test of some sort, just today I had a rough encounter with one of the persons at work where I was spoken to rudely and forced in to accepting something that I was uncomfortable with just to cover up someone else’s mistake. ( There are lots of 'I' s in this sentence and there is awareness of it but I guess this is just a figure of speech ;) Clearly, I resisted then but since then I have been having a constant stream of thoughts to find a way to deal with this problem. In the background , I am aware of my thoughts and how they are interfering with my direct experience but then there is a constant voice saying, if you don’t think about a solution, how will you solve this problem. So finally, a solution did come in my mind which will help me deal with this problem tomorrow at work. But in saying all that, firstly I feel like a failure in my search of the Truth because even after seeing it clearly, ‘I’ was not all calm and peaceful in the face of a problem. And secondly, I keep asking myself if I did not think then how would this solution come to me??

[jeronimo]

Hi Usha

Thanks for your excellent support and guidance that has made me realize the illusion of Self :)

It's my great pleasure!

sadness is replaced with a feeling of relief of finally seeing the way it is!

Yes... it's the "I" that thinks it's sad. Nothing is lost. Nothing has changed. Nothing true will ever be lost.

Yeah, brain or whatever, life is displaying itself and functioning in various ways, there is no point in dwelling how life plays its games, the major point is there are no individual players.

Yup, great.

Hmmmm.. only direct experience of the infinite can explain the infinite, words are just thoughts generated from the mind.

Yup, again. All this talk with words may have gotten us (all of the separate "I's" )into this mess. The "I" and possessive case makes things seem separate. Words are limited. Life is infinite. Direct experience of unity/oneness blows the words apart.

No, there is no doubt that Usha doesn’t exist. Also no doubt in saying that no controller exists to make things/actions happen, they just happen spontaneously is clearly seen.

Great!

As if it was a test of some sort, just today I had a rough encounter with one of the persons at work where I was spoken to rudely and forced in to accepting something that I was uncomfortable with just to cover up someone else’s mistake.

The mind has a way of wiggling and poking and testing us... wanting to have the thoughts of separateness believed in once again. Who was spoken to rudely? Who was uncomfortable?

there is a constant voice saying, if you don’t think about a solution, how will you solve this problem.

thaswaddimtalkingabout... "psst, Usha ... you've got a problem to take care of... forget what you've seen... danger here!" The mind. Not to worry, it won't stick now.

But in saying all that, firstly I feel like a failure in my search of the Truth because even after seeing it clearly, ‘I’ was not all calm and peaceful in the face of a problem.

Ok, firstly, WHO feels like a failure?
Calm and peaceful are not the only way of the world. Life undulating and moving as you into awareness could show up in so many ways. However, I think that calm and peaceful will become more the norm as things settle in. The settling in process could take a while.

And secondly, I keep asking myself if I did not think then how would this solution come to me??

Come on now ... how would this solution come to you?

It would just come to you... just like all the other thoughts.

Is there a thinker making the thoughts happen?
Did "you" solve this problem?
Dissect the whole situation and find where the controller was or wasn't.

Life can be intense... and you can figure your way out of many situations... but do "you" actually make/control/originate the figuring out happen, or does it just happen?

We're just sweeping up the fallen leaves now.

You're there. Tell me how you're feeling.

Love

Jeronimo

[Usha]

Hi Jeronimo!

Feeling completely at peace today unlike yesterday :)Things do have a way of taking care of themselves while the mind jumps up and down to take control when none is ever needed, see this so clearly now!

Who was spoken to rudely? Who was uncomfortable?

Can’t find anyone who was spoken to rudely or who actually acted rudely. Discomfort was a thought, annoyance at the other person was a thought and the other person herself is a non-existent character just like Usha who is trapped in a story and my mind wraps itself around that story to make it its own.. its just wild and crazy mind doing its antics to gain control.

thaswaddimtalkingabout... "psst, Usha ... you've got a problem to take care of... forget what you've seen... danger here!" The mind. Not to worry, it won't stick now.

Hahaha ..it seems so funny when you think about it that way !!

Ok, firstly, WHO feels like a failure?

Again a passing thought that a mind was quick to hold on to..but not for long :)

However, I think that calm and peaceful will become more the norm as things settle in. The settling in process could take a while.

That will be nice.. my mind thinks life as Me should take up meditation to calm its overexcited nature ;)

Is there a thinker making the thoughts happen?

That’s the only mantra I need to repeat when my mind gets flooded with thoughts to prevent loosing my Awareness in them.

Life can be intense... and you can figure your way out of many situations... but do "you" actually make/control/originate the figuring out happen, or does it just happen?

Yes, Yes, Yes!! Life is spontaneous and expresses itself freely without a Me.

We're just sweeping up the fallen leaves now.

Yups, cleaning up after my mess ;) lol !!

You're there.Tell me how you're feeling.

Thank you for telling me that because I wouldn't have believed it ! I am feeling very relaxed in the knowing that there is no Me to do anything. This is truly contentment and happiness I think!

[jeronimo]

Hi Usha

I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling at peace! Is there anything else that I can help you with?

At this point, we can finalize our little stroll together with six questions that will help the other guides put their stamp of approval on your liberation. A kind of booby prize... as there's no one to get or win anything anymore ;)

I'll give you the first three here. If you don't feel ready for them, just let me know and we can continue with whatever might not be clear. But if you're ready ... here goes:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Take your time... Whatever comes up.

With a Deep Bow

Jeronimo

[Usha]

Dear Jeronimo,
A deep bow to you for leading me to this revealation about the Truth and helping me see that for myself.
In regards to answering the questions , I will be able to do it on Sunday when I return from my weekend trip for which I leave tomorrow, so just busy in organizing for that tonite.
Deep gratitude for all your guidance.
Thank you :)

[jeronimo]

Of course, my dear. Take your time. There's no rush.

Enjoy your weekend trip!

J

[Usha]

Dear Jeronimo,

I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling at peace! Is there anything else that I can help you with?

Not really. I have no further questions :)

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there is no separate entity in objective reality as a Self or I . I is a collection of memories and habits that are bundled together in a thought that appears in the mind everytime an action is perceived. There is no controller which is normally thought of as I.

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Illusion of separate self is created by the mind and supported by the language. In every action a doer is implied, in every experience an experiencer and the object of experience is automatically believed to exist. But when looking keenly and letting all the knowing of the world fall of, in bare experiencing mode all there is, is just EXPERIENCE. All the nouns that make up different things in the world like Apples, Computers, Bike are just labels given by the brain to remember an experience of some kind. Seeing, hearing , touching, smelling and tasting constitutes all the experience and then each experience is categorised by the mind as positive, negative or neutral or remembered as separate objects mentioned above. But the object like an apple can only be described in words like red, round, hard, sweet and juicy and when these words are looked closely like red which is just a colour which is labelled by the mind after SEEING , it can clearly seen that all there is to an object is just experience which has been labelled by the mind. There is no way in which it can be said that there is an independent reality out there which is outside of experience because all we know of the world is through our sensory experience. So in short , there is no APPLE and then a seeing of an apple but just seeing, as seeing itself is then labelled as Apple by the mind. So same way there is no ‘My body’ but just experience, which is then labelled as Body and the thought ‘I’ connected to this body . All there is, is Experience, Feeling, Thoughts connected together by the mind but when no mind is applied, then these are just random happenings emerging and disappearing..

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels like ‘I’ finally get it! Difference is in perception, in the viewpoint of this ‘World’. Nothing is outside of experience and that’s just hitting me really to the core of my being. Ambitions , desires , emotions will be there or not there, who is there to care and for what? What is in the world like a low hanging fruit that I want to grab and enjoy, nothing really because after all its all experiences which pass , nothing stays because nothing is ever there! Its just a constant unfolding of various experiences leading to What? Who is there to know? But yes in saying all that, the conditioning snaps me back to thinking “don’t you look forward to your Christmas holidays” and mind says that’s a low hanging fruit that “ I am” really waiting to enjoy!!!

Lots of gratitude for shining the light on this path of self enquiry :)

[jeronimo]

Thanks, Usha

Gratitude back at you for walking through this with me :)

Here are your final three questions:

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How
does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Much Love

Jeronimo

[Usha]

Dear Jeronimo,

Lets wrap this up now, once and forever ;)

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I was already teetering on the edge of the cliff when the discovery of no-self or no-I happened.
But what really pushed me over was to clearly see that the objects experienced in every experience are nothing more than the actual experience and then name tagged by the mind to help recognize that experience in future encounter of the experience. But nothing to confirm that they actually exist outside of experience in like a ‘real’ world. What’s the definition of ‘real world’ when you can’t conceive anything outside your experience?? So that thought trail when further extended on to one’s own body , even that was reduced to only experience.. and that just unifies everything in to only Perception or Experience and that finally led me to deeply understand the meaning of the sentence I have read many times that all that is, is Consciousness or Experience!!

Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How
does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Decision or intention is a thought that comes to you like all thoughts come to you. Free will, choice and control are the traits that attach to the belief of ‘I’. When ‘I’ is seen through, no question of controller or free will arise. Even if it does arise, its just seen as a thought and not believed. There is no-one to be responsible for anything as everything is happening automatically in this infinite field of happenings/life and all that is happening is just being experienced or perceived in ‘Awareness’ ( name given by the mind as no words to describe this experiencer)
For example thinking and planning for the future is happening as thoughts in the present moment and it can never be confirmed that the experience is going to be the same as thoughts appearing now, so in a sense planning is a thought but has no effect on the actual happening. Also the longing to experience a particular experience in future is also a thought that appears in the Awareness now.

Anything to add?

Just subtracted everything from Life and now don’t want to commit an error in clear Experience of Life by adding anything to it ;)
Many thanks and lots of love and gratitude :)
Usha

[jeronimo]

Looks great, Usha. You are most welcome. Thank you for having a look ;)

I'll have some other guides take a look and get back to you soon.

Jeronimo

[jeronimo]

Hi Usha

I checked in with the guides and they have some further questions for you. Let me know if you have any questions about their questions. Here they are:

in this infinite field of happenings/life and all that is happening is just being experienced or perceived in ‘Awareness’ ( name given by the mind as no words to describe this experiencer)

Is there actually an experiencer present right now, in any shape or form at all? Or is there just experience?

also a thought that appears in the Awareness now

Do thoughts appear IN awareness, or AS awareness? Is this awareness you speak of some sort of container? If so where and what are the boundaries made of?

objects experienced in every experience are nothing more than the actual experience and then name tagged by the mind to help recognize that experience in future encounter of the experience

Have a look to what exists in your experience.
Can you find this mind you talk about? What can this mind do? Is mind a container of thoughts?

I is a collection of memories and habits that are bundled together in a thought that appears in the mind everytime an action is perceived.

it can clearly seen that all there is to an object is just experience which has been labelled by the mind.

How is it known that thoughts appear in the mind?
How is it known that the experience is labelled by the mind?
How the mind is experienced?


Take your time and let me know.

Jeronimo

[Usha]

Hi Jeronimo,

I have tried to honestly answer these questions, which led to more questions for me, hopefully I can get an answer to them..

Is there actually an experiencer present right now, in any shape or form at all? Or is there just experience

I can directly see that there is just experience but logic says that there is an experiencer somewhere to experience all this otherwise what’s the point to all of this?

Do thoughts appear IN awareness, or AS awareness? Is this awareness you speak of some sort of container? If so where and what are the boundaries made of?

We discussed this before that thoughts come to us and mind is not generating this as it was thought before but obviously it feels like thoughts appear IN the field of experience/ awareness.
Awareness has no boundaries and is not thought of like a container, its just like everything that experiences.

Have a look to what exists in your experience.
Can you find this mind you talk about? What can this mind do? Is mind a container of thoughts?

In my direct experience, all it is, is just experience of seeing, feeling, thoughts, tasting, smelling and hearing. I can’t fine the mind but isn’t that which does the labelling of all that is experienced and thus direct experience is hindered. If its not the mind then where does labelling or language come from?

How is it known that thoughts appear in the mind?

Thoughts appear in the Field or Awareness but don’t come from the mind, I don’t know where they come from. Where do they come from?

How is it known that the experience is labelled by the mind?

As I asked previously, if experience is not labelled by the mind then how does it get labelled and how do we come up with so much vocabulary to confuse us and how does the experiencing gets mistaken as a real objective world in the first place?

How the mind is experienced?

By seeing our mistake of labelling things as different objects instead of just seeing them as a sensory experience .

I know all these answers are contradicting the Truth about Non-duality where all is just one without any distinction of mind or experiencer and I understand that’s where you are trying to lead me but I am unable to feel that and these questions remain which make me stuck until I can logically understand their answers.

Thanks for your kind help :)



Take your time and let me know.

Jeronimo[/quote]