Hi Vince,
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
- There is no separate self and there never has been. Current science says that self is a construct that emerges from the activity of many areas in the brain.
2) "Describe your experience of the illusion of separate self, how it arises/disappears. Is that process always the same, or does it vary, and if so, how?"
- The illusion is experienced here as a feeling/sense that I, Robert, exist inside this body with the focus of awareness in the head behind the eyes. There is me in my body separate from everything and everyone else. It arises when there are thoughts about me, or related to me, and when experiencing memories or future concerns about me. The sense of self also arises during physical and emotional stress; when hungry, tired, fatigued, injured, embarrassed, "self"-conscious, or afraid.
The illusion is often not present when rested or preoccupied with some non-self related thought stream or activity.
The separate self may also be absent when "looking" to find it.
So, when the sense of self is noticed it may be temporarily released by simply looking for it.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
- there has been a mix of feelings during the last few days. Some anxiety about receiving and answering these 6 questions; there's been some resistance to answering them.
The illusion of a separate self has definitely been busted, although residual irrational doubt remains, along with the sense of self that I'm told will probably continue indefinitely.
There seems to be more confidence some of the time, along with less confidence at other times. When old ways of behaving and old ideas come into question I'm sometimes unsure what to do and I may second guess myself or try to make sense of the situation. What helps sometimes is remembering there is no me solving problems or making decisions the way I used to think I had to.
And remembering there is no self to be be self-conscious or self-confidant helps reduce anxiety, compulsive thinking and ruminating. Seeing that "my past" does not exist except as a memory, which is a mostly mistaken story, helps lighten the weight of guilt, shame, remorse and resentment; what a relief!
Seeing the future as a non existent projection largely based on the unreal past (just described in the last paragraph) helps reduce fear and anxiety.
At times lately there has been a bit more aggravation at some people close to me and at certain political groups and individuals and world affairs. Not sure what that's about.
There's plenty of discovery going on and plenty of enjoyment about that.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
- the BBC documentary "The Secret You" made the biggest impression, along with several other videos and articles about the science of "self". The other major factor in seeing was the repeated looking for what and where "me" was. There wasn't a strong belief that self was some kind of spirit, and it became clear that if self was the emergent property of brain activity, then it was not a substantive thing. Therefore, it could not have the power to act or directly cause action. It was essentially a thought. The person I took myself to be is not there, not real, an illusion. There isn't even an "I" to make that mistake.
Imagine a brain with plenty of areas lighting up from electrochemical activity. Then imaging those areas working together to project an image or a sense of self. Then imagine that process of the brain projecting the whole universe, the world, everything and everyone in it. And imagine not having a clue that any of this is happening…until you stumble across someplace like Liberation Unleashed and LOOK.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
- a couple of weeks ago I posted on this topic. My understanding on this hasn't changed much since then and I don't think I could say it much better than before. So here is the updated post with examples from experience:
There's no free will and no conscious decision making. So I don't/can't make decisions consciously. It's done by the brain outside of awareness. So why struggle to make decisions and solve problems? Maybe I should just give up the effort. But there is no "I", no "self", consciously effort-ing and no one to give it up by choice.
Also there's no freewill existing to make such a choice. It's made by the brain based on personal history, past conditioning and current circumstances. The accumulation of conditioning is ongoing right up to the current moment.
Given the exact same circumstances, an organisms choices/actions/responses will always be the same. But as time moves along, new circumstances add to the accumulation of conditioning such that the organism of this moment will be a slightly different organism than it was a moment before, making it possible for that organism to follow different choices made non-consciously by the brain.
There is no separate self, no one to make decisions or to be responsible for actions. You act based on genetic predisposition and personal history in response to current circumstances. There is no self, no you, to influence or control choices or actions. There is no freewill.
The individual acts according to those factors and then the brain creates a story/belief that you, the self, chose your decisions and actions. "You" are convinced that "You" did it.
Funny thing is that not only is the brain unconsciously deciding and controlling action but it is making up a non-existent "self/you"…and making up the story that you are in control.
It's not that the self is somehow lying about its abilities and actions. It's not bad. Rather it is completely fabricated by the brain. Seems the brain probably has some functional reasons for creating this elaborate ruse. It must serve some purpose, have some survival advantage. Everyone does it.
So then, when it comes to "to do or not to do", there really is no conscious choice to worry about. Nor is there even a choice whether or not to worry. You will do or not do as you are conditioned to do. There is no choice, no you to choose; y"You"cannot help it.
When it comes to "Liberation" there is no you/me to be liberated. Also no conscious choice can be made to seek liberation or how to act or even whether to act to seek liberation. It will flow or it won't.
An example from experience is as follows:
About 7 months ago I was following links from a string of websites when I came across Ruthless Truth and Liberation Unleashed. I devoured everything I could read including stuff from many other sources, but I put off getting a guide until several weeks ago. I thought I could liberate myself by self will and brute force through learning and practice. But doubts grew and there were lots of questions forming in my mind; and besides that I wanted to be able to join the Facebook groups of people who had seen through the illusion so I could find out what they were learning. I hesitated to post anything while I told myself I needed to find just the right guide. Finally, I took the first step, I got a guide and got busy.
Notice the story just told here contains a lot of I's and my's. Some of that is for convenience to tell the story. Some of it is because there was the belief that an I existed, owned and controlled a body, had desires, made decisions and directly controlled the actions that got me deliberately from beginning (surfing websites) to end (seeing through the illusion). And it was believed I did it all by choice through exertion of my free will. I was responsible for the fruits of my actions.
The truth is that there is no me to choose, desire, exert directed effort, exercise free will, liberate myself or be responsible. The whole story, from beginning to end was the result of prior conditions and current circumstances. "I" could not make liberation happen or prevent it from coming about.
Another example is about watching TV. I rarely watch tv but my wife watches quite a lot. I tend to feel superior to her about this issue because in my opinion most tv programming and especially commercials are at best a waste of time, at worst socially destructive and often generally offensive.
The story was that, after considered all of these factors, I made the decision not to watch tv. It would be more correct to say that the attitudes about tv formed passively over time, based on my temperament and information about tv programming that I had absorbed from other sources. There was no conscious decision to stop watching tv. Other things became more interesting to me and gradually the habit of doing those other things formed and replaced the tv habit. There was no conscious control over this change, free will was not involved; it came about because of temperament, prior conditioning and current circumstances. There is no "I" to be responsible for making a "better" choice; in fact it could not have been otherwise.
6) Anything to add?
- there were a lot of expectations I had when starting this investigation. The guide told me that expectations would likely interfere with work of seeing through the illusion of self. So I tried to let them go. It turns out that "I" could not directly let them go because the "I" is just a story and therefore has no power to make that decision or carry out that action. "I" has no control whatsoever. Change is initiated by, and happens at the level of, the unconscious brain. Bringing those expectations to awareness helped initiate the releasing process, but letting go happens, when it does, on it's own time. In fact it is clear that there are still expectations related to liberation that haven't been released. The biggest clue that expectations remain is the sense of disappointment and the feeling that I haven't gotten "it".
But the truth is that the goal of this investigation was to see through the illusion of the separate self. Happily, that illusion has been busted.
So now there are plenty of new expectations that it will be exciting, fun and fruitful as "I" progress beyond the gateless gate. Isn't it funny the way this brain works?
Thank You
