Hi Brant
Wow. I am very moved to read your last post. Thank you for this shared experience and this privilege.
I think the search is over Freddi. The shift is subtle but it has lasted...
I look for a doer and I can't find one... but it's different to before seeing 'the void' last night... prior to that it was more intellectual... now it's... quite simple... simple enough to be suspicious that it is that 'easy' or small a shift. This morning things flowed smoothly... watering the plants was a pleasure, my body shed a lot of tension (that was the relaxed feeling). Conditioning or 'thought tendencies' are still there... especially since I sat all day in front of a computer in analytical mode... so the 'flow' faded... but it doesn't take so much to look for a self and see there is none. Nor was there ever...
Maybe the process now is a bit of cleanup, tying loose ends etc. Whatever the case, I'm taking tomorrow off work and heading into the countryside to laze about and just watch things.
That’s beautifully put and I am reading a lot of clarity in your words now. Enjoy this watching. It's a permanent celebration.
What's next? - I'll have plenty of time to investigate things over the next few days.
What’s next? Well here is what I suggest. I ask you our usual summing-up questions, just to make sure we’ve covered all areas, then when we’re both happy with your answers, I’ll invite other guides to have a look to double-check. Once this process is over, I will invite you to join a couple of groups where ‘you’ and ‘others’ can share post-gate experiences. That does mean dealing with residual conditioning, habitual thinking etc. Seeing that there is no self is only a beginning. Now the real investigation begins, all thoughts are up for what Jed McKenna calls ‘spiritual autolysis’, or self-digestion. What is true? What is actually happening, here and now, etc. I can recommend you some reading too and we can continue to work together in another part of the forum dedicated to this.
Here are the questions, take your time. No rush. Remember to answer from what is alive in ‘you’ right now, your direct experience.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?
I look forward to your answers, Brant.
Warm wishes
Fred
