Looking for a guide

[Long]

I am looking for someone to help me see through the illusion clearly, and also I want to ask what's next. I can see that thoughts pop up in my head, and I don't know which one will appear and similarly, actions just follow appropriately in a situation that I have no idea that they will appear. A thought in my head saying this whole thing is strange, like a paradox, and wondering what to do next, although it's an illusion that I can do something. In fact, the action of asking this, and the thought "I don't know what to do" just happen by itself. The thoughts say "I am getting crazy thinking about this", and " I got headache", " what is the attitude toward this", " what I am supposed to do", although nothing I can do, and " I'm very confused"

[Bezuda]

Hey. I'm here to guide you.

Tell me a bit about your story before we start.

Hug.

[Long]

Thanks. I am a student, 25 years old. I have been reading some philosophical texts recently, like Adyashanti, Krishnamurti, or some topics in here. It occurred to me couple of days ago, that I didn't know which of my thoughts would happen next, and also the actions. When I type these words, they just appear out of nowhere, and I don't know which words will come next. When I am typing this, there are other thoughts appear too.

[Bezuda]

Ok. Strip all expectations. What is 'I' , 'self' , 'me' ?