Looking for DianaM for guidance.

[inseyedoubt]

Here's where I am in this process: I have seen that "I" does not exist, never has, never will. I don't feel like I need as much pointing as I need encouragement. I am feeling like since seeing through the illusion, life, specifically work has gotten unusually stressful.

I work at an elite salon and spa and we have a new receptionist who has been booking me over the max! I've been under a huge amount of stress with this work situation. This body is exhausted. I feel like the past week I have selfed out. I know I've seen enough to never forget that this is all an illusion, but it's so easy to get caught up in it again. This is normal right?

When first the mind sees through the llusion, the psychological identity puts up a fight and uses every trick to prevent you from discovering your real nature. <----That pretty much describes my past week.

Sent from my VK810 4G using Tapatalk

[DianaM]

Hi Jenny,

You mention a lot of stress, when this stress comes look closely at it, what can you find?

Don't run from it, stay with it and face it fully.

-Are there any physical sensations?
-Are there any emotions you can identify?
-Can you find any thoughts that come with this stress?
-Can you detect any resistance to seeing this "i" as an illusion?
-Anything else you can observe about this stress?

No a story cannot be controlled. It doesnt show signs of stopping as of now. I guess that depends on if i believe in it.

How is a thought believed?

No there is no separation. All is.

Can you explain more about this as you see it now?

just to let go and fall and trust the proccess.

how do letting go happens?

When first the mind sees through the llusion, the psychological identity puts up a fight and uses every trick to prevent you from discovering your real nature. <----That pretty much describes my past week.

What is the psychological identity? is that any form of something separate? What is this real nature?

I know I've seen enough to never forget that this is all an illusion, but it's so easy to get caught up in it again. This is normal right?

That is normal, the focus of this investigation is to see that this “i” is nothing but an illusion. We have some facebook groups where you can share with “others” who had experienced this SEEING too.

Your answers sound very clear already, so now I will plainly ask you. Have you SEEN that there is no separate “i” in reality? Have you seen it beyond intellectual understanding or thought about it?

Is there a separate “i”?

[inseyedoubt]

So many questions, where do I begin...

There is no stress now to be observed. Next time that happens I will keep those questions in mind.

How is a thought believed?

I guess it cannot. Belief is just another thought.

No there is no separation. All is.
Can you explain more about this as you see it now?

As soon as I try to think of the words to describe it, it becomes a label. But I will try...I am an animal like any other animal on this planet, I am not a superior being that is separate or better claiming ownership to anything. And we are all apart of the movement that is life.

how do letting go happens?

When the illusion has been seen through, a need or drive to control or maintain a certain story is no longer needed. Letting go naturally occurs. It is not something that is controlled nor can it be strived for either.

What is the psychological identity? is that any form of something separate? What is this real nature?

A symptom of having an evolved human brain. The natural instinct for survival, usually learned at a young age. Conditioned habits, behaviors learned and natural responses for basic survival. It is the form in which we respond/interact with people without knowing why or how we do it. It's like a computer program...it is not any form of something separate, and it has no real nature.

Have you SEEN that there is no separate “i” in reality? Have you seen it beyond intellectual understanding or thought about it? Is there a separate “i”?

I have SEEN. There is nothing that is separate. All is as it should be and "I" am not in control of anything because "I" does not exist, never has, never will. The "I" simply is not there when you look for it. There is nothing to fear because there is nothing to lose, because nothing was ever owned. I can recognize when the labeling happens, and the thoughts spin their web of a story. I don't have to identify with it anymore. There is no "my story" because there never was a "me". I see that there are memories and emotions that will still come up, but I no longer call them MINE. I guess the best way to describe it is, I used to see things at a myopic level (nearsighted) now I see everything illuminated and from a larger all encompassing perspective. I see the flow of life and it flows through everything.

[DianaM]

Hi Jenny,
Great answers!

There is no stress now to be observed. Next time that happens I will keep those questions in mind.

ok, report it when you find any stress related to seeing through the illusion of the "i".

"A symptom of having an evolved human brain. The natural instinct for survival, usually learned at a young age. Conditioned habits, behaviors learned and natural responses for basic survival. It is the form in which we respond/interact with people without knowing why or how we do it. It's like a computer program...it is not any form of something separate, and it has no real nature. "
"As soon as I try to think of the words to describe it, it becomes a label. But I will try...I am an animal like any other animal on this planet, I am not a superior being that is separate or better claiming ownership to anything. And we are all apart of the movement that is life."

Well observed!! Then can you see that life needs no separate beings to happen?

I have SEEN. There is nothing that is separate. All is as it should be and "I" am not in control of anything because "I" does not exist, never has, never will. The "I" simply is not there when you look for it. There is nothing to fear because there is nothing to lose, because nothing was ever owned. I can recognize when the labeling happens, and the thoughts spin their web of a story. I don't have to identify with it anymore. There is no "my story" because there never was a "me". I see that there are memories and emotions that will still come up, but I no longer call them MINE. I guess the best way to describe it is, I used to see things at a myopic level (nearsighted) now I see everything illuminated and from a larger all encompassing perspective. I see the flow of life and it flows through everything.

Great observing, have you seen all of this directly? it sounds very clear!! Now please read this list, slowly and line by line and then tell me if you still have any doubt about any of them that you want us to look at. Notice also the emotions and physical sensations that may arise when reading each line.

Is the i the thinker of thoughts?
Is the i the feeler of feelings?
Is the i the doer of actions?
Is the i the this body you see when you look at the mirror?
Is the i the brain or any other organ in the body?
Is the i the body or the owner of this body?
Is the i the decider or controller of “your life”?
Is the i the owner of “your life”?
Is the i the experiencer of experiences?
Is the i something real behind language, something else than the 9th letter of the alphabet?
Is the i something real behind a language label?
Is the i your emotional reactions?
Is this i the observer making this investigation happen or the seeker that started it?
Is the i the hearer of sounds, the looker behind these 2 holes in your head, the taster of flavors, the smeller of smells, what experiences the texture of what is touched?

What could you notice after reading the list? Are you clear about all these points? Is there any of them you want to clear out? Is there anything else you want to observe? If everything is clear about this, are you ready for some summary questions? Take the time you need to answer this and do it with total honesty.

[inseyedoubt]

Ok!! I have printed off these questions and will sit with them today. I am off today and will probably respond back to you soon, since I have adequate time. Thank you Diana!

[DianaM]

That's ok Jenny!!

No need to rush, reply when you're ready. Have a nice day off!

[inseyedoubt]

I sat with these questions this morning and honestly have not had anything come up. But I will continue to sit with them throughout the day, in the mean time if you want to send me the summary questions I will have this whole day to sit with them too. My work week begins tomorrow, so I may not get back to you promptly after that. I usually have things that fill up my day off but today I literally have nothing to do but laundry haha so I am going to sit on my porch and relax!

[DianaM]

Hey Jenny!

I couldn't reply earlier, busy day!
Anyway, here are the questions, there is no hurry to answer them today. The answers can be as long as you require. You can answer them one by one, two each day, all together or as you prefer. Remember to write your reply to my last post too.

Have a nice day!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

[DianaM]

Hi Jenny!

How are you doing with the investigation? Did you see my last replies?

Did the stress came back? could you observe it?

In the mail from june 9th i sent you a list and asked you to look at the list, you replied:

I sat with these questions this morning and honestly have not had anything come up. But I will continue to sit with them throughout the day,

Did you check my reply from that day again? Did you had anything come up about the questions later? is there something else you want to comment about my reply from that day before we move on to the summary questions?

How did you feel about the 6 summary questions I sent you in the last post? feel free to ask if something about them is not clear and remember not to try to solve them intellectually.

[inseyedoubt]

Hi Diana! I am so sorry, I knew I was headed up against a very busy week and it was that indeed! I have not had a chance to sit and answer the summary questions just yet, I have been observing with them in mind though. I have a little time to myself right now so I am going to do that now. : ) I will write back with what comes up. Thank you for your patience!

[inseyedoubt]

In answer to the series of “I” questions, “no” to all of the above.

What could you notice after reading the list?

I just noticed how freeing these questions can be. Simple yet powerful! Great questions!

Are you clear about all these points?

Yes.

Is there any of them you want to clear out? Is there anything else you want to observe?

No, all clear!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there simply isn’t! Never has been and never will be!

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Simply a phenomena of the brain. A trick of the mind. Layers of thoughts that build beliefs that form a false sense of identity. Years of conditioning. It feels like an invisible veil that comes down over experience. A filter/lens through which we believe we experience and control our life through. It simply is not there. It is as if I have lived my whole life through this narrow point of view. Stifled by this thing that does not even exist! It’s crazy! And there is no "me" to experience it either!!

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels liberating! Freeing! I don’t own any of this! Never have! Before, I was identified with “my story of me”. But now I simply just “am” or "am not" lol, and looking back on memories, that’s all they are. Memories. They are not “me”, not even “mine”. How can I own anything when there is no "me" to own it. So now I can keep doing what I have always been doing but now it’s only a little bit different. Just enough to make a huge difference though!

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Truly looking at the DE. That is the best way!

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Just like the illusion of self, there is illusion of control. There is nothing that is in control. Especially not “me”! Haha! Everything is fluid, like time. We all think it is linear when it is not. Everything is in movement together. Nothing is separate. I don’t know what makes things happen, they just do! I am not responsible for any of it! I don’t make this body breath in and out, there’s just breathing happening. I don’t choose to move this hand to this mouth and chew this food, there is just eating happening and whole lot of other things too!

6) Anything to add?

Nope : )

[DianaM]

Hi Jenny,

It looks like you are over with the the series of “I” questions, i can see that is clear, so now let's move on to the summary questions. Your answers are clear, now i will ask for more details about some points.

Question 3

So now I can keep doing what I have always been doing but now it’s only a little bit different. Just enough to make a huge difference though!

Could you explain more about this difference?

Question 4

Truly looking at the DE. That is the best way!

How did you look at this before and after truly looking at DE?

Question 5

Just like the illusion of self, there is illusion of control. There is nothing that is in control. Especially not “me”! Haha! Everything is fluid, like time. We all think it is linear when it is not. Everything is in movement together. Nothing is separate. I don’t know what makes things happen, they just do! I am not responsible for any of it! I don’t make this body breath in and out, there’s just breathing happening. I don’t choose to move this hand to this mouth and chew this food, there is just eating happening and whole lot of other things too!

-Describe free will and explain more about choice.
-Please explain the examples from experience in more detail.

[inseyedoubt]

Could you explain more about this difference?

It’s just an awareness. A knowing, a seeing that is hard to explain. That’s the difference. Like when things come into focus through a lens and you see all the same things you did before but just differently. Clearer, sharper.

How did you look at this before and after truly looking at DE?

I'm sorry, I don’t understand this question.

Describe free will and explain more about choice.

There is no “self” or "me" in charge so there is no one to choose or decide anything.

Please explain the examples from experience in more detail.

There are so many things happening all at once, in a universal movement, so to think that “I” am making anything happen, down to the tiniest detail of anything that this body does, is just crazy! I don’t really know how to explain anything else any further, words cannot describe! : )

[DianaM]

Hi Jenny,

I'm sorry, I don’t understand this question.

Ok i will explain it better.

the question was:
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
you said:
Truly looking at the DE. That is the best way!

I will reformulate the question:
How did the shift happened to looking at direct experience? And what is the difference between looking as it was before and truly looking at DE? (if you need more explanation about it, feel free to ask).

You are clear that SEEING happened and your answers are clear to me. While you answer this question, i will ask other guides to check your reply to the summary questions and see if they want to ask something else. This may take a day or two. After you answer their questions (if any) you will be invited to join the facebook groups that will give support after this thread concludes.

[inseyedoubt]

How did the shift happened to looking at direct experience? And what is the difference between looking as it was before and truly looking at DE? (if you need more explanation about it, feel free to ask).

Before, I looked with the mind. It was an intellectual knowing, instead of a "seeing". Now I just look. Raw looking. I thought I was looking before but I wasn't.

Ok thank you Diana (((((hugs)))))