How does this actually work- in the absolute sense?
There is no choice or control in the absolute sense as all choices lead to experience regardless of what was chosen.

What is really going on?
Life is living/experiencing through us.


Make it as down-to-earth and concrete as possible- when ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no "I" or self any where and there never was.


2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ...

Yes please.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. The "therefore" strikes me as odd. What is the I that is happening? Describe that I in detail. What is the I-ness of that I? What makes it a self?
You don't miss much do you :). It was supposed to be a longer argument where I was going to equate I and ...

Hi!

Here's a start to the week :-\, Sleepless night 1, Ali 0.


What would "slipping back" consist in, exactly? Was anything gained that can be lost again? Has anything been added?


It was meant in terms of slipping back with previous behaviors/habits with which you disagree. Then again, what's ...

Hi Ali, had a good weekend? How is everything going? What about that paradigm shift- still there or did you slip back? ;-)

Yes thank you. I took your advice and went for a test drive over the weekend. I have calmed down a lot after that initial trauma :). The skeptic says that slipping back is a ...

Beep beep ;-)

I was afraid of that :) but I was coming from direct experience as much as possible so went ahead with it.

Right now, where is awareness? What is it? Is there such a thing as awareness?

[/quote]
I am awareness. Awareness just is.

What is the actual difference between "being in the present moment" and "not being in the present moment"?
Thank you for your questions, Damon. We are covering new ground (for me) with every one of these.

Being in the present moment is when awareness is aware of itself. There are no thoughts, or ...

How does it feel to see this?
Everything feels different and still everything is the same. Like someone's wearing dirty spectacles and then cleans them and wears them back. I am more aware in the present moment. There is no continuous struggle to do this, do that and don't do this, don't do that ...

Fascinating! Judging by what you write something has definitely shifted... Can you describe what happened?

Part of the following is going to be a rant, I opologize in advance. I am still going to use "I"; communication would be awkward without it.

I don't know what happened. It seems nothing ...

Hi Damon,

There was a pretty big paradigm shift by the end of the last post. I was barely coherent at the time. A lot of things that baffled earlier make sense now. I guess we need to figure out if this is real or more delusions.


How is that possible? How can an illusion do anything?

The mind ...

What is being defended here?
The illusion of the self. Who is defending it? The illusion itself?

So there is a consciousness, or consciousness itself on this side that is able to have or not have an identity?

Consciousness itself is able to have or not have an identity. But consciousness ...

This indicates you are on the right track. Keep looking, keep an open space around this feeling of anxiety, this uneasiness, this funny feeling. Allow it here completely. Experiment some more with this and keep the focus on the question- what is I ?

So, I continued with "What is I?" in a ...

That seeing of course informs thought and the conceptual, but it is a non-conceptual, visceral knowing that we are pointing to here.
This! This is just awesome. I have had enough of concepts :)

Stay with this sensation for a bit. Examine it fully, completely. Can you describe it in more detail ...

I have been thinking about your first three questions and by thinking I mean talking in my head about them in words and sometimes using images. I am mentioning this because I doubt if this is the direct experience.


What is the I that is here to loosen a hold?
What is the I that is holding on to ...