Hi Xain,

It feels like this process is somehow contuing by itself at the moment.

I know I haven't been given anything but I feel much richer than before we had this conversation.

Will get back about facebook. Any advice you might have would be appreciated.

Best wishes H

Isn't the narrator just a story as well?

Yes, there is no narrator.

Could you tell me what you mean here by 'narrator of events', 'narrator of experience'?

The natural impulse to share experience, requires using words and concepts to communicate, to tell a story. The narrator of experience is like the I narrator in a fiction, that presents the story usually as ...

Surely the idea of a controller is just a thought appearing?
I have to ask, 'Gets in the way of what'?

If the thought is believed it gets in the way of seeing and responding.

Ok, thanks Xain. Where I have written awareness could be read as awareness/love.

What was born? As you say, there wasn't an 'I' that chose birth. But then, what was created at birth? Was there a birth of anything?

After thoughts died down I realised that that at birth there is a coming together of conditions crystallising in a unique pattern, a streaming of events, unfolding ...

Your answer is a little woolly. Is there not a definite answer here?
Is there an 'I' who choose to think in a specific way?

Thanks Xain, that question has really stirred something. A storm of thoughts, then an upwelling of emotion. It's clear that there wasn't a me that chose to be born, chooses ...

Also want to add, thank for being there to do this, or should I say virtually being there;-)

Say someone had never heard of this 'illusion of separate self'.
How would you explain it to them. How did this illusion start, and how does it work?

The illusion of self starts with us trying to make sense of life. We learn to name things, cat, you , me etc. This is useful in order to ...

What was the last bit (if any) that pushed you over, made you look?

Not sure there was any one thing. I had been meditating more than usual, paying attention to bodily movements and sensations, to hearing, seeing, to thoughts arising, with the question is there anyone doing any of these. I ...

Hi Xain, here is a response to your questions

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no seperate entity called self found apart from experiencing, except as a thought, or an interpretation of experience, a sort of ...

Xain, just when I am adapting to there being no self, now your trying to tell me there's no santa claus :-)

I might need a bit more time to take that in.

Just wanted to add that although I might not feel in a hurry with this process, I realise that you are giving freely of your time and I don't mean to take that for granted.

Best wishes H

Hi Xain,

Somehow I don't feel in a hurry to move to the final questions but would rather allow things to unfold in their own time.

One thing that makes me hesitate is that I'm not sure categories of existing or not existing are quite the right language to talk about experience. They seem to fall ...

Hi Xain,

I seem to need a lot of time to not hink about this and paradoxically a lot of time to answer 'right now'


we are looking for this 'I', this 'me'. Can you find one?

No, have not found a me who is experiencing, thinking, investigating.

Is there an 'I' looking? Is there a 'me' entity ...