Hi Magdalena,

I am traveling over the next couple of days.

Please let me respond in a couple of days when I have reached my destination and have more time.

Thank you,
Derrick

Hi Magdalena,

You say
I need to keep my attention on the present experience.
Who exactly is managing this? Who is shifting? Who is making sure to stay in DE? Look right now — who is doing that? Yes, It's the "I" program hijacking things. Omg, this is crazy! It's like AI.
Or is that just one ...

Hi Magdalena,

I apologize for the gap.

You see there’s no experiencer. Correct. When I look for one, I find nothing. When I look for who's looking, I also find nothing or emptiness.

You see that any label put on the experience itself is just thought stuff. Yes, I see this.

So tell me: what’s ...

Hi Magdalena,

You say
experiencing within a field of spaciousness.
But look: is there actually a field, or is that just another subtle way to hold onto a "something" instead of letting everything collapse? I am not sure. When I look inside for an experiencer of the direct experience, there is ...

Hi Magdalena,

Thank you for your explanation again.
Today was a bit busy.
Please let me experiment with this and respond tomorrow.

Thank you,
Derrick

Hi Madgalena,

Okay, so there some things going on:

1.) Experiencing is happening with on real identifiable self - just emptiness/spaciousness experiencing or awareness of various things and no labeling/no words, just experiencing, mostly quiet experiencing.

2.) The mental labeling of the "I ...

Hi Magdalena.

Sounds neat. Sounds clean. Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.
Lol

But is that actually what’s happening right now, or are you just narrating another polished non-dual answer? a lot is happening..an unending streams of things that grab attention - humming sounds from IT ...

Hi Magdalena.

You'd make a perfect non-dual poet, you know that? lol Why, thank you!

Look closely — is this what is actually happening, or is that just another beautiful-sounding thought which adds meaning where there is none? No, this continuous unfolding feels like it has always been this way ...

Hi Magdalena,

— but what exactly has brought "you" here? Life.

Is there some force guiding things, or is that just another thought tying everything into a neat little story? No force guiding things, but the unfolding of life appears to have a direction to it and/or an intelligence. It does not ...

Hi Magdalena.

You say "awareness can be directed"—but by what? Look right now—is there an actual "director," or is that just another story appearing, claiming control? When I look again for the director, I find only the jumble of stories again...no director, just a story of a director. Just ...

Hi Magdalena.

You say you'll explore the "source" of thought tomorrow. But who is going to do that?
Yes, there is a habitual thought of a doer that does things. And when I look for the doer and I find an emptiness in which sensations, feelings, thoughts, intentions, etc appear/come into awareness ...

Hi Magdalena.

Today was again busy. I will have a little more time tomorrow to explore these further. Especially this first two questions about sources.

Look closely: is there really a source, or is that just a habit of looking for one?
Do thoughts need a source? Does anything actually need a who ...

Hello Magdalena,

Thank you again for your assistance. I just want you to know that I appreciate your help.

You say the “I” flares up when interacting with others — so what exactly is happening there? Is there an actual shift back into a real self, or just thoughts claiming ownership of what’s ...

Hi Magdalena,

You see that “I” only exists in stories. You see that confusion, actions, and decisions just show up. You even laugh when you stop looking for answers. Those experiences were seen and felt yesterday and it feels like the mind is still adjusting to them. When I stopped looking for an ...

Hi Magdalena,

My responses are below. Today (Friday) was busy for me but I will have more time tomorrow (Saturday) to dive deeper into what is coming up for me from looking at what you've written.

Confusion. Business. Calm. Breathing. Sounds. All appearing, disappearing— no problem. But tell me ...