Dear Elad

Thanks you so much for your message. Sorry now to be so late in acknowledging it... honestly Ive not done much other than stare out of the window for the last 2-3 days. ... no screens...

Thank you so much for your perseverance and thanks to LU for even existing.... When I came to LU, I ...

2) Please describe this ‘feeling’ from direct experience.
looking carefully, its not there in direct experience.

Sorry, to be clear, I had muddled direct experience (where there was no feeling of provisionality) with thought (where there was)

Such good questions... its been helpful to address them!

1) Who or What is feeling provisional or not feeling provisional regarding any sort of sense of ‘completeness’?
What's 'owning' the provisionality??
Since dropping the illusion of self, 'seeing' remains in terms of entities rather than ...

fine, thanks Kate

Q. Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now....
.... YOU: Not sure I understand this.... Thinking and talking continues normally, there is a functional sense of self, but is it believed ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no separate entity 'self/me/I..' not in any way... and never was.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own ...

Let me know if you feel ready to receive these or if there is something you want to ask about before.

I have nothing to ask (at the moment!) .... new territory

Up for your 'check point questions' ... thanks

Write again soon, let me know how things move.

A good day yesterday 'out in the wild' with people and complexity

Not much analysing going on, but the journey seemed oddly straightforward... despite slow busses and a missed train... and the conversations spontaneous, no strategising. ....

lovely

Much of the [ast day or two staring about feeling 'full up', amazingly same-but-different

'selfing' thougts do pop up but are not at all sticky.... much more engrossed in how 'competent' bodies are and the play of wind and rain (England, after all). And 'I'm' perky, delighted...

Noticing sometimes ...

Check: When selfing happens, is there actually a separate self? Or just thoughts about self being believed? And when selfing drops, is there a separate *absence* of self? Or just experience, raw and full?


No gate!!!

sorry to be so monosyllabic, dont know what to say just now

except THANKS SO ...

Look at that feeling right now. Not the thoughts *about* it, but the raw sensation. Where is it? Is it tension? A subtle unease? A flicker of doubt?

Yes exactly... flickers ... tension

Now, see if that feeling can be maintained *without thoughts maintaining and explaining it*. Can it?

No ...

Thanks for all this!

nstead of doing something, just watch this play out. See if there is ever any direct evidence of a continuous, stable self—or only thoughts that claim ownership after the fact.
Definitely no continuous stable self!

However... and sorry to be pedantic...
Is the best advice 1 ...

Kate, you're seeing something key—thoughts arise, but they don’t need a "someone" to belong to. Even the thoughts that feel like they come from outside—do they arrive to anyone, or do they just show up as part of the flow?

Two things:: FIrstly I agree that thoughts don't need to belong to a 'me ...

No need to rush this. Let’s just sit with what’s here.

Assumptions... There is someone who should have been in control.
- There is someone who failed.
- There is someone who now feels bad about it.
What if this “trapped” feeling isn’t proof of a self, but just a habitual loop—a belief that ...

Sorry about the pause... grandchildren have just left.... Ive had a few frustrating days of trying to control the household ..and myself ... and failing and feeling bad .... A situation that I think/believe that not investing in a 'self' would improve...(I can hear you pulling me up on my ...