HI, thanks for the update. Am interested in continuing and being involved.

Thank you for guidance:)

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

These are all illusions. It is most strong around impulsivity. For example, when sugar is craved ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

Nope. None. Very clear now. This has always been known somehow.


2) Give in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your ...

Are you happy with what you found? What has changed, what hasn’t changed in normal everyday life?


I have found nothing, literally. Experience is different now, things are not taken as personal, things flow through, like emotion, more easily, it is all strange, that I never was, never am, never ...

More thoughts and moods, arisings, and right, who is having them, no one, yet something happens. If there’s no I there’s no involvement, no stake, life happening just to happen, at times this feels wonderful and connected at other times achy.

Great question. Attention. The "I" believes it can direct attention, when observed directly (which seems to be action of attention), that happens also, another impersonal arising that happens, part of "something is happening." When you say, "be with your senses", "I" seem to follow what you say, and ...

Now, I recommend to you a walk in a park and enjoy what is going on then describe what is seen, heard, smelt, tasted, sensations. The first trial : describe it as you are used to do it. The second trial : describe it without using "I".

First: I see the trees, the ocean, I feel the sand underneath ...

Thank you for your guidance.

Yes. Have you seen this or is it an intellectual conclusion ?

This me is a fantasy. I have seen to be true and experience it as true. There seems to be a habit of self-referencing, but it no longer has any weight.

Yes, they are the same "no thing". It is not a ...

What is "me" in your answer. Look at it and describe it.

Does "what is happening" need you to happen ?

The me is a fantasy.



Are sensations separate from the knowing of them ? Look

Are thoughts separate from the knowing of them ? Look


Well shit, mind blown. The knowing/being aware of ...

Without me, that is.

Something is happening, and it seems to be happening with me but it seems to keep happening.

Real. Don’t know what is real. Thoughts are not. All can be experienced as sensations.

No past or future outside of thoughts.

When meditating today I saw how the thought came in after an experience, it was really something. I recognized how the “I” tried to claim something that happened independently. That was powerful.

What is real?

Yes, a stubbed toe and pain are one, even two different concepts are used : do you see this ? The same with a tooth pain or a body running.

Only my mind divides them up, yes I see this. I do see that cause and effect are thoughts.

Seems like you keep saying the same thing: Thoughts are unreal ...

I did the exercise again, laying on the floor for thirty minutes. Mind settles, I'm with sensation, formlessness, then mind comes back in, again and again. Here is a question: It does seem like I am efforting to keep attention on sensations. When it moves away, I catch it at some point, and move it ...