Hi Vivien,

Thank you so much. I want to express a deep admiration and gratitude for what you have done for me. I couldn’t have done it without your guidance. You are an excellent guide. You’re kind, patient, and I especially appreciated your no-nonsense approach. At times pointing me firmly to that ...

Got it, thank you!

Cal

Hi Vivien,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
No, all there is are thoughts/thought patterns that talk about an I. “I should be more like this”, “Why do I always feel like such”, etc. It was used to believe that those ...

Hi Vivien,

Right, that sounds like good advice. Looking forward to doing that.

And yes, I'm ready!

Cal

Hi Vivien,

Tell me what's left of Cal. When checking reality, does he still exist?
There is nothing left. It’s not that something is gone that was there before, but rather that what was used to be believed as Cal is no longer believed. There are only thoughts about a self, but it was used to ...

Hi Vivien,

Would you say that there has been a shift from an intellectual understanding of there being no separate self to an experiential recognition of it?
Yes. There were several flip-flops before, but this one has not flopped back in several days now.

If yes, could you tell when did this ...

Hi Vivien,

Thoughts are happening on their own. But is there anything that is not happening on their own?
No, I can’t really think of anything. Like thoughts, actions are also happening by themselves.

What is the difference between doing and happening?
There is none. Difficult to explain, but ...

Hi Vivien,


And what about selfing thoughts? Are selfing thoughts are done (thought) by a Cal, or they are also just happening?
Just happening. Paid attention to it throughout the day and there was never any moment where there was doing. Just the continuous, spontaneous telling of the thought ...

Hi Vivien,

My answers may seem a bit short this time. Not because I didn’t look carefully, but because everything was seen quite clearly.

“Dear Cal, this is a pure speculation. Instead, let’s see what is actually happening. Slowly count… 1.. 2… 3… 4….”
Can you REALLY know in advance what the next ...

Hi Vivien,

Can you know what is going to be your next thought before it appears?
Do everything you can to know your next thought before it appears.
It’s funny because I think I found a way to be able to the predict the next thought. For example when thought is counting: 1, 2, 3, 4…. Then by the ...

Hi Vivien,

What do you do exactly in order to think?
I tried to look this from different angles. For example by doing a mental task like: How many male names with a J do you know? John, James, Jones, etc. Or divide 164 by 3 etc. To check how thinking is done. I realized that thinking happens, but ...

Hi Vivien,

Thanks again for your insightful comments and questions. I feel I need to take a bit more time with these, but I'll get back to you tomorrow.

All the best, Cal

Oops, I accidentally gave my real name in the post (Giel, it's Dutch for Cal). Not a big deal. But when I tried to edit it, I replied with quote. Couldn't find an edit button.

Hi Vivien,

This is what did today:

What is it that is saying ‘I am still not gone”? What/who is making this statement?
There was looking again for quite some time and a large structure of thoughts, beliefs, and expectations were seen that are telling the Cal story. No evidence whatsoever could ...

Hi Vivien,

This is what did today:

What is it that is saying ‘I am still not gone”? What/who is making this statement?
There was looking again for quite some time and a large structure of thoughts, beliefs, and expectations were seen that are telling the Cal story. No evidence whatsoever could ...