Oh man....just typing this all out set things in even deeper. I'm watching a body type. I so thought this was me. lol I completely see why silence is the only truth....even then, it's sort of like truth's shadow. It misses the mark. Thank you for this Bananafish....so much searching. What a relief.

Hi again! Regarding the free will part,
could you give examples from your daily life?


Sure, I am sitting on the couch right now, looking at a laptop. A sensation of a dry mouth is felt. One could say that I am faced with the decision to get up and get a glass of water or to remain seated ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ufully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see ...

Can you clearly say that you have seen through the
illusion of separate, concrete self?

Is there anything you want to explore further?




So clearly that it scared me! This was a beautiful experience, thank you--it definitely got me through the weeds that I had been stuck in. There's so much ...

One thing ... you say "The self is still there, I just see through it's BS now lol."
What does the word "self" in the above sentence refer to?


The self, although it feels pervasive, is simply thought and perception. Thought says "I" exist as the controller of my life, that I must intervene, or ...

One thing ... you say "The self is still there, I just see through it's BS now lol."
What does the word "self" in the above sentence refer to?


The self, although it feels pervasive, is simply thought and perception. Thought says "I" exist as the controller of my life, that I must intervene, or ...

Well Bananafish, I think I'm good. Initially tons of thoughts flooded as to where to go from here, what to do---who's asking? Nobody, just thinking doing its thinking stuff. I see through the illusion now, although I think it will take some time to settle into this new perspective. The self is still ...

Great, Adam!

Please, later, inform about what followed that recognition.

You are doing a great job!



I appreciate your words of encouragement. A massive shift in perspective happened when I read that last message. A flood of bizarre sensation came over the body. I began to sweat all over ...

Please watch any particular object in where you are now.
Say, a chair.

Which one description describe watching a chair more
precisely? Please choose a number.

1. I'm watching a chair
2. Watching a chair
3. Watching




Holy hell.....watching. But even that doesn't describe it. Oh man. 'Life ...

Do you see any boundary between awareness, thoughts, & perceptions?




I don't see a boundary, no. But somehow there is a sense (maybe a thought, maybe perception--it's so difficult to even pinpoint) that I am watching this all happen. I'm watching 'my' perceptions, thoughts as this knowing ...

Do you feel that "openness" is separate from any perception, including
bodily sensations?

I think this is where I'm having an issue. YES, I see it now. There is a distinct sense of awareness being separate from thoughts, & perceptions

By observing, or being awareness, could you freely describe it?
Also, please give one or two different names to it; I'd prefer
your original one; not something like consciousness, oneness, or
awake something ... could you try that?





Awareness feels like the most fundamental part of what I am ...

Any experience, be it eating an apple or some kind of mystical experience,
is a memory; trying to chase for memory is to neglect what is here and now, but
here, we are trying to deal only with what is here and now.

Am I making sense?


Fair enough, makes perfect sense.


Can you see this as one ...

Is that an intellectual understanding? It is important to know
where you are stuck on your way, and directly observe what
is making you stuck. It is easy to say that there is no separate self,
but that isn't equivalent to experientially know that there isn't one.

Could the sticking point be ...

You wrote that you are carried away by thoughts; could we clarify this?
Observe any thought that comes, and please find the one who is
"carried away."
Also, please clarify what being carried away by thought really means.


No one is truly carried away. Being carried away is another thought and ...