Hi there, can we continue the inquiry?



no practice any more. I am sick of f*** practices. Who gives a f**** about practices?
Are you saying that you give up, or do you want to try and find a different way through?

vince


I did a lot of process work on a bodily and emotional level but ...

hi again, here are happening cycles of suffering apparently. bodily issues, guilt. shame, agitation, helplessness, grief, like a real movie. kinda funny seen with some distance.


Never has the content of a thought been real. Thoughts are always ABOUT something. They are never IT.
yes of course ...

hi again, here are happening cycles of suffering apparently. bodily issues, guilt. shame, agitation, helplessness, grief, like a real movie. kinda funny seen with some distance.


Never has the content of a thought been real. Thoughts are always ABOUT something. They are never IT.
yes of course ...

Hi there, suffering seemed to bind attention these days.


There is only one thing to focus on when those pesky thoughts arrive, and that is when recognition that they were present happened, did you celebrate it?
Celebration happens by itself if thoughts are seen as unreal. Before that no ...

It happened that there appeared loneliness and huge suffering. Tried to not go into story but it was like the abyss without thinking still became bigger and bigger. And then from one moment to the other it was clear that thoughts are not real and there only remained feelings and sensations without ...

Can you allow that 'truth' to seep through everything? Every response?
It's the thoughts about anything and everything that obscure their actual nature.
I try to. Thoughts are still convincing apparently.


The question is "did it touch something?
What was the feeling.. What is the feeling when ...

without thought and resistance, the numbness is just numbness, nothing to avoid or force to feel, just what is, nothing special, unpleasant but no problem. Empty in a way without meaning. This is huge!, Can you let this one really sink in?
I did my best


Isn't the doer just sensations with ...

The portal out of this is not behind you. It is not beside you.
It is squarely in front of you.
The only way to reach it is through the fire of your fear.
You can do it.
I tell you this because I imagine it happening.
this is good to read. I remember this for next time. There was the strong belief ...

Were you pulled out or pushed out or did you just float out of it? (or something else)
Report please.
The sensations are mostly tension and numbness which is labeled as the worst to feel or more unfeelable. Anayway, I got some support to feel these sensations by listening to a old Satsang ...

Right now there is a very unpleasant numbness feelable in the body and a strong feeling of helplessness, resistance, hatred. Guess this is highly connected with trauma and early experiences of loss and at the same time it is a story and the story keeps the suffering vivid.
Especially the ...

You avoid what is actual in favor of stories ABOUT it.
apparently


How can we know about the foundation of existence?
It is an assumption, conditioning maybe. Knowing is just thought.


..and what is the usefulness of knowing anyway?
survival I guess. It is a survival mechanism learned in ...

at some point feeling the anger and helplessness escalates into the desire to numb any feelings and thoughts.

but the helplessness and anger is still based on the guilt story I guess that maybe does not only appear in conscious thoughts but is assumed as given as the foundation of existing ...

Maybe not as the final questions, but they give us a good idea of where we need more work (play)
ok.


Clearly you have expectations that these things shouldn't happen once you are awake.
That they happen says nothing about being awake. What does though, is how we respond when they occur.
yes ...

Hi there, I think I am not ready for these questions.
There happened addictive behaviour, bodily issues, guilt and self-blame again. The worst is the guilt and self blame based on the assumption of being the doer.


Did a ‘self’ choose something?
It still is assumed that the self is to blame for ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

can not find a separate self

2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how ...