there is further looking to be done if it interests you and there are both groups on this forum and on Facebook for this purpose.

So nice to pick up this message. Definitely interested in additional looking. will send PM


thank you for sticking with the process

Was there a choice not to stick ...

Dont know what is doing "selfing" but here's a thought: it could be the ego building fortifications around itself.

That parts does sound a bit weak, clearly an imagined ego can't do much. How about it just happens?

Best

What is 'selfing'? I've not heard of it before.
What is doing it?
How is it relevant / important to this discussion?

I'm not sure where this term came from but it works for me. I've been aware of it for a while. In my first vipassana retreat 5yrs ago, for ex., i remember walking back from the ...

I've relaxed quite a bit but sill feel a slight application of intention.
Is it personal?

hmm. No, i don't suppose my imaginary self is applying intention.

Perhaps there is a wish that the imaginary self was a bit more relaxed (a wish about a thought). Perhaps this self should stop drinking ...

sorry on the second last sentence should read "...thoughts (ego) built on top of other thoughts (I).

Even assuming there are inherently existing others, do these others have choice, control, free-will?

yes, that should have been my question. I feel like it is a big one. Interested: Is there further guidance?

As for my answers:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere ...

Masterful guiding! When i heard the crack of the whip i scampered!

You could do a kooky experiment - Let's say 'making a cup of coffee'.
Go to the kitchen and stand there. Make a suggestion that a cup of coffee (or tea) is going to be made, but its 'just going to happen' - And watch and observe ...

And, importantly, what seems clear? That my concept of "i" is just imagined and never existed. And that all these thoughts about this imagined person are completely irrelevant. The idea that i can't decide is just an idea about an imagined self that is also an idea.

The zen koans "What am I", or ...

You are right in your statement that 'believing' would not be possible without a believer performing that function.
So what is inferred? A belief, a believer, neither or both?

My looking tells me that neither a belief nor a believer can be found and both must be inferred.

So . . . have you any ...

And an "i" that i rather convincingly brought into being!
Whilst I fully understand the meaning of this, was there ever an 'I' doing this?
Could it have 'just happened'?

Sorry, i got sloppy. No fictitious "I" brought another fictitious "I"into being. Yes, it may have just happened.


Hmm, i ...

So there is an 'I' feeling a pair of hands and a separate handle?
Did we do the exercise on 'feeling'? What was found?
Apply the exercise to grinding coffee (with eyes closed) and tell me what you found.

Sorry I am at work now and coffee grinder at home. So "i" cannot follow directions exactly ...

All I ask is to tell me what you find. If you find an independent 'I', then tell me and we can examine it.

Grinding my coffee by hand this morning, contemplating this. There is the sound of the beans being ground. There is the feeling of my hands spinning the handle. Surely these beans aren't ...

If i agreed, i think i would be being disingenuous as it isn't yet my experience.
.... Where exactly is the issue - What was the problem with that particular area?

i felt i was being led to the conclusion that the independent "I" as feeler, decider or chooser had always been false. I felt like i ...

We seemed to have gone to a weird place in the guidance, and I wasn't sure how to proceed.

I am extremely grateful for your guidance, interested in this process and will aim to complete it as directed.

I wasn't aware that we had gone to a weird place. I thought you thought i was ready to step ...

sorry, i may have misunderstood. I just saw that Ilona indicate that we should write daily, like this i a journal of sorts.

Right now i feel more space than when i started but find the sense of I still there though i realize its an illusion at the same time. Meditate very early morning today and it ...