Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

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chimpta
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Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Thu Feb 16, 2012 1:42 am

Hi,

I have been on an Eastern spiritual path for 40 years. I spent a lot of time in India and other places with my eyes closed. I have continued, all these years, to keep a disciplined sadhana. I now see that there was a lot of myth and confusion created about the awakened state. I have been listening to many non-dual teachers and realize that, in many ways, the truth I was seeking is not as distant as I thought. I have been reading "Gateless Gatecrashers" and am excited about what I read. I would like a guide to "Unleash Liberation". I want to be free. I am ready.

Mark

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Eloratea
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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby Eloratea » Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:53 am

Hello Mark,

it was a long journey...You might have some expectations now how this liberation is going to be and it is good to describe it for the beginning.
Thank you.

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:30 pm

Hi Eloratea,

Thanks for jumping in. I tend to think that any expectations on my part are likely to be wrong. Since liberation is beyond the mind I don't want to get stuck there and be open to whatever Truth is. What I have done or expected in the past has not brought me to my goal so I am open and need a guide.

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby Eloratea » Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:06 pm

Ok. Actually you don’t need a guide but just to look freshly into your actual experience :)
Truth is not hidden; it is here right now, in this what is.
Look and tell me is there you, is there a self in any form in this what is?
If yes, describe it.

Regards,
El

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:45 am

Hi El,

In searching I can not find a self in any form but there seems to be a pure awareness from which thoughts and feelings emanate. The thoughts and feelings are not the self. I am not sure about the relationship of the self, if any, with the formless awareness that is the witness to those emanations.

You asked "is there a self in any form in this what is?" In answer to "what is" I would say no, I can't locate one.

Om

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby Eloratea » Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:06 am

When you say "I" what do you refer to?

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:49 pm

Hmmm. Good question. Something within that I am identifying with. But when I examine that "within" nobody's home. :)

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby Eloratea » Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:06 pm

Please, can you describe more this examination within. So that we know you are looking at the right place.

Have you looked into this identification how it operates, is it always there, is it connected with some thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body? Feel free to use as much words as you want.
This is all about looking into the direct experience and describing it to see better what is really going on;

Stay well!

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:09 am

Hi El,

I need some time to work on this. I greatly appreciate your working with me on this.

Pleasant dreams.

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby Eloratea » Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:02 am

You're welcome!
Take your time and write when you feel so.

El

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Sun Feb 19, 2012 5:27 pm

It is the weekend and I haven't been home much but this journey is often in my awareness. I am about to rush out again but there is a growing experience. This morning, for a nano second, any identity was gone and a fear came up. I will go into detail later. For now it is a beautiful Sunday and this action figure should enjoy mountains, lakes and nature. :)

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby Eloratea » Sun Feb 19, 2012 8:59 pm

Great, enjoy your time and let the fear also come in.
There is no identity anyway to come and go, just the identification. With what?

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:05 am

To answer your previous questions: The examination within is the inquiry that this crashing the gate journey is about. The examination of pure awareness is about what is still there even when there is no thought, mental activity or ego. A big part of my answer may be an intellectualization but the experience is that awareness is there. It seems to be always there but attention is usually not focused on that so maybe it is and maybe it isn't. It does not seem to be connected to anything. It is no thing... a flow of awareness?

This morning during meditation I could not find the me. There was always the teaching in the back of my mind that what we really are is pure awareness. But what is that really. It feels like there is a stream of awareness flowing from within. It really does not have an identity or form. Still there is a sense of security that something is there. Is that true though? Pure awareness is not really something. It just is. Formless, nothing. Then the thought came, “why am I looking for the I when there is no I?” At that moment there was a feeling like, metaphorically, the rug was pulled out from under me. No me! No I! What is left? Everything? Nothing? That is when some fear came in. Yikes!! It was just a flash. Awareness considered what is left is a flow of life, a flow of being.

To not project myself onto anything or nothing - is that the real meaning of surrender? I allowed the flow to continue without attachment or desire. It was delightful, very peaceful. So many thoughts about various scriptural points or teachings I had heard bubbled up with a new understanding and appreciation. I don't think (a challenge to get away from that “I” word) I was in the same empty state that preceded the fear but I am not really sure.

It is much easier for me to work with this in and just after meditation. Yesterday we were having tea just after meditation and the flow of thoughts were about the Gate. I looked at my significant other (s.o. From here on) and thought about how she is also not really an individual. That immediately brought on a slight feeling of nausea. I fully allowed the feeling and processed it. I guess the idea of nobody running the show out there triggered something. Discussions with the s.o. Have continues and there is a lot of shared experience and resonance. Talking about it, forming these ideas into words, helps in many ways. How wonderful there is a chance for sharing this.

During the week when these thoughts were flowing there would be a slight head pressure. Today it just created a meditative state, which can be interesting to deal with while driving. When there is focus on this knowledge there is some shift in awareness. Otherwise it is easy to fall into the pattern of the world of me and I.

There is a challenge to put these things in words. There is an effort to report on experience rather than past teachings. Putting that into language... hmmm. On one level I find it helpful on another it is challenging to get the right message across.

Thanks El, I greatly appreciate you continued guidance.

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby Eloratea » Mon Feb 20, 2012 9:00 am

Thank you for the report.

Sure words can't convey the truth, but can be very useful as pointers and we use them in that way. So, don't worry about that, just write honestly and let the words come on its own.

Very important thing about truth is that it is always here and same. No matter of the circumstances, be it meditation, driving, or a tea-talk.
No need for the meditation to approach this simple fact, just a pure, honest looking.
it is easy to fall into the pattern of the world of me and I.
There are different patterns of thoughts and behavior, but none having them, none to fall into them!
They are layered like an onion, with no core, nothing in the middle. This is about seeing it and examining from that point the layers and patterns, as they are based on different beliefs and concepts. Some useful, some not.

Look through the day during the usual activities as if there is no entity, no doer, no thinker, just life happening; everything unfolding in awareness belonging to none. See how it fits with reality.

Warm Regards

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Re: Time to awaken to the Truth - looking for help.

Postby chimpta » Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:27 am

The looking is easiest while driving because that becomes a meditation of sorts. Does the looking through the day mean diligent attention and focus?


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