Help me please . . .

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Sparsh
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Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Fri May 16, 2014 3:44 pm

Hello, my name is Sparsh. Like everyone else here, I want to awaken to reality. I have been reading/watching videos about awakening/enlightenment since past few years, but to no avail. I have practiced meditations, but not regularly. I tried self-enquiry by Ramana Maharshi a few times, but it didn't work. I see enlightenment as 'end of sufferings' as said by the Buddha. I learnt about your website a few months ago. Kindly guide me to awakening.

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stu
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby stu » Fri May 16, 2014 4:26 pm

Hi Sparsh, Welcome to Liberation Unleashed! My name is Stuart. I'm happy to guide you.You have come to the right place to awaken to the reality of no-self. Do you have anything to add about what brought you here? If not, that's fine. It's just nice to get a good sense of where we are starting from. Also, just to be clear, enlightenment is not on offer here (I wish it was!). Although seeing no-self is a step in that direction.

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Fri May 16, 2014 6:26 pm

Hi Stuart. Thanks for being my guide. A facebook friend had suggested me to visit this website.

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stu
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby stu » Sun May 18, 2014 7:55 am

Here’s a framework that I think is useful… Please can you confirm that it sounds ok to you:

1. Please post at least once a day, even if only to say, "still here!" If you can't for some reason, just let me know.
2. In general, I will ask questions for you to respond to.
3. Respond with 100% honesty. There are no wrong or right answers.
4. Respond from direct experience only (felt senses and observed thoughts). Avoid long-winded analytical and philosophical and stream-of-consciousness answers, which will probably hinder progress.
5. Please put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention into seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.
6. You might like to learn to use the quote function; it can be useful when referring to things that have been written in previous posts. See these instructions:
http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... ?f=4&t=660
7. You might like to ensure that you have subscribed to this forum thread, by clicking on the small ‘subscribe topic’ link at the bottom of this page. Then you will automatically get an email as soon as I make a post.
8. If there is a period of inactivity, the website might automatically log you out. That would prevent you from making a post and delete any post that you are part-way through writing. So you might like to draft out your post in Word (or some other software) and then copy and paste it to this forum. I do that for long posts.

I confirm that I’ll post within 1 day each time.

Please also confirm that you have read the disclaimer here:
http://www.liberationunleashed.com/

Thanks.

Now the formalities are out of the way, What are your expectations for seeing no-self? How will this feel or change you?

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Sun May 18, 2014 8:46 am

Thanks Stuart. I'll try my best to make at least one post a day.
I suffer from a very low self esteem. I hope seeing the reality will help me to see it as irrelevant.

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Sun May 18, 2014 8:49 am

I'd like to be emotionally independent. I hope awakening will make me love my aloneness.

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Sun May 18, 2014 3:36 pm

I also want to add that I'm currently reading 'Gateless Gatecrashers', and finished reading the first interview. Should I stop reading it, or can I continue reading it ?

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stu
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby stu » Mon May 19, 2014 8:53 am

Thanks for your posts.
I suffer from a very low self esteem. I hope seeing the reality will help me to see it as irrelevant.
Seeing no-self is likely to help with any fixed view about self, so if we reach this journey's end, you can expect a loosening there. But a lifetime of habitual thinking about self has inertia/force, which does not disappear after seeing no-self. So the word 'irrelevant' doesn't quite fit with my experience. It's more that self-related patterns of thought seem too have less force (are less 'sticky') and are easier to see for what they are...just patterns of thought that arise dependant upon conditions, without the need of a 'self'. Perhaps, in your sentence, 'irrelevant' could be replaced with 'an illusion'.
I'd like to be emotionally independent. I hope awakening will make me love my aloneness.
My comment about patterns of though having inertia applies here too, in the realm of feelings. Seeing no-self will not banish feelings of neediness or loneliness. And with regard to expectations generally, there is a good list of what Liberation Unleashed is NOT here (well worth a look if you haven't seen it already): http://www.liberationunleashed.com/LU_FAQ.html
I also want to add that I'm currently reading 'Gateless Gatecrashers', and finished reading the first interview. Should I stop reading it, or can I continue reading it ?
I recommend that you either:
1) stop reading the Gateless Gratecrashers book for the duration of our conversation, because our conversation is more tailored to you, or
2) finish reading the book while we put our conversation on hold. We could restart our dialogue after you have finished it.

Which do you prefer?

Also, have you read the disclaimer that I mentioned in my previous post?

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Mon May 19, 2014 11:06 am

Thanks for the suggestions Stuart. Yeah, I have read the disclaimer you mentioned earlier.
And yeah, I guess I'll stop reading Gateless Gatecrashers for now.

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stu
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby stu » Mon May 19, 2014 5:33 pm

Great.
What comes up when it is read that there is absolutely no “you” in any way, shape or form, there never has been a “you”, nor is there or will be there ever be?

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Tue May 20, 2014 6:31 am

Knowing there's no me to experience all these is kind of a solace.

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stu
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby stu » Tue May 20, 2014 5:19 pm

That's good to hear. Although there is a big difference between knowing something intellectually (which is what you are referring to, I think) and seeing it directly. So let's continue...
What does the word "I" or "me" point to, here and now? In other words, what part of your direct experience gives you a sense of self?

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Tue May 20, 2014 6:36 pm

Gurus say "I'm not the body. I'm not the mind". But, I have always felt this body-mind combination to be me. I'm the one that feels and experiences all these. I'm the one very often miserable. I'm the one frustrated. I'm the one with low self-esteem. I'm the one who is overweight, and is losing weight. I'm the one not happy with my body, and want to be thin as soon as possible. I'm the one who feels I'm needy of love . . .

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Sparsh
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby Sparsh » Tue May 20, 2014 6:40 pm

I'm the one who feels hurt and offended when I'm disrespected . . .

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stu
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Re: Help me please . . .

Postby stu » Wed May 21, 2014 6:13 pm

So it looks like you identify the self with the body and with emotions. I’d like us to address those 2 topics in turn. We’ll come back to emotions later.

Here’s an exercise to try:
Take a look right now at the direct experience of your body in the present moment (so that excludes the past or future). Report what is in your awareness, and especially the aspects of your experience that lead to identification with the body as belonging to Sparsh.
It might be helpful to use these categories of experience (sometimes used on this website), though you don’t have to use them:
1) thought
2) sensations: 
seeing, 
hearing
, smelling, 
tasting, 
feeling [tactile + kinesthetic)
3) an unmistakable sense of Aliveness 
(presence, being)
But do look at each aspect of your experience and examine it to see in what way it indicates that it belongs to Sparsh…does it have a certain quality that gives it its Sparshness?


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