Looking for a guide

[poporo]

hey, im looking for a guide ;)

[dreamer]

Hi Poporo

I am looking for someone to guide :)

1. I Ask, you answer
2. We reply here at least once a day
3. Please refrain from spiritual search as long as we work together

If you agree on the terms, lets get started!

Please write your expectations of what it will be like to see the illusion of 'I', all of them, as detailed as possible.

'I' is just a thought. There is no personal 'I'!
What happens reading this?

Warm regards Vivi

[poporo]

Hi Vivi :)

I agree with the terms :)

I am not sure if those are expectations, but there are just thoughts of how it could look like:
it may be something like a big ball of light and everything dissolves within that light and then the connection with everything is to be felt constantly. There would be no identification with thoughts, any kind of them, just the experience. The perception may change into more vivid, more whole-seeing, more receptive. There would be feeling of unconditional love all the time - or at least the perception from a point of love. Conscious creation of a dream with no fear, just trust.

'I' is just a thought. There is no personal 'I'!
What happens reading this?

I understand that intellectually, but still, there are situations where I feel the "I", with emotions like anger or sadness etc

Love,
Paula

[dreamer]

Hi Paula

Please describe how you understand there is no 'I', as detailed as you can

Warm regards

Vivi

[poporo]

Hi Vivi,

-The understanding is that "I" is just a thought, thoughts are not real, the experience of thinking is real, but thoughts not. There is no boundary between the experiencer and the experience, the separate experiencer does not exist. Feelings, emotions they just come and go, they are part of everything, that is.

That is as detailed as it is for the moment.

Love,
Paula

[dreamer]

Good! and how did this understanding show up? Have you read it, heard about it, thought about it or experienced it?
If you have experienced it - how did that happen?

There is no 'I', not at all, have never been.
What happens when reading this?

Warm regards Vivi

[poporo]

Vivi,

this was an experience. It was a part of gentle realization, when I saw, that there is no path to God and kinda cut the energetic cords towards an idea of God. And pop, here it came.

When reading "there is no "I", not at all, have never been", thoughts slow down a bit and mind became quiet.

Love,
Paula

[dreamer]

Hi Paula

Thank you :)

Re: expectations. It is really good that you wrote 'these are thoughts'. Expectations are thoughts. In this case slightly unrealistic thoughts! Why should anything change by seeing that 'I' is not there and that there never there never have been an 'I'?

By 'only intellectual understanding', do you mean that there is no difference from before seeing that there is no 'I'? Isn't that just a thought?

Now look at thoughts. How do thoughts come to be? Are you the thinker of thoughts?

Warm regards Vivi

[poporo]

Hello Vivi,

Why should anything change by seeing that 'I' is not there and that there never there never have been an 'I'?

Actually, I don't know why, just had this feeling that it should be big and significant experience.

By 'only intellectual understanding', do you mean that there is no difference from before seeing that there is no 'I'? Isn't that just a thought?

Yes, it is a thought as well, but this is like I had this expectation that perception should change in a significant way. like a shift or something.

Thoughts just are, but as they seem to be connected with experiences of the "outer world", like inner comments or emotions it is difficult to see the boundary if thoughts are "mine" or not.

Hugs,
Paula

[dreamer]

Hi Paula

....but as they seem to be connected with experiences of the "outer world", like inner comments or emotions it is difficult to see the boundary if thoughts are "mine" or not.

Look into that. What is saying so? Are thoughts yours? What does it mean 'if they are mine...when 'I' is an illusion = a thought.....what does 'mine' mean?

Warm regards Vivi

[poporo]

Vivi,

No, but it seems like they are "mine" because they comment, label everything what is happening?

Hugs,
Paula

[dreamer]

Hi Paula

Yes, and that feeling of thoughts being yours - isn't it thought labelling a feeling?

Greetings
Vivi

[poporo]

Hello Vivi,

yes they are haha

hugs
Paula

[dreamer]

Ok Paula :)

What about choice. How do you experience choices happening?

Greetings Vivi

[poporo]

Hi Vivi,

the more everything reveals itself, the more experience of choice is basically non-existent. It is like I don't have any influence on anything, that is happening.
Yet still, sometimes, there are days when I feel just bad, for not doing what I feel is right. Like this workshop for people, like something is stopping me from doing it. I am afraid I am losing something very precious when this resistance happens.

Hugs,
Paula