So.. who wants to be my lucky guide? :-)

[idolanuel]

My name is Ido, 27 years old from Israel.

Used to be a very serious, tensed guy with a big will and ability to "succeed" in life, a former officer in the IDF, degree in computer science, bla bla bla..
Two years ago I've met a very smart man while traveling in India, who tought me a specific meditation which was right for me. After that everything have changed, and soon enough I started playing violin, teaching meditation my self (I practice a lot every day), wrote a book and finally an interactive self awareness workshop - 2baware.net
I now travel the world (just finishing 3 months in Mauritius) while managing my workshop.

So all in all, everything is very cool, and I guess that the time for that step has come..

PEACE

[Damon Kamda]

Hi Ido,

Thanks for your introduction. Welcome to LU.

I'd be happy to work with you here, provided we can agree to two simple guidelines:

- We stay away from speculation and theorizing and just focus on what can actually be experienced to be the case in the direct experience of the present moment;
- In order to keep a good flow of communication going, we try to post at least once every day (with the odd exception allowed of course...)

If you're willing to stick to those guidelines, let's take a look at what's going on here.

I guess that the time for that step has come..

Great!
What do you mean with "that step"?
What are you expecting to get out of this conversation?
What are you here for?

[idolanuel]

hi Damon,

Thank you very much for accepting to guide me.

I do accept both of the terms specified.

Regarding your 3 questions:
- By "that step" I mean that I feel ready to step beyond the stories that are preserving the illusion of "me".
- Out of this conversation, I expect to get the necassery guide that will help me experience my one true nature.
- I'm not sure what you mean by saying what am I here for, so I'll answer both options :-) If you meant to ask why I am here in this forum, so the answer is the same as for the previous question. If you mean what am I here in this world, so I guess I'm here to do what I'm here to do, which as I can see it NOW (It might change I guess), is helping people find there own path in life, the path that most serves them as well as unity.

Peace.

[Damon Kamda]

By "that step" I mean that I feel ready to step beyond the stories that are preserving the illusion of "me".

Allright. Then you've come to the right place...

I'm not sure what you mean by saying what am I here for, so I'll answer both options :-) If you meant to ask why I am here in this forum, so the answer is the same as for the previous question. If you mean what am I here in this world, so I guess I'm here to do what I'm here to do, which as I can see it NOW (It might change I guess), is helping people find there own path in life, the path that most serves them as well as unity.

Haha, thanks. The "why are you here" was indeed the same question as the previous one.

Out of this conversation, I expect to get the necassery guide that will help me experience my one true nature.

So you're here to experience your one true nature?
That's an excellent departure point for this investigation.

Let's examine the thought "I want to experience my one true nature".

The invitation to you is to look, in the simple experience of the present moment, at what this sentence actually refers to (if it refers at all).

What is the I that would experience "my one true nature"?
What is the "my" to which that one true nature belongs?
How do these selves relate to one another?

You see what I'm asking?

Don't come up with an answer straight away- just examine this, directly, in the total field of experience.

And remember- it's very, VERY easy to go off into speculation here, but the invitation is to consult ONLY what can directly be observed to be the case.

[idolanuel]

Both are related as the I uses the "my" to define itself. It is defined by it's belongins - "My body", "My belief"...

Honestly, I have no idea what is the "I" that would experience "my one true nature".
I would say "ido lanuel" is the "I", but ido lanuel is a speculation.
I would also say something like "The vastness, Awareness...." - that is currently also a speculation because I can understand these terms only intellectualy.

When I ask myself "what I?" and release those answers, I experience a kind of emptyness - no answer is coming, there is just silence, until thoughts are arising. And than, the emptyness is still there, in the background.

[idolanuel]

OK I think I've just had a wider experience.

So I was just closing my eyes and tried to really investigate your last question.

I felt some movements in the mind, some colors (mostly purple), some mvoements in the body, some deeper sensations. After a while, when opening my eyes I felt this space all around, a wider awareness. The whole idea of "Ido Lanuel" seemed very far through out this time. (I cant talk without "I" and "my", so both are in the sentence :-))

[Damon Kamda]

OK I think I've just had a wider experience.

Yes, because you're moving beyond speculation and actually looking at what's going on. Wonderful.

I felt some movements in the mind, some colors (mostly purple), some mvoements in the body, some deeper sensations. After a while, when opening my eyes I felt this space all around, a wider awareness. The whole idea of "Ido Lanuel" seemed very far through out this time. (I cant talk without "I" and "my", so both are in the sentence :-))

So in this wider awareness, is there an I at all?

Describe it. All of it.

[idolanuel]

Hi Damon,

In this wider awareness there is no "I". Things are arising and disolving out and into nothing. When I'm there, I'm aware to more things than usual, basically aware not only to my thoughs. More voices are heard, more physical sesations are felt, as well as "non-physical". It is also rarely feels (and for a very very short time) as if it is all a 3 dimensional metrix, through which voices are passing, creating their own field which moves in some direction as the voice is heard. Sometimes it feels like the voices are inside "me" and not outside.

This things doesn't happen all the time, they are passing phenomenons.

Something is still missing, I'm not sure that all of the things that I have described above are not coming from my intellect.

I'm just closing my eyes and wait for the first "I" thought to arise, than start questioning it. Than at a point, I wonder who is questioning.

Am not quite sure what to do next. In the meanwhile, this is what I keep on doing.

[Damon Kamda]

In this wider awareness there is no "I". Things are arising and disolving out and into nothing. When I'm there, I'm aware to more things than usual, basically aware not only to my thoughs. More voices are heard, more physical sesations are felt, as well as "non-physical". It is also rarely feels (and for a very very short time) as if it is all a 3 dimensional metrix, through which voices are passing, creating their own field which moves in some direction as the voice is heard. Sometimes it feels like the voices are inside "me" and not outside.

Something is still missing, I'm not sure that all of the things that I have described above are not coming from my intellect.

Ok, what you're describing is an altered state, some aspects of which may or may not be "coming from your intellect" as you hint at yourself. In any case, this has very little to nothing to do with the present examination. It's a state- which means it comes and it goes again. What we're concerned with here is something much more subtle, yet much more profound. You need to pay attention in order to see it.

So, forget about the special, fluffy state (don't try to get rid of it though- if it's there, just let it be- it's wholly irrelevant to what we're doing here).

I'm just closing my eyes and wait for the first "I" thought to arise, than start questioning it. Than at a point, I wonder who is questioning.

Look, there's nothing particularly spiritual, mystical or special about what we're pointing here.
In fact- it is downright obvious and simple.

You can wonder "who is questioning" all you want, to no avail.
What do you expect will happen when you do this? An answer will magically pop up?

Perhaps you might want to consider that the very premise of the question "Who is questioning?" is mistaken.

The question is: is there a who at all?
Is the questioning being done by anyone or anything at all?
Is there something or someone behind the questioning?

You can apply this question to literally everything that happens, and my invitation to you is to actually do this.

Is it possible to ever find, in the immediacy of the present moment experience, any experiencer separate from the experience?

You see?

What is I in the first place?

[idolanuel]

Thanks,

Just closed my eyes and used those questions.
I think that within a minute or two I fell into a very deep place, or space.
I have found myself there in the last 3 month a few times, but this time it was very very deep.
At the beginning it thoughts kept arising, and in one point there was a complete shut own, no thoughts were needed anymore. After a while in this space, which I could not find its place or bounderis, it felt as if the body is loosing proportions. It was almost gone. Throughout this time, I've felt my heart rotating non stop.

Than, everything connected to a perfect harmony. There was no difference between my breathing, the sound of the refrigirator, the feelings in my body (knees hurt, stomach goes up and down), children screaming outside.

Haha, I don't know if unlike the experience in the last message this is not an altered state. I do know that since yesterday I'm experiencing things in a speed of a spaceship.

Peace

[idolanuel]

regarding your last question,
I think I understand what you mean.
"I" in the first place is time based. It is born because of a belief in anything but the present. In the immediacy of the present moment experience it cannot be created.

The mind is having a tough time understanding how the experience and the experiencer can be one. It is quite confusing now with what I've just experienced.

I'm confused.

[idolanuel]

Oh I think I'm starting to understand that I wasn't looking at the right direction.
This last experience is also just an experience, most of it at least (What do you think about the harmonious state?)

It all has to be more simple.
I feel like it is very close, kind of like when I'm trying to remember a specific word and can't find it, wile I feel that it is on the tip of my tongue.

And yet, as more as I'm trying to look, it get more confusing. It feels like the question itself "Is there a who at all?" is loosing its meaning. I feel like I don't even understand what I'm looking for. Ofcourse the ido lanuel is just a story, was never there. And than this question arise: "SO?"
I suddenly don't understand anything

[idolanuel]

Hey,

So I think that I'm starting to get what is the right direction to look towards.

When I'm just observing the present moment, there idea of I just fade away, it has nothing to do with what really happening. The voices, the sensations, the body, the thoughts, this presence, they are all there. The idea of the "I", which creates boundaries between them, is an illusion.

So now I want to get deeper into that, what shoul I do? Keep examining it all the time?

[Damon Kamda]

This last experience is also just an experience, most of it at least (What do you think about the harmonious state?)

Of course it was. This isn't about generating these types of experience or making these last.

It's simply about seeing what is real and what isn't.

It all has to be more simple.
I feel like it is very close, kind of like when I'm trying to remember a specific word and can't find it, wile I feel that it is on the tip of my tongue.

Yes, it's very simple. It is simply this. THIS.

And yet, as more as I'm trying to look, it get more confusing. It feels like the question itself "Is there a who at all?" is loosing its meaning. I feel like I don't even understand what I'm looking for. Ofcourse the ido lanuel is just a story, was never there. And than this question arise: "SO?"

Yes!
Can you see that the question WHO is utterly meaningless?

I suddenly don't understand anything

Hahaha, welcome home!

When I'm just observing the present moment, there idea of I just fade away, it has nothing to do with what really happening. The voices, the sensations, the body, the thoughts, this presence, they are all there. The idea of the "I", which creates boundaries between them, is an illusion.

Yes, that's it.
Really simple, yet look closer and see what else falls away.
When the I-story is seen through- what remains?

So now I want to get deeper into that, what shoul I do? Keep examining it all the time?

Can you get deeper into this experience?
Is there a you separate from this experience to get deeper into it?
Do you exist at all???

[idolanuel]

Alright, this is an exciting update..

I got it! :-)

Only a glimpse though.

Was just hanging aroung all day at the beach, trying to get my way through this.
After a few hours of trying, I just lay down on the beach and watched the sky.

A VERY deep sensation of peace suddenly came by. I just started laughing there on the beach, everything felt so good I than asked while looking at the skies: "Is there anybody behind those eyes?" I can't really describe it better than that, but I felt as if I'm looking through a hole. An empty hole inside my mind. It was there for a while, keeping me shocked, than it was gone.