Hey wanderer, that's it! :)
Thank you for all your time, effort, knowledge and patience, Ingen! It's very much appreciated :)
Nice investigation about your centrepoint. What happened to your "state"?
The full effects of the state have subsided, but it seems to have left a kind of 'clarity' behind. Things seem more vivid (colours and textures). There's also more of a sense of ease with the world. Also, looking at the mechanics of the 'self' in action is extremely easy, it's just a case of taking my attention away from the inner dialogue and towards present moment experience. Of course, it's difficult to tell what has been caused by my earlier shift and what has been caused by this state. I've been thinking a bit about what the state could have been and a few things have sprung to mind (I've worked my way through much of the Progress of Insight in the past, so it could be one of the earlier stages playing out again, or could be an increase in the luminosity aspect of I-Am-Ness, or could be something completely different) but I guess it would probably be wasted energy investing much time trying to figure out what it was for certain. I might have a better idea in a few months, when looking back on the experience.
it feels almoust redundant, but would you write a piece answering the usual "confirmation" questions:
1) Is there a you, at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
There is no me. No 'me' thinking, no 'me' feeling emotion, no 'me' feeling pain, no 'me' making decisions. Instead, there are thoughts arising, emotions arising, painful sensations arising, and conditioned responses arising - completely of their own accord. There is no controller sitting behind the scenes deciding what action to take and the thought that there would be seems quite ridiculous now. My name is just a label that points at 'me' and doesn't encapsulate 'me'. There is no one 'me' that persist throughout time, just a bundle of sensations that are ever changing, arising and passing and constantly being replaced by other sensations.
2) Explain in detail what the self is and how it works.
The self is the illusion of a single, unchanging entity that lives inside this body and controls all actions, thoughts and decisions. In reality there is no controller, just sensations arising of their own accord. These sensations are woven together in such a way that it gives the impression of a 'me'. For instance, a thought will lead to an emotion, which is just a group of sensations, which in turn can lead to another thought, which can then intensify the emotion, which can keep going round in a viscious cycle until an impulse causes an action to be taken (motor functions in the body are activated). The 'self' seems to have a centrepoint in the head/chest region, probably because sight and thoughts exist here. Attention jumps back and forth between the centrepoint and other sensations very quickly to give the impression that the centrepoint is 'experiencing' the other sensations.
3) How does it feel to be liberated?
With the absense of self, day to day life is a more interesting and enjoyable experience. It's now possible to see the mechanism of the self in action, so I am less likely to get caught in negative mindstates. Emotions and thoughts can be looked at more objectively, without clinging to them as 'mine', which means that there is the ability to allow emotions and thought patterns to pass quicker than usual.
4) how would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about no you.
It would be difficult. Someone who has never heard of no self would probably be quite dismissive or give you blank stares if you started to go on about the fact that they don't really exist! They'd maybe even call the men in white coats! So, I'd probably start off by asking them to try to keep an open mind, bear with me and look at their direct experience. Then start pulling at the threads. Ask them how they decided to do 'x'. There would probably be a reply about 'my thoughts', so I'd ask how they chose which thought came into existence and ask where the thought came from. Then start looking at the rest of the illusion of self - emotions, and other sensations in the body and see if they brought them into existence. I'd ask them about the 'story of them' throughout their life and ask if it was real (that seemed to be the clincher for me).
Thanks again!
