Clarity Sought

[Maylson]

What you’re meeting now isn’t “resistance”... it’s the emotional root system of the self-story. Not thoughts this time, but the felt identity - the one tied to loyalty, honour, sacrifice, heritage...

When those places are touched, it can feel raw and deep, because it’s not just personal. It’s ancestral, cultural, generational. It feels like self.

“These values feel like identity.”

Exactly! These values (and the emotion around them) gave shape to the idea of “who I am” for a very long time.

“What is most clear is not to push away the experience… focusing on sensation allows the emotions to move through.”

Yes. Let it be seen for what it is: feeling, sensation, memory, movement — inside presence. Not a threat. Not a self.

“Reactivity increases (it seems), but it allows me to keep practising.”

Yes! Reactivity increases not because something’s wrong, but because the structure that held it in place is no longer defended. And now it’s allowed to come into the light.

Next time something sticky like this arises, jump right in! This is a very direct point!
Investigate it!

What does this value or emotion protect?

If this were gone, what part of “me” would feel lost?

Can that loss be allowed?

Is it safe to feel this fully, without needing to keep the identity it’s tied to?

Let even the deep loyalties melt in the warmth of seeing.

They don’t need to be rejected — they just don’t need to define what you are.

This isn’t the clean, blissful awakening some people imagine, it’s the real thing:
Seeing that freedom includes literally everything - even this. ;)

[OsitoCafe]

Thanks May,

That was - I can't put a word on it - but it stopped me in my tracks. I see the clinging now.

I can see how those values - the emotions and associated thoughts formed the 'self'.

This is very pertinent because I am living (due to husband) in a culture very different to my own and still am administratively attached to my home culture. There is a possibility that has been strongly resisted that I may need to be here more completely and now I see the ties that are causing the resistance. My mother is also unwell and likely in her last years of life so the loss of identity there has felt overwhelming. Yet, this message creates space for a new way of seeing. No self to protect, just seeing now...

What does this value or emotion protect?

If this were gone, what part of “me” would feel lost?

Can that loss be allowed?

Is it safe to feel this fully, without needing to keep the identity it’s tied to?

Looking at these questions now, those values protect an 'idea' of self but they also carry weight. They block energy flowing somehow, it feels intuitively like this.

If this were gone, there would just be experiencing so nothing lost!

Can that be allowed? That was sticky. I had to sit here for a while. Sadness, sensations. But yes. Because now I see it is all blocking the free flow of life. All the ideas and analysis are like an overlay blocking clear seeing.

To be honest these questions are short circuiting my mind. I'm just getting a blank :)

They don’t need to be rejected — they just don’t need to define what you are.

This is the knife edge for me. Not to cling, not to reject. Allow without definition of self. I see all the conflict in life now coming from this self definition. It is causing picking and choosing and blocking the flow of life.

freedom includes literally everything - even this. ;)

Seeing how strongly I cling and reject brings a lot of emotion - butterflies, swimming/dizzy feelings in head. What I am finding is that sitting with it, allowing it to pass through brings calm again even if it takes 20 minutes. It is like stabilisers coming off to bring flow and flow could go anywhere!! The mind is blown :)

[Maylson]

Hi Osito,

Yes!

Honestly, I don’t want to add much... what you shared is the response.
There’s so much clarity moving through now, and no attempt to hold it still. That’s everything.

You said it perfectly:

“Now I see the ties that are causing the resistance.”
“Loss of identity felt overwhelming.”
“But now I see it is all blocking the free flow of life.”

That moment, where the scaffolding drops and what’s left isn’t collapse but flow, that’s it.
And you’re not controlling it. You’re not bypassing it.
You’re letting life go where it wants, even when it shakes, even when it pulls apart old definitions.

“If this were gone, there would just be experiencing — so nothing lost.”

Exactly.

But even when nothing is lost, the body still feels.
Grief can still pass through. The butterflies, the dizziness, the weight... it’s not wrong. It’s just what happens when something old lets go and something new doesn’t need to replace it.

That part you named "the edge" is so clear:

“Not to cling, not to reject. Allow without definition of self.”

That’s the whole movement now.

Let the loyalty be felt. Let the sadness come. Let the memories pass.
They don’t need to be rejected, and they don’t need to define what you are.

So here’s something to sit with:

If no idea of who you are could survive this moment… is anything lost?

And also, simply:

Who are you now?

Let it hang.
Let it open the space where nothing needs to be known.
Let it burn what no longer holds.

I’m here

[OsitoCafe]

Thanks May.

If no idea of who you are could survive this moment… is anything lost?

No, emphatically no! That made me burst into tears. Very bittersweet. As you say, the body still feels.

Who are you now?

No-thing. Experiencing.

I think I'm done :)

Best wishes.
Osito

[Maylson]

Hi Osito,

Your last message really touched me. There’s such honesty and clarity in what you’re seeing, and how openly it’s being felt. No-thing. Experiencing. That says it all.

At this point in the process, we usually ask a few simple questions based on your own direct experience. I’ll be sharing your responses with a couple of other guides, not for validation, but just to see if there’s anything left we might explore a little more deeply. That’s a normal part of how things work here at LU.

Here they are. Take your time. Just answer from what’s seen and lived, right now:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

6) What makes things happen? How does it work?

7) What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Anything to add?

Whenever you're ready.

With love,

[OsitoCafe]

Thanks May for all of your help and kindness.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No and there never was. Only experiencing.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of the separate self is an idea that an entity exists separate to the rest of experience and it can direct it's own experience. This starts in early childhood when we are taught this by caregivers. We learn to see apparent boundaries in experience and label the whole experience as many different parts. We learn to join up sensations, emotions and thoughts as a separate self and that this separate self is directing things and must be held together, protected/defended and asserted. This is an illusion that causes much suffering. In fact there is just experiencing and things happen as they do. We also use language 'me', 'I' and 'mine' to assert this apparent self. The result is a constant pushing and pulling via thought on experience - the discomfort of life, looking for somewhere to land.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?

A lot of feeling! Grief over loss of ideas that felt familiar, relief as now remembering happens to allow/relaxation of holding on, laughter as so many things seem so ridiculous. Example, going for a coffee and thought says 'I'm going to carve out some space for some peace'. Who is the I? How can space be carved out of boundaryless experience?! What is 'peace' but a concept and a label? Language and thought and sensation are creating an imaginary world. In fact reality is sensory based and cannot be described. Relief - accepting the mystery. No more seeking but also accepting all things now - no hoping for a pain free existence. Seeing the beauty in this.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Something always knew. Probably looking at values - how they were learned. Seeing how subtle this creation of the 'self' is. Also sitting quietly without stimulation and really feeling sensations, a loosening occurs, an opening.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

These are all ideas. Things happen and a thought takes ownership. These ideas act has hiding places from the reality that there is literally nowhere to land. Experiencing is ever fresh, no past, no future. Just flow and this is one movement. All else is created by thought.

6) What makes things happen? How does it work?

Happening occurs. There is seeing, hearing, sensing, smelling, tasting and thinking. Sense plus a label is emotion. More thought creates a story. Thoughts upon thoughts upon thoughts = the world i.e. events, 'other people'.

7) What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

No separate self exists to take responsibility so nothing!

Anything to add?

Just gratitude.

Best wishes.
Osito

[Maylson]

Hi Osito,

I shared your responses with the other guides, and there were no further questions, your clarity shines through beautifully!

Nerina will reach out to you soon via private message with a few more details and next steps.
And just so you know, if at some point you feel the pull to guide others through this, new guides are always welcome.

If there’s anything still alive for you, anything you’d like to explore together, you’re always welcome to bring it here. No pressure, just space.

And more than anything, may this simple, groundless seeing continue to unfold in its own way, not as something to hold onto, but as what’s always been here, quietly shining through. <3

With love,

[OsitoCafe]

Thank you May.

You've been such a great companion especially when it was rocky at the beginning, I so looked forward to your clarity and calm replies.

Much love.

Osito

[Maylson]

Thank you, Osito.

It was truly special for me too.
What unfolds in these conversations is never just a dialogue, it often feels more like a monologue in the open, if you know what I mean… Like life speaking with itself, freshly, without center.

Everything showed up so alive, so new, moment by moment... I’m really grateful to have shared this space with you.

Much love!!! and always feel free to reach out, anytime.