Aloha Becca,
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
It has taken a while to see that there is no separate entity called self, me, or I and there never has been. It is quite simple and obvious. There are only thoughts and stories about a Porky. I have thoughts of the past with a Self, yet those are all just illusionary memories. There is no ME controlling What Is.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of a separate self-starts as an idea we are programmed with as children as we are distinct and separate from everybody and everything else. The illusion continues throughout our lifetime as belief, memories and thought.
Thru exercises on attention of sensations comes some realization that has led to many questions regarding the validity of the self. My current experience is that I am an energy force connected to more than I ever could have imagined was available to this entity. It continues to unfold with the knowledge that "I" am not in control and never have been.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before we started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Without a hesitation, it has become increasingly amusing and puts a grin on my face... a lot! Understanding this is some kind of cosmic joke that has never been and never will be in my control even though my ego attempts to surface and put up a fight with its fictious stories that NOW are seen through as just that. A story!
There is a big difference between what I used to see before we started this conversation. Emotions are a big issue and when they do come up, they are looked at from a more separated view as if they are just happening and not a part of me. And Now I ask the emotion, " Can I help you?
The awareness of thoughts and labels has become much more visible than before; my thoughts would stick to me and now they increasingly seem to come and go almost like clouds passing by!
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look? Was there a moment of shift with a distinct before and after?
I've been looking for quite a while with no real concrete results, just more concepts. The shift in looking has come slowly over the past few months mostly from my communications with you, Becca. Concentrating on being present, applying that to everyday events. And finally, a few days ago, I looked in the mirror and started to laugh. Like listening to a funny joke then I said, this is very funny. Nothing means anything!
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. Consider and describe each if these separately.
Decision is coming to a conclusion or resolving a question.
Intention is a plan to accomplish a goal.
Free Will is making my own decisions without outside influence.
Choice is choosing and control is power to make decisions.
6) What makes things happen? How does it work?
Taking action to achieve a goal.
We decide what is desired, then make an effort to make it happen,
this desire is reinforced by a belief that we can be successful in accomplishing this goal.
7) What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
I am responsible for being a loving, kind energy that adds as much positive energy to this existence as this reality will allow. To accept the consequences of my actions whether they appear good or bad. To follow my heart, knowing this reality is truly an illusion and anything that occurs is not really my choice but part of What Is. And I'm okay with that!
I'm responsible to wake up as much as I can in this lifetime and to add beautiful, light energy and love to this existence in whatever form that takes!
8) Anything to add?
It has ALL been said.
Mahalo and thank you from my heart.
You have truly been a blessing.
With much love, Porky
