Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

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Swallow
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Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:35 pm

Dear Newcomers,

If you are ready to look truely at who you really are, then come fly with Swallow through the Gate.
I hope to hear from you.

Swallow

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redlotus
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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby redlotus » Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:26 am

hello swallow, i am ready to fly with you, scared and eager to see what it is that is hovering on the edges of awareness ... who am i truly?
redlotus

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Swallow
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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:08 pm

Dear Redlotus,

Great to hear from you! Let's start our flight!
Could you tell me a little bit about yourself and what you are looking for.
I am looking forward to working with you.

Swallow

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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby redlotus » Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:05 pm

Dear Swallow

When I was about 6 I was painfully aware of being separated from the divine, full of yearning, then i nearly died at 9 and was devastated that i was sent back from that bliss of moving out into the light .... since then the search has continued to find my way back onto oneness ... christianity, buddhism, yoga (i am a yoga teacher now, aged 64) ... i have been doing nothing the last 18 months except yoga nidra, and have lost interest in reading or listening to anything ... just enjoying the quiet of nature ... the inspiration of each moment ..keep wondering if it is possible that there is no self. Through blogging sites about awakening i discovered Adyashanti and have listened to him, and recognise some of what he says.

I sometimes feel the whole world shimmering or laughing, vitally alive, sentient ...i an a craniosacral practitioner and am used to presence ...and seeing myself from different viewpoints ...so yesterday walking on the beach i can be the water and see myself walking or be the bushland, or the air, or the bird, and it gives me a feeling of great happiness and cant help smiling. Am i all this ... and Christine is just human being with life flowing through her ...the greatest fear is about history ... all those ancestors ...how can i break away from this pattern of being?

Freedom feels so close i am really grateful to have a guide,

Christine

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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:12 am

Dear Christine,

Thank you for your beautiful words. It sounds like you have had some deep insights and that you are quite far on your spiritual path...that will be a great support for you.
Could you tell me a bit more about the fear that you have.
the greatest fear is about history
Could you explain what this fear is?
how can i break away from this pattern of being?
Could you tell me what this pattern of being is?

In answering, take the time to speak from the heart, listen to what is true for yourself and be 100% honest...even if it might not seem spiritual. I already have a feeling that you do this by nature...which is a beautiful gift.

I am thankful to be flying with you redlotus!!

Swallow

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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby redlotus » Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:52 am

Dear Swallow

Thank you for kind reply, i do feel that you are hearing me.

You ask:
Could you tell me a bit more about the fear that you have.
Somehow it feels that if I am not a self, then who is it that descended from my ancestors who thought they were selves ... I am afraid to let the story end ... they all have their astrological patterns too ...which Christine has inherited ... can I learn to see all that as just life flowing? Even as I try to describe it I see it all dissolving before me. The problem is that they thought they were doing it all, suffering and working, now I kind of betray that view by taking a new view. I feel responsible for the family line and cannot yet see that it is nothing for me to worry about, they wanted me to be happy too, so if i am happy and free that is what they wanted really. I am sorry if this does not make a lot of sense!
Could you explain what this fear is?
how can i break away from this pattern of being?
Tradition I guess, afraid of breaking new ground, it sounds silly.Beliefs, like reincarnation, i was sure i would see some of them (family) again, that i had known them before, but if there is no self, that is all just a story. i am afraid of letting it go. i will be adrift, rather than anchored in the family story.
take the time to speak from the heart
It comes down to beliefs I guess, being willing to give up all my beliefs, my cherished little certainties, and leap into the void ...if the void is like my near-death experience then that will be fine, there was so much love and comfort i would not wish to be anywhere else ... so there is a tug of war in my heart now ... yet there is no turning back ..i can already see christine in the family history book just a part of a story :) and me, not-christine free!

Years ago my husband was afraid i would go off overseas as a missionary (i never thought i would) but i recognise it is a similar fear of the unknown now for me, will waking up change my life radically .... it could do, yet it could be that there is little change and life will continue flowing the way it has but with a new perspective.

This is the best i can do right now, it seems to me I am trying to say my fear is about disconnection from family, history, and life as i have known it,

let's keep flying Swallow,
Redlotus

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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Wed Mar 28, 2012 6:21 pm

Dear Christine,

Thank you for your message and for your honest answers.
You are doing great!

You wrote in your last message
I am afraid to let the story end
What do you think will happen when you let the story end? Who would Christine be without her story?

Could you let me know what your expectations and fears are if you let this story end?

We learn that the sky is blue, but these are just labels....they don't exist. What would your experience be if you went outside and looked up without the thought/label...sky....blue?

Take the time to sit with these questions and see what comes up.

Swallow

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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby redlotus » Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:08 am

Dear Swallow

Thinking all day,
What do you think will happen when you let the story end?
and i guess nothing will happen, Christine will be alive, life flowing through her, but free of being trapped in the old view of self with all the guilt, recriminations and desire to do better.
Who would Christine be without her story?
i imagine taking secateurs and snipping the story away like an umbilicus, i see a paper form adrift, belonging nowhere ... but thinking/feeling shows that Christine is a real human being as real as any animal or bird belonging in her own environment ...so that fear is groundless. C will not be adrift, but still embedded in life as it is, still a loved grandmother etc.

Two things, i watch the sea, waves come and go, each is unique, some are quiet, some splash and spray, but all return to the sea, human beings come and go in the same way. Sky without labels looks like life, like the ocean. Looking at it gives me a feeling of spaciousness inside.

I will keep these questions before me, and i am also reflecting on "just as you see yourself in a mirror, form and reflection look at each other. You are not the reflection, yet the reflection is you" by Tosan; I also keep recalling Kahil Gibran about children being not yours but life's longing for itself. I can let go of my family story because Christine did not belong to them but to Life.

Redlotus

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Swallow
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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:41 am

Dear Christine,

It is such a pleasure to read your messages and words. You do this work with such grace, integrity and beauty. Thank you.

I would like to do some investigating work now if that is ok with you.

I loved your quote
"just as you see yourself in a mirror, form and reflection look at each other. You are not the reflection, yet the reflection is you" by Tosan
What comes up if you replace "yourself" with "thoughts" and "mirror" with "mind" in this quote?

I would like you to look at thoughts today.

Where do thoughts come from?

Do you create thoughts?

Sit with this and observe your thoughts.....you get to be the detective!

When you have found an answer to this, if you would like, go out into nature and explain what you have seen to some kind of form, a tree, the ocean, a rock. Sit with it and feel what this means for "Christine"?

Good Luck.

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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby redlotus » Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:52 am

Dear Swallow

Where do thoughts come from? such a difficult question for me, observing, wondering ... it seems they usually come from the moment, the doing or seeing brings a thought ... but that thought might lead to another of its own accord ... no thinker ... but what about when i am puzzling something out, there is direction, purpose, reasoning ... where do these thoughts come from??? who has the purpose? who searches for direction? who puzzles? (questions for me)

I begin to see that mind can run itself, has a lot of thoughts/memories to draw on, mind like a computer can reason but i watch it, so it is not i who reasons, but the mind which is only part of Christine. Thoughts are part of being human, of living in the world. Thinking is different to being, which is still, quiet, present.

Talking to a big granite boulder in the lily pond, surrounded by Pickerel Rush, explaining, sense of being heard, Pickerel Rush moving, excited, rock quiet, deep, then an image comes of thoughts like a dark blanket around the Earth, thick, heavy ... and through that blanket inspiration shines in waves and flashes, moving, alive ... Pickerel Rush chatty, rock glowing inwardly, "this is how we see it", so I see thought not attached to anything, but smothering and blocking inspiration, which still breaks through in flashes. Inspiration touches heart, a feeling of what to do, then i wonder about instinct, and feel it in the belly. Could it be that Christine has thoughts from mind, and from this big blanket shared around the world, and not-Christine has inspiration? Still wondering but feel thoughts are not me/mine, but arise unbidden from cues in life.

Not sure if i made any progress here!

Redlotus

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Swallow
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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:46 am

Dear Christine,

Very well done!! It is not always easy to see that we are not the thinker.
I begin to see that mind can run itself, has a lot of thoughts/memories to draw on


Yes! Yes! It has 64 years of memories and generations of conditioning to draw on.
Mind is just doing its job….thoughts come up and thoughts disappear. Thoughts are like swallows : ) quickly zooming around the sky. Sometimes the sky is open and clear and sometimes it is black with movement….zoom, zoom, zoom.
Many strive for a mind without thought…thinking that this is true awakening….but that is just another thought to which one attaches.
I see thought not attached to anything, but smothering and blocking inspiration
So where does inspiration come from? When does it start? Is there someone who creates inspiration? At what point does it “touch the heart”.
then i wonder about instinct, and feel it in the belly

Explain what instinct is? Where does it come from? At what point is there a feeling in the belly?
but what about when i am puzzling something out, there is direction, purpose, reasoning ... where do these thoughts come from??? who has the purpose? who searches for direction? who puzzles?
AHA!!!!! Very good questions!!!! And you can find the answer Dr. Sherlock Holmes! So observe the puzzling out of something…..be with each thought that comes up. Thought after thought. Where does each thought come from? Is there someone behind the thought? See if you can come up with an answer.
A lot of questions to think about today Christine. Have fun….life, living is a game!

Swallow

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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby redlotus » Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:51 am

Dear Swallow

Your response was so positive and encouraging that I feel sorry to get stuck now!

I have found no good answers yet, but have experienced some interesting thoughts and feelings. It might be just busyness but that is not all ... here are some notes i have made: "trying to watch thoughts, feeling confusion, struggle, something slipping away from me, very difficult, mind does not want to look in this way, even sadness, perhaps panic ...

mind keeps flipping off to other thoughts, wont concentrate, trying to plan out introducing new yoga class, but beyond first few thoughts i get lost

try again today :)"

Maybe by tomorrow sometime I will be able to answer those questions more coherently,

Christine

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Swallow
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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:34 pm

Hi Christine,

Thanks for your message. Take your time....no need to hurry with this.
Being stuck is a good thing!! It is in being stuck that we become Unstuck, so see this as a good sign!!!
trying to watch thoughts, feeling confusion, struggle
Could you describe what the confusion is? And what the struggle is?
What are the thoughts that are appearing?
something slipping away from me
What is slipping away? And who is the "me" from which it is slipping?
mind does not want to look in this way, even sadness, perhaps panic
This is the mind...thoughts...fears... What is this panic?

You are very close now Christine. Take the time to sit with this panic, this sadness. Let it come! Invite it in.
What are the thoughts behind the fear, the panic? Is there someone thinking them? Did you create them or did they just appear?
If you have any insights you might want to be in nature and just share these insights with existence. See what comes up.


Swallow

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redlotus
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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby redlotus » Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:23 pm

hello swallow,

i saw some swallows today :) also stooped down to rescue a dragonfly from the edge of the surf and a wave snuck up on me and wet me, and i laughed and laughed, like me needing to be set free, and i had just been talking to the sea about my insights! i know it is happening :) but cannot answer yet about the struggle

when i try to focus it is too hard and i slip into being in the moment, the only way i can feel peaceful, same with thinking, cannot think things out, just do my research then wait for inspiration and act on that, surely that is how nature works, no effortful thinking but just easy flow ...

maybe answers tomorrow :)

christine

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Swallow
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Re: Invitation to newcomers to fly with Swallow

Postby Swallow » Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:30 pm

Hi Christine,

Thoughts have a life of their own....just like the swallows : )
As you have seen, there is no "I" that creates them.
It sounds like when the mind tries to concentrate and focus on thoughts that there is a shift of awareness onto sensations. Is this what is happening?
It is good to remember that thinking also happens 'in the moment'. In fact there IS only this moment, nothing else.
It is not as if we are in the moment, feeling the wind on our faces, hearing the ocean and then....a thought come up and....whoops....we are swept away to somewhere else. There is just a shift of awareness, nothing else...not good, not bad.
being in the moment, the only way i can feel peaceful


Explain what being peaceful means? Who is it that feels peaceful? Is there no peace when there is thought?

There was a crazy thought that Swallow could only be present without thinking, that with true awakening there was absence of thought.....but how can one expect a bird not to fly, a dog not to bark, a baby not to cry? This is the nature of things. Mind thinks.
And where is 'Christine' in all of this?

Sit with this. If you want to relook at any of the questions from this weekend than feel free to do that at well.
Is there anything holding you back?? If any panic or sadness comes up in questioning, invite it in, welcome it!!

Swallow


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