If you are ready, come in..

[Ilona]

Please tell your story, how you got here and what are you looking for.
I will help you through.

[MerlinC]

yes

[MerlinC]

I am 23 years old I live in nova scotia canada. I was directed here from another site and I feel like help couldnt hurt towards my finding awakening

[Ilona]

Hello monarch. Interesting name. Your highness..

I will help you to find the answer by asking questions. Your job is to look and answer with full honesty, only what feels 100% true. No maybe, seems, perhaps or other vague answers. Ok?

So what are you expextations? What is it you are looking for and what do you expect that it's gonna be like?
Just make a list of what you think the truth will do for you.


Looking forward to your answer.

[MerlinC]

well I expect to be told the truth even if it may at first be different then my views. I am looking for the end of suffering and to wake up from a very long dream. I belive that it would be like freedom but my words and thoughts on it pale in comparesen to what that would be like

[MerlinC]

well I expect to be told the truth even if it may at first be different then my views. I am looking for the end of suffering and to wake up from a very long dream. I belive that it would be like freedom but my words and thoughts on it pale in comparesen to what that would be like

see I want to be happy and at peace with life so I may move on and start living.

[Ilona]

Ok, I will tell you the truth.

There is no such entity 'me', no I at all in any shape or form in reality. It's all just a story in the head. You do not exist.

How does it feel?

[MerlinC]

well when I bring myself to that place without thought only for the moment it feels peacefull with zero content and then whosh Me comes back leaving to think about it putting labels again

[Ilona]

Ok, but please answer the question precisely. How does it FEEL when you let the above thought in.

[MerlinC]

I feel conserned and troubled

[Ilona]

See I can tell you the truth, but it's not gonna do anything unless you see it for yourself. To see it you need to dig a bit, then all becomes obvious.

Tell me, what would be lost if there was no you at all? What is it that word I points to?

[MerlinC]

what would be lost is my sence of self which is everything that makes me me I points to my indentity I,me,my.

[Ilona]

All identity is assumed, there is no real self, no true self, no self at all.
Nothing that is real would be lost. Only the beliefs in fairy tales.
If you look close at sense of self, what is it? Where is it? Is it there if you don't think about it?

[MerlinC]

my sense of self comes to me in mentle pictures and feelings about them pictures and when Im abent like when Im sleeping they dont egsist or sometimes when I watch for the next thought that comes but thares a void/space. they seem to appear out of nothingness.

[Ilona]

Is it true that me can not be found other than I thoughts ABOUT me?
Same like batman, there is no batman in real world, only in stories. And all stories are fiction.

Look at themonarch now, is he real?