Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

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Shmear
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Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Mon Oct 24, 2016 2:59 am

What brings you to Liberation Unleashed?
All started with P. Ouspensky/Gurdjieff and ever since I've transitioned to the advaita path for a few years now. YouTube mostly, some books from R. Maharishi to Tony Parsons. Love Spending time sinking into it, getting glimpses that I'm almost there, only to realize later that it wasn't abiding and the whole thing however nicely resonated, was Nothing but intellectual understanding and never peneyrated the core of my essence.
I'm clear on the idea that "self" is not anywhere to be found inside the brain and exists within ones thoughts only. How do I see it and live it every moment of my waking hour. Where do I look to discover the selfless body/mind going about, throwing itself in the mess of life without reacting emotionally.
The ego kicks in all the time and wipes all the advaita reading clean.

What are you looking for? What do you expect from this?
Expect to get help to see the reality as it without the filter of the thoughts
Get freedom from the separate self and ego.
Get the real feel of awakening without brain mere processing of the raw material.

What is your background in terms of seeking and inquiry?
Gurdjieff, non duality reading from multiple sources, Dzogchen, mahamudra.

How ready are you to question your beliefs about who you are and see the truth no matter what? 11

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Shmear
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:09 pm

I never got a guide to help with my quest, so if any kind soul out there gives me a starting direction, I'd highly appreciate it.


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Sarah7
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Sarah7 » Thu Oct 27, 2016 5:34 pm

Hey Shmear
Im Sarah and Id be happy to speak with you.
Have you looked around our site? Do you know what we do here?
What would you like me to call you or are you good with the above?
Hugs Sarah xxx
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

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Shmear
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:22 am

Hi Sarah
Thank you for sending you post.
Call me as it is Shmear.
Sarah, of course looked around the site and my understanding is that you are helping with seeing your non existing self.


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Sarah7
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Sarah7 » Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:55 am

Morning Shmear
House keeping first:
In general, I will ask questions and you look deeply and respond with 100% honesty.

Responses require simple, uncontrived honest looking. There are no wrong or right answers.

Responses are best from direct experience (the physical evidence of seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling, prior to the story or explanation about them). Long-winded, analytical and philosophical or stream of consciousness answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. Just listen very closely to the answers that arise in you, and answer to the very best of your ability at that time. Read the article at for more help on distinguishing what is direct experience: http://liberationunleashed.com/resource ... xperience/

Please learn to use the quote function, see for instructions: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

Finally you can press 'subscribe to this topic' in the blue bar at the bottom of this page and receive a notification email every time I post here.

So from where you are now can you answer the below.

How do you think, feel or experience the 'self', 'I' or ‘me’'?

For instance does it feel like its in the centre or middle of experience, is it solid or thick, does it feel fixed or permanent, is it inside the body or part of the body, does it change, does it feel uniquely different and separate, does it become more or less solid or obvious depending on experience, does it have colour or shape or texture, is it small or large, does this self own the body or the thoughts and feelings it experiences?

Is it made up of thoughts and feelings, sensations, emotions, likes and dislikes, opinions, memories and experiences, perceptions, character and personality, does this self decide, chose, act, do and control? Anything else? Is there a time when the self is not experienced?

Now have a really good look and tell me where does the 'self' that you conceive yourself to be reside? Is it in the body as a whole, part of the body or somewhere else? Can you pinpoint an exact reference point? Can it be found, at all?

Can anything exist outside the present moment? Can you find anything that does?

In your direct experience, is there anything permanent right now?
Hugs Sarah xxx
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

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Shmear
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:29 pm

It changes all the time. The heaviest presence of self is felt when the strong emotion arrives and it gets sensed in many parts in my body: throat, solar plexus, chest.
During normal states it's mostly in my habitual thinking that has to do with my egoic obsessed self. Usually thoughts of the immediate past or future.
This creates a combination of the core in my head and my heart.


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Sarah7
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Sarah7 » Sat Oct 29, 2016 8:11 am

Hey
I want you to look during your day at how labelling happens. See how many times you can catch ‘I’, ‘I’m’, ‘me’, ‘my’, ‘mine’, ‘I’ve’, etc. See if you can see what you apply it too.
Is it applied to doing, thinking etc?
Is it all the time, most of the time?
Is it like a commentary or like an ownership? Is there a weight where these words are applied? E.g. My money compared to just money?
Can you see where and when it labels - before, during or after?
Hugs Sarah xxx
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

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Shmear
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:11 pm

I can sense my I/me with all I think and touch and own.
The strongest "me is when I'm in publicly trying to impress or take ownership of deserved accomplishment.
Also when " me feels threatened to some degree : if anyone encroaching into my turf.


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Sarah7
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Sarah7 » Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:40 am

So is it possible for you to see when it labels? Before, during or after?
And is there a weight or heaviness applied to my? Like my money verses just money?
Hugs Sarah xxx
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

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Shmear
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:33 pm

Hi Sarah.
If I understand u right,
You're asking about the timing of sense of I emerging as it relates to the life events.
I'd say that neither before nor after but during or at the real time of the event.
as I throw myself into a mess of life I forget to remind myself that the self ain't real, alternately, as I snap out of that event into normal state, I tend to regain the poise and put my zen on.



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Sarah7
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Sarah7 » Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:50 am

Morning.
Have you noticed sometimes that you arrive at a destination and don't really recall actually making the journey? It was as if the body was just doing its thing, driving just happened. It is only afterwards that the mind grabs hold of the experience and states 'I was driving the car' or, if questioned whilst driving (a present continuous activity), it would say 'I am driving the car'.
Whether your mind is totally concentrating on each gear shift that 'I' make, each look in the rear view mirror that 'I' makes, each twist of the steering wheel . . . or the entire journey is done automatically, the same result is achieved.

Similarly when doing household tasks. Whether mind is involved or not, the task still gets accomplished. We call this autopilot.

How much of your day is autopilot? Just give me a rough percentage.
Hugs Sarah xxx
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

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Shmear
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:14 pm

Hi Sarah.

Ever since I started with the LU app and the site plus the audio podcasts,
My autopilot has been not as bad as it used to.
Just about until 2 weeks ago it had been 95% autopilot.
With introduction of LU, I got very impressed with the content,so i implemented mindfulness in my everyday activity. The LU gave a nice description on the 5 senses and how to see them without going to the thought. It's fun. Although, I don't feel that my sense of I had dropped to any degree yet as a result of putting attention on perceptions.
Also , it's much more automatic early in the morning and then gets better as day progresses.
So, my current autopilot is roughly 60% of all daily waking hours.

I'm glad you asked this, Sarah.

Loving kindness,
Shmear.



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Sarah7
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Sarah7 » Tue Nov 01, 2016 8:36 am

Hey Shmear
My auto pilot is not as bad as it used to be.
Bad? Is it to be got rid of?
So what is the difference between auto pilot and not auto pilot? Is it attention? Something else?

Do you intentionally bring thoughts? Or do they come and go on their own? If you do bring them from where and how?
Can you send them away, stop them or get rid? Can you suppress your next thought before it arises? Does it work?
Do you know what you're going to think before you think it? Sit quietly for a moment and try to predict your next thought. Does it work?
Do you plan what you are going to think before you think it?
Hugs Sarah xxx
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

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Shmear
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Shmear » Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:30 pm

Thank you for guiding me, Sarah.
I like how you said " try to predict your next thought.
I'm with you on that. Thought are like insidious little vermin never stop creeping in without any degree of predictability.
When I said that autopilot being not as bad, I meant that lately my habitual pattern of reaction to the thoughts is not as bad. I'm not sure if this is a step in the right direction but I'm enjoying it a lot and noticed to be more measured with sense of poise socially. I look at it and it relaxes me. Nice. Thank you LU!
This is why I decided to go all the way and get the sense of self dropped like a hot potato once and for all. Do you know what I mean?
Thank you for your guidance, Sarah.

Loving kindness, Shmear.


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Sarah7
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Re: Seeking for too long to the point that my face is blue

Postby Sarah7 » Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:21 pm

Great!
And the rest of the questions? What do you notice?
Hugs Sarah xxx
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.


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