My journey

[mclogical]

What brings you to Liberation Unleashed?:
I enjoy reading about how others feel regarding the truth of life. Introspecting and speculating the origin of everything puts me in a sort of space or ambiance that I enjoy. So I stumbled across Quora where people ask and answer each other's questions. What's beautiful about this is that you know so little about the individual that is asking/answering which leads to genuine and sincere questions and answers. At some point I stumbled on a answer that recommended Liberation Unleashed.

What are you looking for? What do you expect from this?:
It gets to a point where I am sort of passively taking part in an activity or simply just walking. Upon observing I sometimes suddenly get hit with a profound 'Oh wait I'm actually alive!?'. Sometimes this is just an instant, but sometimes it's somewhat deeper where I am about to take a leap into the unknown. But I'm scared. I back out. As I'm writing this I'm fully prepared to take the leap as I feel like this is what I must do. But it's only once I'm on the edge that I back out. This is what I want. Otherwise it would be amazing to read about how others are getting on.

What is your background in terms of seeking and inquiry?:
I've always had many questions as a child until this day. It seems like no authority or anyone can satisfy me with their answers. And as time goes on I see that I can take the question a step deeper. Leading to 'why am I here?', 'what is all this?'. This happens a lot in my everyday life whilst I'm socializing, at work or especially while I'm taking a peaceful walk. I sometimes meditate to try and find out who I am. But what puts me at peace is taking a walk alone through nature.

How ready are you to question your beliefs about who you are and see the truth no matter what? On a scale from one to ten (ten being most ready). :
9

What language do you want to be guided in?:
English

How did you find Liberation Unleashed?:
Someone mentioned it on Quora

[Lawrence]

Hello
I am Lawrence.
Welcome to this page and I can be your guide in this process if you wish
To get comfortable it would be helpful to have a name you like to be called so as to have a natural flow with the conversation. I live on the south coast of England so our time zones may cause a delay. It would be good to know where you are writing from , also, so as to understand you more.

Just a couple of things

I've always had many questions as a child until this day. It seems like no authority or anyone can satisfy me with their answers. And as time goes on I see that I can take the question a step deeper. Leading to

'why am I here?'

There is no answers to be found here regarding this.
" Meaning is only found when you go beyond meaning. Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind.”
― Anthony de Mello

So if you are searching for "meaning" here, you will be disappointed

'what is all this?'.

This is what liberation is about and I can guide you towards.

But I'm scared. I back out. As I'm writing this I'm fully prepared to take the leap as I feel like this is what I must do. But it's only once I'm on the edge that I back out. This is what I want.

It is fine to be scared and quite natural. It is allowed. It is part of the process but you will discover there is nothing to be scared of, in your own time.

So as long as you are not searching for "meaning" we can start the process.

Please confirm that you are not looking for "The meaning of Life" here and we will crack on


Regards
Lawrence

[mclogical]

Hi Lawrence!

Thank you for your reply. You can call me Hassan. I am currently writing from the Netherlands throughout the summer but originally also live in the UK - London.

Please confirm that you are not looking for "The meaning of Life" here and we will crack on

Not at all. I've speculated and looked for meaning so much that I eventually realised that life in itself is already the meaning. And that it cannot be found. So I confirm that I am not here to search for a meaning.

[Lawrence]

Hi Hussan

Glad to know you.


Just to say at this juncture re

But I'm scared. I back out. As I'm writing this I'm fully prepared to take the leap as I feel like this is what I must do. But it's only once I'm on the edge that I back out. This is what I want.

This is the body's natural protection springing up. So thank the body for doing it's job and now you can also say that it has nothing to fear in this process, because the more you look the more the fear will fall away as there is nothing for the body to fear. We will monitor this as we go. So tell me if and when the fear arises and we will deal with it if and when it comes up.

Ok. Let us crack on.
Now you have used a lot of "I"s in your opening statement . This is typical.

I sometimes meditate to try and find out who I am..

1)Can you tell about this "I" ?
2)Tell me where this "I" is located ?
3)Who is this "I" ?
4)What is "I" ?

Forget preconceptions , everything you have assumed
Don't think it. Just look
The more you LOOK, the easier it will flow. I will explain what is meant by Looking. If I held an apple behind you and asked you what an apple looks like you could think about the answer and describe it from memory.That is thinking. Looking means turning around and seeing the apple and describing exactly what you see here now.
This may seem strange at first. Take your time and let whatever falls out , fall out, no matter how rambling it appears to be.

Best
Lawrence

Regards
Lawrence

[Lawrence]

I am sorry Hassan, my eyes are a bit old and the writing is very small and realise I misread your name
regards
Lawrence

[mclogical]

Hi Lawrence,

I am sorry Hassan, my eyes are a bit old and the writing is very small and realise I misread your name

Please don't be sorry, it is ok. The name is only a label after all. The 'I' is however numerous of labels that are densely packed together aswell as ideas and thoughts. There is a sort of warm feeling present when being aware of the 'I'. A feeling of being at home, attached to many memories. But theres a deeper more subtle awareness telling me that this isn't genuine and it feels like it is ready to override the 'I'.

The 'I' appears to be located in the same place all the other existing and newly created thoughts are located. The only difference is that the 'I' has a stronger emotional presence to it also.

Kindest Regards,
Hassan

[Lawrence]

Hi Hassan

Thanks for the response. Bit of a mixed bag for starters. Try and work on looking rather than thinking the response, but this part is a brilliant start.
There is no need to write large, otherwise these posts will run into pages.

There is a sort of warm feeling present when being aware of the 'I'. A feeling of being at home, attached to many memories. But theres a deeper more subtle awareness telling me that this isn't genuine and it feels like it is ready to override the 'I'.

Great. You instinctively feel something is wrong here. The warmth of this "I" giving a false sense of security.

The 'I' is however numerous of labels that are densely packed together aswell as ideas and thoughts.

So when you write

I sometimes meditate to try and find out who I am.

.
you are saying "Numerous labels sometimes meditate to try and find out who numerous labels are "
Does this have any meaning other than as a concept ?

The 'I' appears to be located in the same place all the other existing and newly created thoughts are located. The only difference is that the 'I' has a stronger emotional presence to it also.

Fine thanks for this information but the question was where is the "I" located not who or what it is located with.

Look forward to your response, but take it easy. Relax and Look

Best
Lawrence

[mclogical]

Hi Lawrence,

I hope that everything is going well!

Try and work on looking rather than thinking the response

When you say looking rather than thinking, I understand what you mean. It's just that sometimes I don't know how to do it.

you are saying "Numerous labels sometimes meditate to try and find out who numerous labels are "
Does this have any meaning other than as a concept ?

When doing this I ends up going in circles. But sometimes a deep thrill of discomfort suddenly arises because the 'thinking' seizes. 'Looking' takes place for a split second but is immediately shutdown by fear. This has happened numerous times with not just 'meditation' but also during moments in the everyday life.

Fine thanks for this information but the question was where is the "I" located not who or what it is located with.

I can't seem to locate it's exact place.

Regards,
Hassan.

[Lawrence]

Hi Hassan

All is as it is here !
With you sense "stuff" is moving within you and there are struggles there.
Good that is the way forward.
How can you Look fully at this without thinking and running away. Just Look with the eyes of a child. Feel the present moment- no preconditions.
Notice when you look at this screen the words, but not their meaning. Look and feel your hands as they type a response, at your body as it sits below you. The sensations on your feet on the ground;of the air breathing in and out; the colour of the sky; the shapes and colours. Look at notice without any opinion or thoughts telling you what they are.

Fine thanks for this information but the question was where is the "I" located not who or what it is located with.

I can't seem to locate it's exact place.

Lets have a look at this question and answer. It is a big question isn't it ?Look at the answer ? It is truthful in one sense but only half the truth, because I know you feel it bigger than this response.There is running away from the full truth here, isn't there? Have another go.
Sure I understand that fear may rise as you face this answer fully. It is part of the process which we can discuss at the same time.
Regards


Lawrence

[mclogical]

Hi Lawrence,

I'd firstly like to mention that I really appreciate what you are doing here. I can really feel your genuine desire to help.

How can you Look fully at this without thinking and running away. Just Look with the eyes of a child. Feel the present moment- no preconditions.
Notice when you look at this screen the words, but not their meaning. Look and feel your hands as they type a response, at your body as it sits below you. The sensations on your feet on the ground;of the air breathing in and out; the colour of the sky; the shapes and colours. Look at notice without any opinion or thoughts telling you what they are.

I just took a little walk along the corridor at work. It is the point where I sort of tell my self that everything is already happening. A subtle shift takes place, where everything just happens, I starting laughing a little. But it is so subtle that as soon as a thought arises its lost. If I sit to 'try' and look there's struggle. There is difficulty with maintaining the 'looking'. But when I am looking, as soon as I tell myself to locate the I 'thinking' begins.

Lets have a look at this question and answer. It is a big question isn't it ?Look at the answer ? It is truthful in one sense but only half the truth, because I know you feel it bigger than this response.There is running away from the full truth here, isn't there? Have another go.
Sure I understand that fear may rise as you face this answer fully. It is part of the process which we can discuss at the same time.

There is a tendency to not want to investigate this, and putting it off. But as I start 'Looking' I naturally want to go ahead but its followed by thoughts too quickly.

Regards,
Hassan.

[Lawrence]

It is a pleasure to help Hassan.
It is always a two-way street, though. These processes give focus to what is happening. It is extraordinary that so many do not open their eyes.
Yes, it can and should feel like a big step, even though it is simple. As to being at the edge of a cliff. If you think that you are at a cliff edge and you are going to fall or fly, this will be a disappointment. Nobody falls, nobody flies. No-one is smashed on the rocks or flies up high into some deep mystic revelation with exploding lights.
It is just about opening your eyes and letting whatever arises within you arise. I know what that fear is and it is to do with not being able to find the "I".

because A subtle shift takes place, where everything just happens, I starting laughing a little.

There is very little that you are not understanding in this process. That you laugh as you "get it" is a classic sign of "getting it"

There is a tendency to not want to investigate this, and putting it off.

It is the fear that is stopping you from going further.
So we must look directly at this fear. We don't push it away. We look at it. We embrace it.
Your next work involves looking at this fear. Talking about it . When it comes. How it arises during the day. Not in the next couple of hours, in the next 24 hours. Write down what happens when you go into the "Looking" process. Don't just say thoughts come up. Look at why the thoughts are coming up. How the fear is mixed up with it all. How and where it arises in your body.

Best
Lawrence

[mclogical]

Hi Lawrence,

If you think that you are at a cliff edge and you are going to fall or fly, this will be a disappointment.

I can relate to this statement. However I can't seem to locate this cliff edge in the first place. I sometimes touch upon it and that's where the fear comes into play. Otherwise I struggle at locating it willingly.

Your next work involves looking at this fear.

When the fear does come, it comes with varying magnitudes. At this very moment I do not feel it. But sometimes while getting on with life it catches me by surprise and feel the fear more intensely. But when I do manage to locate it willingly its very brief and doesn't go all the way because I feel familiar with the situation and feel ready to withdraw myself. And because it's so brief no thoughts arise. I can say that I actually appreciate this fear when looking at it though. It's only trying to protect me from danger.

Regards,
Hassan.

[Lawrence]

Hello Hassan

Thank you for the information but all you have told me is when it arises.
There are some specific questions here and we need to look at them

Look at why the thoughts are coming up.
How the fear is mixed up with it all.
How and where it arises in your body.

Write down what happens as it happens

Another 24 hours please and lots of writing as to what happens

Best

Lawrence

[mclogical]

Hi Lawrence,

I am very sorry but today I did not feel any fear. There was only a lot of frustration because the fear did not come up so that we can talk about it.

Regards,
Hassan.

[Lawrence]

Hello Hassan

Well that may be a good sign. You don't want the fear do you ?

When you are not feeling fear, you need to move towards ansering more fully the question about the location of the "I", that you cannot locate.

So one or the other-ideally both !

Best
Lawrence