seeing through the illsion of self

[madinet41]

What brings you to Liberation Unleashed?:
After years of sseking i want to see the plain honest truth. want the personal sense of suffering to end.

What do you expect of the conversation on this forum?:
Expect the guide o be brutally honest and help me to see there is no self. to see once and for all that sel is illusion, the i/me that feels so real

What is your background in terms of seeking and inquiry?:
i am a counsellor/psychotherapist so help people to look at their thoughts and beliefs about themselves and so because i teach there is a self that can be improved the sense of self feels very real. i have read power of now from Eckhart Tolle. i have studied byron katie and the work where we inquire into what is true, and also studied alan watts work about the self not existing but still the seeking continues. Exhausted!

[QuantSelfLaFont]

I can be your Guide if that works for you.

[madinet41]

Hello and sorry about late reply.
I am ready to see through the illusion. I dont have expectations of bliss and constant happiness but i suppose i do expect something like peace. I have read Gateless Gatecrashers which i found really helpful but still struggling to directly see. i feel that the I is somewhere in my brain and the reason i cant see it is because its in my brain! so thats why the i feels so real.
looking forward to hearing from you soon. Tracey.

[QuantSelfLaFont]

I am ready to see through the illusion.

Great. To begin, I will share some guidelines to make the process clearer for you. Please read them and respond back to confirm you are comfortable with them.

1. This is your journey. I am a Guide. I am not a teacher, guru or therapist. We walk together and I keep pointing the way. You make the journey. My pointing mostly will take the form of questions that I will ask and you will answer.
2. I am in the Mountain Time Zone in the USA. I will read your posts in the afternoon my time, consider them, then pose the questions and make comments once per day. I would like to do this in a way you will have time to consider the questions before you respond. Please confirm back your timezone so we can coordinate this well.
3. Confirm you will be able to post once per day. When posting, you are committed to responding from direct experience (felt senses and observed thoughts). You understand that long winded analytical or philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress.
4. You commit to responding to questions with utmost honesty.
5. You are comfortable setting aside all other teachings, philosophies and “isms” for the remainder of this investigation. This means you will put all your effort and attention into seeing reality as it is here in this investigation. If you have a daily and essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.
6. Please read our disclaimer and have a look at the introductory materials:http://www.liberationunleashed.com/

The quote function helps smooth the communication process. Try it by “quoting” the items 1 through 6 back to me and confirming you are comfortable with the guidelines.

As a small administrative tip, on the bottom of the page in the blue navigation bar you will see a link that says “Subscribe Topic” just to the right of where it says “Board Index.” If you click that you will get an email when I post a response for you. I enable it and find it helpful.

I look forward to working with you.

[madinet41]

Hi thankyou.

1, I understand the process in that you merely point and you ask the questions and I answer.

2, I worked out you are 7 hours behind UK time so if you posted in afternoon your time I would get it between 8 and 11 pm which is great.

3, I am committed to posting once a day. I will respond from direct experience which I take to mean from what is actually felt in the moment seeing hearing etc and from thoughts that are coming up in the moment. my mind though will probably divert into all kinds of answers!


4, I will be as honest as possible, theres no point in not being. (you may become frustrated with me tho ha.
5, I don't meditate anyway but will put away all the books.
6, I have read disclaimer.

I cant wait to start. a little scared and excited. im noticing how im using so many I,s but its impossible to communicate without the word I isn't it?

warm regards Tracey.

[QuantSelfLaFont]

im noticing how im using so many I,s but its impossible to communicate without the word I isn't it?

That's ok. The use of "I" is a communication convention and in the LU process it is ok to use it.

a little scared

Question: What is scary about starting this process?

[madinet41]

I suppose what,s scary is that for some weird reason i feel i will change dramatically and no one will want to be around me including the people i love.
I am scared my partner will leave also! I suppose thats the main feeling that i will lose everything. Or that something bad is going to happen once ive seen through the illusion.

[QuantSelfLaFont]

I suppose what,s scary is that for some weird reason i feel i will change dramatically and no one will want to be around me including the people i love. I am scared my partner will leave also! I suppose thats the main feeling that i will lose everything. Or that something bad is going to happen once ive seen through the illusion.

Thanks for sharing this. Much appreciation.

Question: When you were a child and you found out Santa Clause did not exist, did you change dramatically? Did you lose everything? Or anything?

Thanks

[madinet41]

Hi.
No nothing lost and still received presents! But if im being really honest, a bit of the magic of xmas had died.

[QuantSelfLaFont]

No nothing lost and still received presents!

When the illusion of self is exposed like Santa Clause you will still have all the presents.

a bit of the magic of xmas had died

Ok, lets talk about the magic of self. In your first post you said:

i do expect something like peace.

Question: In Direct Experience, what does something like peace feel like?

[madinet41]

Hi
Something like peace would feel like a calm feeling in the body. No uncomfortable energy or tightness and no painful thoughts. At the moment when a negative thought comes up i tend to believe it and run with it and this is why i feel deeply insecure at times and not good enough
Thankyou.

[QuantSelfLaFont]

calm feeling in the body

Ok good.

To give an example, this is Direct Experience as experienced here right now:

Fingers in keyboard, clicks under each as typing happens. Laptop on thighs, sitting bones move a bit on soft cushion as I type. Heater hums to left front. Music from front, female voice singing. Light from upper left rear. Breath in, then out. Typing.

Exercise: Find a period of the day where you are relaxed and have a calm feeling in the body. When you are there, describe those moments in Direct Experience using the paragraph above as a model.

Thanks for the energy! Keep after it.

[madinet41]

Ok thankyou.
So... washing machine noise whirring in next room. Breathing in and out. pressure felt of phone in hand. Slight sound of bird chirping outside. Creaking of stairs heard. Slight pressure of pen pressed against fingers writing. Pressed sensation of bottom and legs on chair. Noticing of words forming on paper.
Thought appears saying " you better hurry up and get ready" !
Thankyou

[QuantSelfLaFont]

Excellent. Ok

Direct Experience:

washing machine noise whirring in next room. Breathing in and out. pressure felt of phone in hand. Slight sound of bird chirping outside. Creaking of stairs heard. Slight pressure of pen pressed against fingers writing. Pressed sensation of bottom and legs on chair. Noticing of words forming on paper.

Thought/Story:

you better hurry up and get ready" !

So going back to an early expectation about "something like peace" happening as a result of this process.

Question 1: In Direct Experience, how would "something like peace" be experienced?

Question 2: In Direct Experience, how would a lack of peace or stress be experienced?

Thanks

[madinet41]

Hi
Question 1.
In direct experience peace would be experienced as a calm feeling in the stomach and a thought "i am peaceful"
Question 2.
In direct experience lack of peace would be experienced as a
Tight feeling in the stomach and a thought "i am not peaceful"
Thankyou.