Grateful To Truly See Truth

[Ready2GoBeyond]

What has brought me here is a mystery, but it feels like the right space!
For about 2 years now, I've been heavily focus on "purpose," & "Who am I?" Reading every book or blog I could to understand more. Once "I" realized I don't have answers two those things, focus has been lately on observing, allowing feelings and thoughts to come and go without playing them out.

I still feel like there is something "I" am supposed to be doing. It feels like I understand intellectually that (after reading many posts here) I'm not ONE with everything...that there is no me, that the 'Oneness' is experiencing (itself?) and life is carrying on. I feel like, "I get it" but then it's seen that the "I, I, I" thoughts keep coming up and are being related to. How is this incorporated into the physical being that is typing right now? There is still a strong sense of "there must be some reason life is living through this body...so how am "I" involved?

My name is Amber, and I am truly grateful for a guide who would help me. I do not want to keep creating illusion, following the new-age ideas to "freedom" in a circle for many years. I am in CDT time zone in Texas =)

[Bananafish]

Hi Amber, my name is Kento.
Welcome to LU, and I'm very glad that you're eager to see through the illusion :)

What has brought me here is a mystery, but it feels like the right space!

That was the same for me when I arrived here last year.

For about 2 years now, I've been heavily focus on "purpose," & "Who am I?" Reading every book or blog I could to understand more. Once "I" realized I don't have answers two those things, focus has been lately on observing, allowing feelings and thoughts to come and go without playing them out.

Nice! Have you ever observed the observer? ... meaning, have you ever checked
who is doing the observing, or who makes the feelings and thoughts come and go?

I feel like, "I get it" but then it's seen that the "I, I, I" thoughts keep coming up and are being related to.
How is this incorporated into the physical being that is typing right now? There is still a strong sense of "there must be some reason life is living through this body...so how am "I" involved?

Why don't we start by taking a look at this?

...

Where in the body does the "I" exist? Can you locate the exact single place in which
the "I" is living?

My name is Amber, and I am truly grateful for a guide who would help me. I do not want to keep creating illusion, following the new-age ideas to "freedom" in a circle for many years. I am in CDT time zone in Texas =)

Good to meet you here, Amber. I'm very much looking forward to working this out with you.
I'm in JST time zone in Yokohama, Japan.

[Ready2GoBeyond]

Hi Amber, my name is Kento.
Welcome to LU, and I'm very glad that you're eager to see through the illusion :)

Hi, Kento! Thank you for this time we will share!

Have you ever observed the observer? ... meaning, have you ever checked
who is doing the observing, or who makes the feelings and thoughts come and go?

Anxiety penetrates my body when it's notice that "no one" is there. I find it a little difficult to express. Up until now, (while being one with all) I've seening myself as energy/an energetic imprint and that's from where...."genre" of thoughts/feelings would arise from or attract to it some matching energy. I'm not sure now, because that feels like I'm still trying to identify/distinguish a separate self.

Where in the body does the "I" exist? Can you locate the exact single place in which
the "I" is living?

I see intellectually the answer is there is no I, like this is just some hologram play/stage. But I feel a pull/energy in a location near my heart, slightly above to the left of center when I read that question.

[Bananafish]

Hi, Kento! Thank you for this time we will share!

My pleasure, Amber :)

Anxiety penetrates my body when it's notice that "no one" is there. I find it a little difficult to express. Up until now, (while being one with all) I've seening myself as energy/an energetic imprint and that's from where...."genre" of thoughts/feelings would arise from or attract to it some matching energy. I'm not sure now, because that feels like I'm still trying to identify/distinguish a separate self.

If there is no "I," is there "my" body? Or is it just a body?
Is there an "I" to feel the anxiety?

But I feel a pull/energy in a location near my heart, slightly above to the left of center when I read that question.

Is this "energy" a felt sensation?
If so, why is it that you think of this sensation as "I,"
instead of just calling it a sensation?

[Ready2GoBeyond]

If there is no "I," is there "my" body? Or is it just a body?
Is there an "I" to feel the anxiety?

There is just a body. Sensations associated with labels (joy, anxiety) are experienced through it, it seems like a receptor. From where sensations come, is unknown, same as how the body came to 'be'.

I really am having a hard time coming to an answer that doesn't lead to more questions when I think "is there and "I" to feel?" I (used as the reference point in conversation) see there is no "I" specific to "me, as Amber" that is feeling. What I find difficult is to not feel "part" of the life that flows through everything, including sustaining this body.

Is this "energy" a felt sensation?
If so, why is it that you think of this sensation as "I,"
instead of just calling it a sensation?

It is just a sensation =) an attachment to "my heart" was the association with "I,"
it seems.

[Bananafish]

There is just a body. Sensations associated with labels (joy, anxiety) are experienced through it, it seems like a receptor. From where sensations come, is unknown, same as how the body came to 'be'.

I really am having a hard time coming to an answer that doesn't lead to more questions when I think "is there and "I" to feel?" I (used as the reference point in conversation) see there is no "I" specific to "me, as Amber" that is feeling. What I find difficult is to not feel "part" of the life that flows through everything, including sustaining this body.

So, you say body is part of life.
Can you describe what it is that makes the above statement a problem?

If body is part of life, it means that body is life.
If there is no "I" attached to the body, would this be a problem at all?

Amber, what we are trying to do here is not to make things change so that
you won't feel something out of which you make a problem.
On the contrary, we are trying to understand, by LOOKing, reality as it is.

So, please just LOOK, literally LOOK,
and ignore thoughts saying something about the understanding
that came with that LOOKing.

It is just a sensation =) an attachment to "my heart" was the association with "I,"
it seems.

Nice looking, :)

Then, what is this "I" that is associated with that sensation?
Is it real? or is it imaginary?

LOOK into that sensation and see if you can find anything
that you call "I" attached to it.

Please answer this when you are 100% sure about your answer.

[Ready2GoBeyond]

I feel sure there is no I when looking. It is imaginary. Looking at a sensation that arises, just passes. There's no "me" doing anything, there is just seeing and feeling. It's laughable how simple this is!!! 8*O

[Bananafish]

I feel sure there is no I when looking. It is imaginary. Looking at a sensation that arises, just passes. There's no "me" doing anything, there is just seeing and feeling. It's laughable how simple this is!!! 8*O

Haha, yes, Amber, it IS simple. :)

It looks like you've seen it clearly, and just want to make sure if
you want any other issues to be covered?

If not, could you answer the questions below?

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Please give examples from recent experience.

6) Anything to add?


Warm regards,

Kento

[Ready2GoBeyond]

Thank you, Kento =)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No! =D

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

It seems the illusion would begin in childhood, once the "this is that & you are this" sticks. Self seems only like a grasping to make sense of "what is happening". Even in trying to pretend there is "I" here, it is to pretend there is somehow something static taking part of "life" when it's all a flow that is life.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels the same and very different at the same time, like a wash of peace. There is no nervous, "I don't know what I'm doing" background noise or feeling of being in a "wrong" place. That is impossible! Once the expectation of some drastic shift needing to take place was gone, when you last pointed to LOOK, it felt like this truth has been known but there was mind saying "WAIT WHAT ABOUT..." Where fear swirled about so often, laughter is brought in. There's no me to harm, no me to control. True freedom!

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It seems I was over already, but hanging on to an edge with what little I could cling to as "self". When in just a second it seemed, it clicked.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Please give examples from recent experience.

-Decision just seems to be made then whatever needs to take place for "action" that just happens, too. That sounds so simple, but "I" am not choosing it so it "just happens". To use an example, previously there's been nervousness about finding a job. (just bringing that up, sensations of "panic" are felt) Now, while nothing has changed (bank account status) and sensations still arise, there is a firmness..a confidence and peace that is a knowing all is perfect!! lol..laughter arises
-I do not really understand intention anymore. It seems to be something that still stems from thought. I see attention as just the looking, focused on a single "point". Intention seems to be a state from where actions can come from? Like a feeling, there is a sense of the intention when words/actions are in motion.
-Free will also has no point of reference. Life is free flowing, there is no ownership so no "will" is controlling. Or if there is, it is not "mine".
-Choice & control. Choice feels like an illusion in the sense that it's like a video game where, sure, the x,y,z buttons show variations of things happening but the game is a continual flow to the points it would have gone anyway. Control seems like perhaps "laws" of life. Beyond that there can clearly be no control as there is no controller here.


There are no questions but an openness to your response in regards to the answers above. In reading your questions, there is a knowing but when the task of putting words to it, it's a little difficult! I would love to share any questions that arise with you in the future, if you are open to this, too! =)

[Bananafish]

Thank you, Kento =)

It's my pleasure, Amber. :)

It seems the illusion would begin in childhood, once the "this is that & you are this" sticks. Self seems only like a grasping to make sense of "what is happening". Even in trying to pretend there is "I" here, it is to pretend there is somehow something static taking part of "life" when it's all a flow that is life.

Yes, life flows ... life is flow ...

It feels the same and very different at the same time, like a wash of peace. There is no nervous, "I don't know what I'm doing" background noise or feeling of being in a "wrong" place. That is impossible! Once the expectation of some drastic shift needing to take place was gone, when you last pointed to LOOK, it felt like this truth has been known but there was mind saying "WAIT WHAT ABOUT..." Where fear swirled about so often, laughter is brought in. There's no me to harm, no me to control. True freedom!

Beautiful ...

It seems I was over already, but hanging on to an edge with what little I could cling to as "self". When in just a second it seemed, it clicked.

Your honesty, sincerely, and eagerness to see made it possible.
I want to thank you for that.

-Decision just seems to be made then whatever needs to take place for "action" that just happens, too. That sounds so simple, but "I" am not choosing it so it "just happens". To use an example, previously there's been nervousness about finding a job. (just bringing that up, sensations of "panic" are felt) Now, while nothing has changed (bank account status) and sensations still arise, there is a firmness..a confidence and peace that is a knowing all is perfect!! lol..laughter arises
-I do not really understand intention anymore. It seems to be something that still stems from thought. I see attention as just the looking, focused on a single "point". Intention seems to be a state from where actions can come from? Like a feeling, there is a sense of the intention when words/actions are in motion.
-Free will also has no point of reference. Life is free flowing, there is no ownership so no "will" is controlling. Or if there is, it is not "mine".
-Choice & control. Choice feels like an illusion in the sense that it's like a video game where, sure, the x,y,z buttons show variations of things happening but the game is a continual flow to the points it would have gone anyway. Control seems like perhaps "laws" of life. Beyond that there can clearly be no control as there is no controller here.

NIce! :)

There are no questions but an openness to your response in regards to the answers above. In reading your questions, there is a knowing but when the task of putting words to it, it's a little difficult! I would love to share any questions that arise with you in the future, if you are open to this, too! =)

Why not? I'll be open for further LOOKing or discussion, at this forum, email, or whatever.

Now, I will share your answers to the final questions with my fellow guides, and see
if they have any questions for you to answer.

Please wait for a while.

[Ready2GoBeyond]

=)

[Bananafish]

Hi Amber! Hope you are having a great weekend.

One of my fellow guides would like you to answer the below questions:

1) Can you give a specific example of what happens in a "choosing" situation?

2) Is there a seer of sights, a hearer of sounds, or a thinker of thoughts? Answer from experience.

Cheers!

Kento

[Bananafish]

Hi Amber, have you read what I posted the last time?
Just to check if you haven't missed it :)

[Ready2GoBeyond]

Thanks for your patience, Kento! I took some time to really look at these questions..

There is no seer, there would still be some "object" seeing if that were the case. Life is life doing...the choice lies there, with flow...which makes it seem there's really no "choice" involved. It all just..is.

[Bananafish]

Hi Amber, thank you for your response! :)

Can you tell what happens when you decide what to eat at a meal, or what to drink if you're thirsty?

Also, can you close the eyes and listen to sounds - then tell where the hearer of sound is?


Warm regards,

Kento