looking for smudge to guide me .smudge are you there.

[alaya shunyata]

My name is alaya hopeing to find smudge to guide me.

[smudge]

Hi Alaya,

Great to be guiding you xx

First we just need to agree on a few formalities for us to contract:
can we both agree to post at least once a day, unless we let each other know otherwise?

I will ask you questions and you will respond with upmost honesty. Responses are best from direct experience (felt senses and observed thoughts). Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress.

Put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.

Lastly, Please learn to use the quote function; instructions are located in the link below this line: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660”

Then, write me any reasons you are motivated to do this enquiry and also any expectations you have about what seeing through the illusion of self fully will be like.

Look forward to hearing
Smudge

[alaya shunyata]

Hey ! Thank you..agreed to all I'm on android and its a difficult site to use but trying. OK I'm here because I'm bored of my story...so I don't want to tell it again...I'm tired as hell of thinking...and I wish to trancend ..evolve...grow with consciousness.

[smudge]

Great we are on! Tapatalk is a good ap for phones (though it can't quote BTW)

I'm bored of my story...so I don't want to tell it again...I'm tired as hell of thinking...and I wish to trancend ..evolve...grow with consciousness.

Great start!
Expectations of any kind usually get in the way..please drop them and be open to anything. Is there willingness to look at how things really are... even if its not whats expected.."evolving, growing".... etc?

Love Smudge

[alaya shunyata]

OK what's here for me in this moment is a willingness to open to what is.. ... I've done enough growing any way ..or at least enough searching for growth..actually ...when I really check out what you just said..it feels like a huge relief I feel my body relaxing and I find myself asking a question...can I actually just stop striving to arrive now ?
With love alaya.

[alaya shunyata]

PS thanks for the info I have activated notify me. X

[smudge]

Brilliant! What a crazy delusion, always seeking, seeking. Now for finding.

When reading: there is no self, no controller in there,none, no I, and there never will be and never has been. None as in zero! What comes up?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[alaya shunyata]

Firstly what happened is I had to think...then the zero really stuck in my mind...zero self no controller ever! Eallybmoving into that ..I'm mixed..a bit confused ..OK relieved ..then suddenly terrified...then oh God what have I been doing all these years then ? Extreme nihalstic fears creeping in.. peace,..fear... peace....fear I don't know what stays the most within me.,OK yes I intellectually know this is true. But I'm not experiencing it...and I guess that's the while point of why I'm here...I know this and I feel like a failure because i don't experience it..
Love alaya

[alaya shunyata]

Sorry for the spelling mistakes ...moving into that .and whole point .are the corrections to the above.

[smudge]

Thank you for your absolute honesty in the mix of emotions that come up.

what have I been doing all these years then

I can relate! all those years of being identified as a seeker, of studying the territory...Now lets actually go there!

So that we are talking from the same page of what is meant by Direct experience please do this exercise, actually do it so it is an experience that will be a touch stone of what is meant when I ask for Direct Experience (DE).

Take a sultana (or small piece of food) and look at it, now close your eyes and think about it, think how it will taste. Now put it in your mouth and directly experience it. Whats that like? What is the difference between thinking about, and actually experiencing from this exercise?

[alaya shunyata]

OK I'm going to do it ...wait ......

[alaya shunyata]

I could feel it in my mouth the juice bursting onto my taste buds..I could feel the texture of the grape skin ..OK so for me the difference is that my body feels it when I eat...Ok ..sence perception....my mind perceived eating it and then my body taste perception ate it ....ha ha funny ..don't think their really was a difference.....I enjoyed thinking about eating it more than actually doing it....there's a difference in that....its probably the first time I ever looked at a grape properly !

[alaya shunyata]

Sorry for not posting yesterday .my internet plays up sometimes up this mountain !
Love alaya.

[smudge]

the juice bursting onto my taste buds..the difference is that my body feels it when I eat...Ok ..sence perception

Yes sounds like Direct experience. Actually experienced.

I enjoyed thinking about eating it more than actually doing it

Interesting, Storyville is more enjoyable than actually living it for real! hmm

don't think their really was a difference.

Then there is an interesting contradiction?? We need to do more on the difference between Direct experience and thoughts.
So....
Here's a simple example:

If I ask, "Are your keys in your purse?" you might respond:

(A) I remember putting them there last night.
(B) Albert told me he put them there after he borrowed them.
(C) I think they must be.
(D) Let me just see (looking in purse). Yes! Here they are!

Of those responses, A, B, and C are reports about your INDIRECT experience. They're various thoughts ABOUT the question. Only D is a report about your DIRECT experience. You looked and you saw the keys. That's direct.

Comments and noticings now?

[smudge]

Just to say I am going camping today and back sunday so will look forward to your response then, heres another one o highlight the difference between thought and DE (Direct experience) we need to get this one before going any further my friend. x

Imagine you are holding a large watermelon in your hands. Imagine it so vividly, that you feel its weight, shape, temperature, texture of the skin, its scent, the hollow sound when you knock on it. Hold it there, sensing it vividly. Got it?
Now open your eyes.
What happened to the melon?