Lovely post, Hancock, happy to read it. Here are my observations :)
sitting on the sofa, looking at a picture, drinking a cup of tea, hand on ankle, smile, seeing. All this was happening without an I.
At this moment, typing the keyboard, sitting in a chair, thinking, seeing, hearing. Life is unfolding as it is.
Wonderful, you looked and you saw reality. That's it.
it's not happening to me, unless I claim it as a separate I. This still doesn't make it true; it only feels to to this imagined me, because I would be stuck in the fantasy.
Do you see that you are always experiencing the inexistence of a you? If the self isn't real now, then it never was and all happened and happens without a you managing life.
Can you see this, even when thoughts appear about you and your story? The only necessary thing to see this is looking. You can look any time, anywhere. Thoughts appear, stories are imagined and believed. When looking to reality happens, what's seen as the truth? Can the thoughts and the stories be found?
For instance, when you talk about being stuck in the fantasy, is *stuck* more than a label?
If you look now - and I see from your words that you know how to do that - what can you see in reality that can get *stuck*?
Slight anxiety also exists; the question is will this be here tomorrow.
Are you expecting to reach a permanent state of *enlightenment*? A permanent state of peace and bliss and no identification? Can you control states? How if you don't exist?
Thoughts and stories may not disappear. Can you see through them?
Welcome anxiety and other feelings. Don't resist them - it's resistance to what's here that makes us suffer.
If you look to and behind anxiety, fear, guilt, what can you see? Do they belong to you? Can you see a you here to whom these stuff belongs? Or just the sensations and thoughts, flowing freely in awareness?
That is, the question is have I seen through the illusion so clearly that I know that Santa is not a real life figure which single-handily fly around at Christmas time delivering gifts to all people.
Are you saying that you are 100% sure that the separate self it's an illusion?
If yes, what changed since you first arrived to the forum?
Looking forward to your answers,