Guidance please Delma

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Trent
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Guidance please Delma

Postby Trent » Fri Jan 03, 2014 7:48 pm

Hi Delma,
Can you guide?

My experience in a nutshell:

Steeped in New Age-iness, self improvement, Rebirthing breathwork, A Course in Miracles. ACIM led to exploration of other non dual teachings. Had a couple of sessions with a teacher on another site. He took me through some of his pointing, and I think I had a moment of being awareness. Like I was just this thing that “looks”, slightly creepy, and open, but fleeting. He’s a super nice guy, but frankly I don’t have limitless funds to keep going back when I experience “oscillation”. I’ve also done some sessions with Scott Kiloby using his inquiries on emotional states.
Constantly reading blogs, Kindle books on awakening, i.e. Adya, Mark Leavitt, Jed, Dziuban, etc... Just got the Peter Brown book you mentioned on your blog.

Have also been checking out the Headless/Douglas Harding experiments.
Frustrated, but feel I must get to the bottom of this…to know for sure what Truth is. I don’t think I’ve had the “pop” but continue to rest as awareness when I think of it, hoping it will sneak up on me.

Many thanks,
Bryan (Trent)

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Delma
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:27 pm

Hey Trent!

Good news! You don't need to rest as anything. Seriously. For the time we work together, you can drop every single one of those teachings because they are going to get in our way. Later on, after this is done, you can go back to them but you will likely have a new outlook on those teachings, on paying money for this stuff, and on dealing with emotional states at all.

Truth is: Emotional states happen. They're just not yours. What's more, they don't belong to "Awareness" either!

Something I'll tell you about this process is that it is so simple that you won't even believe it when you see it. You'll wonder what in the world all the books, satsangs, etc. are for. Douglas Harding's experiments are about as close to this work as you'll get, though. But for now, put even those aside.

If you'd like to know what Truth is, just look. <---- that is the entire "secret formula" to seeing this. If I were to tell you that you could be done in just 2 seconds, you'd likely think I'm kidding, but I'm not. The trick is that to really 'GROK' this, you need to believe your own truth, not the stuff that's sold in the spiritual marketplaces. Believe me, you are the only one who can get through the gate. All I do is point.

So, to get started, can you tell me whether any fear or doubt is coming up when thinking about there being "no you", not even an Awareness? Is this the first you've heard that "you are not awareness?"

Welcome, Trent!
There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
tabulrasablog.com
seeingnoself.com

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Trent
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Trent » Sat Jan 04, 2014 12:08 am

So, to get started, can you tell me whether any fear or doubt is coming up when thinking about there being "no you", not even an Awareness? Is this the first you've heard that "you are not awareness?"
I’ve heard other people say that “we” are not awareness in various groups. That we are something beyond. Then my spiritual programming chimes in with, “I’m Spirit”, or God is expressing through me, or dreaming a dream of a me, or I’m a soul here to progress, bla bla bla, but I can’t prove any of that.

Fear or doubt about there being no me? Hmmm. If there’s no me, then what if I end up a drooling idiot, incapable of running my life, doing my art, feeding myself, going to work, etc… If there’s no me, how is any of this stuff happening. Who are people relating to when they think of or address Trent? There definitely feels like there’s a me in my head, put it that way.

Thanks for doing this Delma!

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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Sat Jan 04, 2014 1:57 am

Good stuff you've written out there. Gives me lots to work with.

First, I should tell you that sometimes people talk about being Awareness or Beyond when they're still looking for the self to "be something". But all that's happening there is that they're trying to gain a bigger, better self. Or a more spiritual self.

This is the opposite. This is about seeing that there is no separate self at all. There is just life, living. Everything is happening with no one in control, no one at the helm, and no possible way to be spirit or soul. But it sounds like you may already have figured out that that stuff doesn't quite deliver as promised. ;)

Now we get to the real stuff. The doubts and the fears. That's some legit stuff there! Let's look at it.

Will you end up a drooling idiot incapable of running your life or doing your art? Well, if there's no self now, then there's never been one. And as an artist, I'll bet you're even closer to understanding what I'm about to ask than most.

So, here's your first exercise.

Where does the inspiration come from? How do 'you' know how to place instrument to canvas or paper in order to create what you do? Exactly how does that work?

Take a good look. See if an answer is possible. And when the answer doesn't come, just keep looking. Have you ever run the show with regard to creating art?

And then we'll look at the rest of 'your life' and whether there's a you who is running anything at all.

:)
There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
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seeingnoself.com

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Trent
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Trent » Sat Jan 04, 2014 9:00 am

Where does the inspiration come from? How do 'you' know how to place instrument to canvas or paper in order to create what you do? Exactly how does that work?
Absolutely no idea. I mean, I could say I’ve had classes, studied, there are techniques I follow…that there’s information in my brain, that’s relayed to nerves, to hands and so on…
Take a good look. See if an answer is possible. And when the answer doesn't come, just keep looking. Have you ever run the show with regard to creating art?
When you put it that way, hmmm.
And then we'll look at the rest of 'your life' and whether there's a you who is running anything at all.
Sounds good, g'nite ;)

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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:13 pm

Hey Trent,

Would you say it seems to be automatic? Do you ever look at the art and ask yourself "Where did that come from?"

Does it seem to come from a 'me'?

And now let's look at your daily life and we'll start with the very first thing that happens each day. Which of the following is most true in your experience?

"I", wakes the body and brain.
or
The body and brain wakes up.

Is there an "I" or self involved in waking the body and brain?

Then take a look at daily actions of standing, walking, brushing teeth. Is there something directing those actions or do they just happen?

Thanks!
There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
tabulrasablog.com
seeingnoself.com

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Trent
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Trent » Sun Jan 05, 2014 1:37 am

Would you say it seems to be automatic? Do you ever look at the art and ask yourself "Where did that come from?"Does it seem to come from a 'me'?
Yes, seems totally automatic, and I have asked many times basically how this happens and where does it spring from.

Doesn't seem to come from a me...just kinda pours out.
You asked me:
"I", wakes the body and brain.
or
The body and brain wakes up.
The latter, this just wakes up.
Then take a look at daily actions of standing, walking, brushing teeth. Is there something directing those actions or do they just happen?
Ok, I think I follow you… These activities flow naturally, doesn’t take a thought process to make them happen beyond the impetus to, say, go over here or brush teeth before bed.
Cheers! T.

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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:11 am

Yes. And it's so obvious once it's looked for, isn't it? It's just that no one does because of conditioning. The conditioning is to believe in a self, not to actually look at reality as it is.

All of 'your' decisions and actions can be looked at too. Choosing a partner... was there an "I" who did that or did it just happen?

And we can look at supposedly complex decisions too. What's the most complex decision you've made (one you feel ok with sharing). Some examples might be in deciding where to live, or to go to college... those decisions.

Do you have an example of one you'd say you definitely made?

Delma
There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
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seeingnoself.com

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Trent
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Trent » Sun Jan 05, 2014 10:15 am

The decision to move to L.A. from the East Coast was pretty major. Even now when I look back on it, it seems like it just had to happen. Can't say "I" made it, but I had fallen in love and felt rather compelled, and wanted a change. Maybe it just popped up here, and Trent went along with it.

Question for you… The thoughts that run incessantly in my noggin seem to be me, or seem to be generated by a sense of a me. Once awakening happens does that change? Does the mind get quiet and the self that seems to be here just gets moved and inspired to make things happen?
Until tomorrow,
T.

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Delma
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Sun Jan 05, 2014 11:58 pm

Hey Trent,

No worries. Posting once a day is fine. I may occasionally post twice, if I think of something to add, but once a day works.

Ok. As for those thoughts. Are they ever controlled? Can they be predicted? Can they be stopped? Ever? What if awakening is not about stopping thoughts, but about seeing them for the inert, flimsy, non-things with no power that they actually are. So freedom from thoughts could just mean not believing in a single one of them.

So... to the questions.... Are they ever controlled? Can they be predicted? Can they be stopped? Ever?

Take your time a REALLY look carefully. Let me know if you come across a time when they could be controlled or predicted. Just one time. We'll look at that next.

Delma
There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
tabulrasablog.com
seeingnoself.com

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Trent
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Trent » Mon Jan 06, 2014 2:21 am

No worries. Posting once a day is fine. I may occasionally post twice, if I think of something to add, but once a day works.
Hi Delma,
Sorry should I shoot for more check-ins during the day? I can totally step it up if you think it would be beneficial.
Take your time a REALLY look carefully. Let me know if you come across a time when they could be controlled or predicted. Just one time. We'll look at that next.
This is where my years of self improvement again pops up. I used to do lots of affirmations, which sure looked like they were controlled/predicted by Trent. i.e. sitting down, writing, saying focusing on thoughts for a desired manifestation or state of being.
Apart from an exercise like that, thoughts just stream through of their own volition…chattering away in my head.
Thanks,
Trent

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Delma
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:58 am

From where dis the thought to improve the self come? Do you see how we can keep tracking back? Endlessly? The very first time the idea to do something about the self came due to an event or series of them. And the affirmations were done because someone said it was a good thing to do. So can you see where some thoughts come because they are triggered by events or other people? Were the affirmations or he idea to repeat them, yours?

Any time you can post is good. We just like to say "at least once per day" because it keeps the momentum.

:)

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There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
tabulrasablog.com
seeingnoself.com

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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:31 am

*from where does the thought to improve.... I'm a horrible typist on a phone. ;)
There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
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seeingnoself.com

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Trent
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Trent » Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:56 am

Right, ok, I can see that now, how the idea to do affirmations were not “mine”. Feeling quite a bit confused around this today for some reason. I’m experiencing a lot of past conditioning and teachings that I feel I need to drill down through in a sense. Also lots of conflict, like what if this is not the way and I need to revert to a teaching to make sure I'll be ok.
T.

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Delma
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Re: Guidance please Delma

Postby Delma » Mon Jan 06, 2014 6:52 am

That's healthy. Very.

Sit with it. This isn't for everyone and it gets confusing before becoming very clear. Usually, confusion and/or fear means you're getting closer and can see a glimpse.

But... Here "I" am on the other side, so it can't be all that disastrous. :)

Is there fear coming up? We can safely look at it here.
There is no "I" doing this inquiry. There is no "I" looking for the "I".

Delma
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seeingnoself.com


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