Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening...

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sam-iam
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Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening...

Postby sam-iam » Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:53 pm

A pleasure to meet you, a potential Guide!

Been browsing through this site, and the terms of guiding process, as well as reading the available materials. I feel like I'm ready to give the LU process my sincerest and best shot incorporated with full integrity and honesty. To spice it up a bit, English is my 2nd language, but I feel I am better off to communicate and dialogue about the things ahead of me in English than with my native language (Finnish). Hence this post to the English forum.

I am looking forward to working with the guide on a daily basis -- since I am investing my time in front of the computer anyways.. Hello, my name is Sami and I am a gentleman addicted to technology. ;-) (teehee) Been walking on the face of the eart for past some +30 years, in a sense, I feel like I am well read in New Thought authors, mystical matters, know a bit or two about quantum physics, and for the past 16 years my calling has been to discover the secrets of success, happiness, leading a life of one's dreams and fulfilling the purpose of heart. After experiencing a failed long-term relationship and other setbacks, I still feel like I am not going to give in, but strive forward and keep on keeping on, to get it right. (but who's there to get it right). It is amazing how it seems like my life has been going on in cycles.. There are several years of utmost feeling of "this is working awesomely" -- only to be followed by years of seeming misery (but I believe it is in the eye of beholder.)

But the most important part, I feel, is to get to realize or understand my true nature, or hidden oneness, in a way who I am and who I am not. Get past the false identifications and other stumbling blocks on the way to have life flow freely through me, as a divine expression.. and perhaps in the process help others to accomplish something worth a while... or at least be of some inspiration to someone :)

Anyways.. If you'd like to work with me, please let me know, and lets get the show enroute. :) Looking forward to the shared journey. :)

xxx Sami :)

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:38 pm

Are you a self who has lived all those experiences or those memories are just there in the brain without anybody inside them?
Hi Jorge,

that was a mind-bending question... I or that beingness whom I currently feel is "me" has experienced/lived those events, but memories are more like filing cards in the archives. They don't feel as real as this moment. In a sense, it is like being immersed in a full 360 degree virtual-reality machine where everything happens in this moment of now. But its realness is only "real" in the moment.

-sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby dreamer » Thu Jul 04, 2013 7:11 am

Hello Sami

Let's get going!

There is no separate I, never was, never will be. What happens when reading this?

What do you expect will be the benefits from seeing there is no separate I?

Are you the thinker of thoughts?

Greetings Vivi

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Thu Jul 04, 2013 8:41 am

Hi Vivi,

thank you for agreeing to guide me through the gate, happy to do the walking, much appreciated. Looking forward to what this journey will help me to know and realize.
There is no separate I, never was, never will be. What happens when reading this?
It rings true to me on an intellectual level, although my concepts of I (or one) for that matter come from read literature (which I have set aside for the duration of this conversation and guiding). However, I lack the true and unquestionable experience of that there is no separate I -- in a sense that I feel this "I am" (or the consciousness) within me is the doer. In a similar sense, I feel we are all part of that ocean which is all there is, and each individual is like a waterdrop that forms the greater ocean.
What do you expect will be the benefits from seeing there is no separate I?
Liberty from false identifications, perhaps it will ease mental burdens caused by not knowing. I suppose I will still need to live a life, take care of its responsibilities and I won't ascend on top of the cloud. What might change is the perception, knowing from personal experience that life flows and being free from "false me". How that will affect other metaphysical & spiritual endeavors will remain to be seen, I rather make no expectations, but see how it changes my life. Think it opens up me to flow with the life and approach its daily things from a totally new perspective. But I am getting ahead of me, there is some work to be done first.
Are you the thinker of thoughts?
This is something I have pondered during the past few days. Does the thought originate in my head or do I decide what I think. And if it is not the I, then who or what. When I "mentally" look at my being, just taking a glimpse how does it feel to be me, it sort of evaporates and there is a peaceful feeling of moment...but not that feeling of I am me, rather some sort of unity with all that is or ever will be. But it seems to last only the duration of looking.

But then again, for example, when I am at work, and need to attend things at hand - talk to customers, fill in the papers or participate in negotiations that require decision making.. Then I am doing the "thinking", then I think that I am the thinker of those non-local thoughts.. A bit hard to explain.

To sum it up, most thoughts just come into my head - without me having to ask them. ;)

-Sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Thu Jul 04, 2013 3:49 pm

Hi Vivi,

knowing that I am supposed to stay away from other stuff, which I can agree, but a friend's wall post had a profound effect and felt like sharing it because it is sort of tempting:
All problems in the world are causes from humanities identification with their ego, believing everything is separate.
Now that put me on a gear to ask how does that relate to seeing through that there is no real "I". I am taught I am this, that and the other, but when observing my presence here, those labels felt irrelevant. When I was seated in the bus, on my way back home, I simply sat there eyes closed, totally without thinking anything in particular -- and the strangest thing happened. I could hear dialogues in the back of the bus, felt the air on my skin -- and okay I did ask who is this doing the feeling part. Felt like it was all unity.. somehow like I was the bus, the driver, the passengers and the seat on which I was seated. Funny experience. (Yeah, I have been doing some meditation and visualization for years).

So I have a problem, I have been reading this forum and the book, but I seem to have a problem of letting go that there is no real I... false I might be, but letting go of that identification tempts me the most... to see and know what is beyond it.. So, I am very eagerly looking forward to finding it out. :)

-sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby dreamer » Thu Jul 04, 2013 9:20 pm

Hi Sami
It rings true to me on an intellectual level, although my concepts of I (or one) for that matter come from read literature (which I have set aside for the duration of this conversation and guiding). However, I lack the true and unquestionable experience of that there is no separate I -- in a sense that I feel this "I am" (or the consciousness) within me is the doer. In a similar sense, I feel we are all part of that ocean which is all there is, and each individual is like a waterdrop that forms the greater ocean.
It is the experience we are after here, not the thoughts and what is heard, read, assumed, believed.

So when I ask you to look it means - to look right now - and not take into account what thought say ABOUT the experience. Then explain in words as close to the experience right now as possible.
I rather make no expectations, but see how it changes my life.
Good!

This is something I have pondered during the past few days. Does the thought originate in my head or do I decide what I think. And if it is not the I, then who or what. When I "mentally" look at my being, just taking a glimpse how does it feel to be me, it sort of evaporates and there is a peaceful feeling of moment...but not that feeling of I am me, rather some sort of unity with all that is or ever will be. But it seems to last only the duration of looking.
Fine experience.
But then again, for example, when I am at work, and need to attend things at hand - talk to customers, fill in the papers or participate in negotiations that require decision making.. Then I am doing the "thinking", then I think that I am the thinker of those non-local thoughts.. A bit hard to explain
Look at this in direct experience - is there a you doing the 'thinking' in these situations or is it happening and then thoughts claim 'I did it'?
Now that put me on a gear to ask how does that relate to seeing through that there is no real "I". I am taught I am this, that and the other, but when observing my presence here, those labels felt irrelevant. When I was seated in the bus, on my way back home, I simply sat there eyes closed, totally without thinking anything in particular -- and the strangest thing happened. I could hear dialogues in the back of the bus, felt the air on my skin -- and okay I did ask who is this doing the feeling part. Felt like it was all unity.. somehow like I was the bus, the driver, the passengers and the seat on which I was seated. Funny experience.
That is what is meant by direct experience :)
So I have a problem, I have been reading this forum and the book, but I seem to have a problem of letting go that there is no real I... false I might be, but letting go of that identification tempts me the most... to see and know what is beyond it.. So, I am very eagerly looking forward to finding it out. :)
Forget what you have read! We are not talking about a real I and a false I. We are talking about a separate I. an I separate from everything else. An I living IN the world.

Look in direct experience if you have a head!
Greetings Vivi

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:29 pm

Hi Vivi,
It is the experience we are after here, not the thoughts and what is heard, read, assumed, believed.
So when I ask you to look it means - to look right now - and not take into account what thought say ABOUT the experience. Then explain in words as close to the experience right now as possible.
Excellent. Good pointer because I am in the habbit of getting analytical and thinking throughly. Maybe I should be Direct-Experiencing more. I will do this as an experiment for tomorrow, asking myself to Direct Experience each moment when it comes into my mind (and I suppose it will come pretty often). Any pointers or simple mentally-done exercrises toward this end that might be helpful. Something that could be done in between moments of spare time? As a sort of game..
Look at this in direct experience - is there a you doing the 'thinking' in these situations or is it happening and then thoughts claim 'I did it'?
Honestly, I don't know. However, when immersed in these experiences, they just flow - and the thinking follows. So if that is being used as a scale, then yes, in those situations feelings and experiences just happen and then they get incorporated into the context of "I experienced this or that".
Forget what you have read! We are not talking about a real I and a false I. We are talking about a separate I. an I separate from everything else. An I living IN the world.
Okay, I am not sure if I am following fully, but I would like to experience it.
Look in direct experience if you have a head!
Just for the scope of it, looking at the direct experience of pondering this message and my response to it.. it feels a bit elementary like lets get rolling :) or maybe it was rolling all the time. :) Peaceful. Time to call it a day.

Have a good one!

-sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby dreamer » Fri Jul 05, 2013 7:31 am

Hi Sami

Yes thoughts just come and go. There is no 'I' thinking them.

How are decisions made? Are you the decision maker? Do you make choices? Look carefully in direct experience.

Do you have a head in direct experience?

Greetings Vivi

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:27 am

Hello,
How are decisions made?
Looking at my experience, for example, there comes a feeling, it is picked up by my brains and labeled as thirstiness. Remembering that there is a tap in the kitchen, I go and alleviate the thirstiness. Learned process, all in all. Where the decision originates from -- most of the times it happens without any conscious attempt to do it. It flows naturally and I move along -- in a sense as a scripted actor.
Are you the decision maker?
Yes and no. Some decisions are made automatically without much of conscious effort such as lifting an arm, but then again, I might decide to go without the water although I would be experiencing the feeling of thirstiness.
Do you make choices? Look carefully in direct experience.
Just a moment ago, browsed several restaurants' web pages in order to decide which one to choose for lunch. Then suggested couple of them to my colleaque, and we chose one of the two, and went there to have a bite. Doesn't that count as a choice? So yes, I feel I do make choices but of course underneath it lies a process of feelings, wants and desires which affect the choice making.
Do you have a head in direct experience?
I am not sure if I understood the question. I suppose you mean do I understand what direct experience is all about? Direct Experience, as far as I understand it, means looking what happens and what happens next and what happens then... instead of coming from thinking process. Such as when I read your response, it is all words that I interpret and give them a meaning (which is not, as far as I know, direct experience). But to observe what your suggestions and guidings mean, how it makes me to feel and and where it originates and leads -- might be a part of direct experiencing.

Thanks.

-sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:48 pm

Hi Vivi,

speaking of looking and taking the initiative to Direct Experience -- I have been asking this question from myself and looking what comes out of it: "There is no 'me' experiencing this, never have been, never will be. No 'me' experiencing daily events -- never have been".

This caused me to smile at myself and ask what or who the heck then is experiencing because certainly I am alive, something experiences those experiences that get interpretted as joy, sorrow, boredom -- whatever label the feeling might get. I am a bit at loss here because all my previous training and education in spiritual matters has evolved around the fact that I AM is the power within, its mystery being that I am an individual (okay, letting go of that for the purpose of awakening) but yet one with all that is. So in a sense, a compound unity of many who form the one.

But I continued asking this and looking, and all I can say it does put me in the mood of rapport and is strangely addictive feeling -- sort of like biting a forbidden apple (a conscious mind yelling at me, hey don't go there).

Am I following?

Hope you will have a great weekend and a bit of time to answer and ask some questions that will help me further on this path of discovery. :)

Best Regards,

Sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby dreamer » Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:38 pm

Hi Sami I will comment soon

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby dreamer » Sat Jul 06, 2013 9:45 am

Hi Sami

Implied in all my questions is: Look in direct experience.
Looking at my experience, for example, there comes a feeling, it is picked up by my brains and labeled as thirstiness. Remembering that there is a tap in the kitchen, I go and alleviate the thirstiness. Learned process, all in all. Where the decision originates from -- most of the times it happens without any conscious attempt to do it. It flows naturally and I move along -- in a sense as a scripted actor.
When exactly are decisions made with conscious attempt? What decisions are made consciously? How?
I might decide to go without the water although I would be experiencing the feeling of thirstiness.
Well, if you do go to the water tap, it is only a thought saying that you could have decided not to go. Isn't it?
Look carefully when and how exactly does the decision to go or not go to the watertap actually happen.
Just a moment ago, browsed several restaurants' web pages in order to decide which one to choose for lunch. Then suggested couple of them to my colleaque, and we chose one of the two, and went there to have a bite. Doesn't that count as a choice? So yes, I feel I do make choices but of course underneath it lies a process of feelings, wants and desires which affect the choice making.
You feel you do make choices, ok, is that the habitual way of thinking it is happening or is it actual direct experience?

When and how exactly do choice happen and how are you involved in the choicemaking?

Is it thought claiming: I made a choice?

Do you have a head in direct experience?
I mean it literally.
What is the direct experience of 'my head'. Have you ever direct experienced 'my head' or is it thoughts saying 'of course I have a head'. Looking in the mirror seeing a head - do you direct experience it is your head or is it a head in the mirror, that thoughts name as 'my head'? What is the direct experience? Can you actually find the direct experience of having a head? What is it? If not, what is the direct experience then?
This caused me to smile at myself and ask what or who the heck then is experiencing because certainly I am alive, something experiences those experiences that get interpretted as joy, sorrow, boredom -- whatever label the feeling might get. I am a bit at loss here because all my previous training and education in spiritual matters has evolved around the fact that I AM is the power within, its mystery being that I am an individual (okay, letting go of that for the purpose of awakening) but yet one with all that is. So in a sense, a compound unity of many who form the one.
Look, are you alive or are you life?
Can you find an experiencer in direct experience or is it simply experiencing?

Good job !

Happy weekend
Vivi

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Sun Jul 07, 2013 3:42 pm

Hi Vivi,

thanks for a great posting, read it yesterday, but started answering today. Then accidentally closed the window, and lost it, but will re-write my answer within few hours. Hope you have had a great weekend!

-sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby sam-iam » Mon Jul 08, 2013 2:17 pm

Hi Vivi,

alright, back to business with full throttle; hoping you had a great weekend! I must admit that I am feeling a bit perpexled by taking direct experience to these questions, but I won't so much try to think and rationalize about them, but instead get a glimpse of the experience underneath.
Implied in all my questions is: Look in direct experience.
Ok. Unless otherwise instructed, I will keep this as a default approach when responding to guiding questions.
When exactly are decisions made with conscious attempt? What decisions are made consciously? How?
Looking at it, those decisions which are agreed earlier and have become a part of one's "ego" or knowing. But even underneath them is the being which is doing it and I Am only tends to want to own it. But then again, if I observe it purely what happens, it is just the being within me that does it quite naturally. The I am/Ego might seemingly call the shots, but my being seems to be where all the action is.
Well, if you do go to the water tap, it is only a thought saying that you could have decided not to go. Isn't it?
Look carefully when and how exactly does the decision to go or not go to the watertap actually happen.
The decision happens in the now and it flows from the being -- and often it happens on its own, without much of conscious thinking per se. But I guess you're right about that it is only a thought that questions the fact that I could have decided otherwise.
You feel you do make choices, ok, is that the habitual way of thinking it is happening or is it actual direct experience?
Well, for example, a friend called and asked if I could come and help with the computer problem tonight. Looking directly at what happened was a feeling of wanting to extend a hand. There was realyl no ego in it, rather just presence and desire to do it. But doesn't that count to making a choice.. Oh yes, there is again that thought which says I could have declined...but that I didn't feel need to do. So if it is habitual-based reaction, then I would ask can you further help me to see through it, please?
When and how exactly do choice happen and how are you involved in the choice making?
That caused a bit of mindblowing -- but my direct experience is that sometimes it is as if the ego says I want to do this, but after that as I look at it in Direct Experience there is no "I amness" just my beingness which does it, it flows quite naturally. Of course diving deeper into what happens when "I amness" decides it, there is a feeling from the being involved that the brain then translates and gets owned by I am. So I guess ultimately it all flows from the being, but I am still a bit unwilling to completely say that my ego has no say to it. But willing to change this opinion as I am proving myself wrong. :D

A funny thing, a biblical thought popped into my head from the unseen depths -- reminding me of a passage, "my father that abides in me doeth the work". :D So that kind of rings true since it looks like "I am me who is doing it" is only a shadow which maybe hides underneath the real doer, the being or the presence that I can feel to be very real, but only in this moment of now.
Is it thought claiming: I made a choice?
Yes, and no. I feel it more from the beingness or presence.
What is the direct experience of 'my head'. Have you ever direct experienced 'my head' or is it thoughts saying 'of course I have a head'. Looking in the mirror seeing a head - do you direct experience it is your head or is it a head in the mirror, that thoughts name as 'my head'? What is the direct experience? Can you actually find the direct experience of having a head? What is it?
Yes, I can find a direct experience in my head. It feels a bit empty in a sense that what I see, it only interprets it into words or conscious concepts that I can then associate etc. etc. But it seems rather "lifeless" place in the sense that it is my being or presence that is alive. It feels like a major thinking machine with a huge memory bank, but that's about it. The being or presence I feel in my torso-region upward to the end of the skull... but I don't feel I am this body, but rather that this body feels like a vehicle that my presence is occupying for now.. You know, like in out of body experiences, your beingness feels the same although the body is laying on the bed, moveless, but your presence feels the same in spite of the fact that you are not in your body.
Look, are you alive or are you life?
I don't see a difference between these two, although I try to ask what in my direct experience would it be. Alive seems more like thought that is owned by ego... but life is all there is to being alive. Now that is a thought too, but I really can't make a difference between those two.
Can you find an experiencer in direct experience or is it simply experiencing?
It is that beingness within that is alive that is the experiencer, but do I let my ego to take the credit if I say so? When I am simply experiencing, things just flow... but if I start looking at experiencer, the thinking gets its part right away... so in that sense, it is simply experiencing -- and experiencer mode seems to get the head involved.

Thanks again :)

Best Regards,

Sami

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Re: Looking for a Guide to work with and share my awakening.

Postby dreamer » Tue Jul 09, 2013 7:38 am

will answer later today


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