Request for a Guide

[Ngapa]

Hello, I am asking for a guide, please. I am in the UK, so a UK guide may be preferable.

I have read the requirements, the one which concerns me is that in July I am going on holiday for 10 days and do not know if I will be able to post on each of those days - whether internet is available. But it probably is, and who knows I may be done by then!

Thanks.

[Nina]

Hy i am Nina would be pleased to walk with you

Nina

[Ngapa]

Nina, thank you!

[Nina]

There are a few ground rules, please respond to confirm:
1. You agree to post at least once a day.
2. In general, the guide will ask the questions for you to respond to
3. Responses require your utmost honesty
4. Responses are best from direct experience (felt senses and observed thoughts). Long-winded analytical
and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress.
5. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this investigation. Really put
all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and essential meditation
practice, it is fine to continue that.
6. Please learn to use the quote function; instructions are located in the link below this line:
http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... ?f=4&t=660”

If you agree to the above will be happy to start the process.
First question is about your expectations about this process. How have you found us and what does this mean to you.
I will respond each day if you have holiday ect that is fine i would give you just one question to think about when you are away. Any breaks can slow down the momentum so i would suggest print out the book G.G there is a link and take it with you.

Wish you well

Love and Light.

Nina

[Ngapa]

I agree to the 6 points.

print out the book G.G there is a link and take it with you

I have just got the book on my iPad.

A friend told me about the site a couple of days ago (that's what I call a friend), she has just got a guide.

In this process I am wanting the questions that count, and you to press me where I don't see clearly, or if I back off.

What this means to me? I asked myself once what I really wanted, and the answer came: not to have to worry about myself. I can see how a strong sense of self is a source of my suffering in various ways, what I can't see is how it would be without this. So my expectations are for some lightness and freedom from conflicting thoughts, greater openness to others, and for a leap into the unknown.

[Nina]

Great have you got any anxiety or concerns about the process?
If so just share a little with me and i can see what questions would be best to ask.

Love and Life

Nina

[Ngapa]

One concern is that relieved of the self-image of 'having to be responsible and fulfil my duties' I might not do what's needed - in other words my anxieties are necessary to drive me. Sounds like ego defending itself, so to speak. And that generally I wouldn't carry on doing the things which (currently) are important to me to do. But then if they were still important I would do them, wouldn't I? So I can't find much that would raise great resistance to the process. And my motivation to do this is strong: if I didn't take this chance of a such definite step, I could never look myself in the navel again.

I am 63 and have looked at my experience in formless meditation for 13 years. Clarity continues to increase, but obviously not enough yet.

[Ngapa]

In meditation I notice (when I check) that I can't find anyone seeing, just what's seen, same with sound and sometimes body sensations. Logically I'm clear too that any awareness must intrinsically have a form and known-ness, it doesn't need an object and a subject. I notice this in my experience when I look at thoughts, which seem as though I produced the thought - yet I also think I heard the thought. It can only be a single thing, just the thought, no thinker needed.

But it often comes down to me reminding myself that this is the case, rather than spontaneously having that experience. And I can easily take body sensations as being "me", and thoughts too. I never see myself or hear myself as if from outside, but I think of myself in that way, not noticing my actual experience. How to get more honest?

[Nina]

I am now back from a few days away hope you are having the lovely sun shine as well.
Let us continue with a question.

“What comes up when it is read that there is absolutely no “you” in any way, shape or form, there never
has been a “you”, nor is there or will be there ever be?”

Try to put down your first thoughts and try not to write about what you have read or issues of religion ect .
If you have any concerns or anxiety about this just write them down and we will break down the process into small chunks.

Thank you
Love and Light
Nina

[Ngapa]

“What comes up when it is read that there is absolutely no “you” in any way, shape or form, there never has been a “you”, nor is there or will be there ever be?”

First of all, no experiential response; to read someone saying that is merely to repeat information I have already entertained (and which is right now just information, not how I see things).
Then I think that what I thought was Me is going to be taken away, and I'll lose it. Lose my possessions, my aims, my investment in being someone, even my desires and attachments... Obviously there's stuff there that I'd be happy to lose too! What I've read on this site seems all about the journey, not the destination. I wonder if the value of this list of my reservations is mainly for me to laugh at later.

Reading your sentence again, it could be amazingly freeing, but I cannot imagine how it would be to live in that understanding.

[Nina]

"What does the word "I" or "me" point to, here and now?"

Then I think that what I thought was Me is going to be taken away, and I'll lose it. Lose my possessions, my aims, my investment in being someone, even my desires and attachments... Obviously there's stuff there that I'd be happy to lose too! What I've read on this site seems all about the journey, not the destination. I wonder if the value of this list of my reservations is mainly for me to laugh at later.

That is a great start in our walk together look at what you wrote and then from direct experience can you point to this I that you suggest is real.

my aims, my investment in being someone, even my desires and attachments..

Can you look at what you wrote about , investment in being someone. can you point to this can you see it,
were is this.

Please look at this from your direct experience what you see, what you hear, what you feel what is real.
write down what you find out.

Love and Light
Nina

Nina

[Ngapa]

Then I think that what I thought was Me is going to be taken away, and I'll lose it. Lose my possessions, my aims, my investment in being someone, even my desires and attachments...

These are all thoughts and feelings, aren't they? "I have things I could lose, thoughts about "me", and aims, plans, desire-thoughts...", "I wonder, I read..."
So are they true? Is there an I that has things, that thinks thoughts, could invest in itself? Looking now, there is not. Thoughts just are, when they are, and not when they're not.
Doesn't it cause a lot of effort and trouble, thinking that there is an I?

Apart from habit, there seems to be an intention behind some thoughts, to find peace, maybe truth? I suppose that's a thought analysing thoughts.

"I" is a way of thinking which produces an idea of separation that isn't really there.

"What I thought was me" is my self-image, which includes possessions, preferences, poems, all sorts. What a habit it is to defend this!

Over the last few days the thought often came up to look at whether I feel there is an I in this present situation. It did, each time. And I'm at home now surrounded by things I see as mine - which could be restated as things which when thought of, trigger the thought "mine".

Also I have had bad toothache which I thought of as happening to me, being me. Even though last year I had stomach pains which just seemed to be sensations with no-one to "have" them, so I know it is possible to distinguish thinking from direct experience. Asking the same question did not clarify the toothache in this way.

Appreciating your kindness and clarity.

[Nina]

These are all thoughts and feelings, aren't they? "I have things I could lose, thoughts about "me", and aims, plans, desire-thoughts...", "I wonder, I read..."
So are they true? Is there an I that has things, that thinks thoughts, could invest in itself? Looking now, there is not. Thoughts just are, when they are, and not when they're not.
Doesn't it cause a lot of effort and trouble, thinking that there is an I?

Lets start from what you looked at, you are on the right path doing well. From your direct experience ask yourself the question below, dont be anxious first thoughts are best.

What comes up when it is read that there is absolutely no “you” in any way, shape or form, there never
has been a “you”, nor is there or will be there ever be?

if you have any worries or problems just tell me we can look at things from many different ways.

Love and Light
Nina

[Ngapa]

My first response this morning is that it is inconceivable. I can't hold any concept of how it is then, if there is no me. It also seems timeless, if there never has been a me, there never was that timeline of a story about me.

Last night meditating:
"I am sitting here" - is that true?
Attending to direct experience reveals everything BUT an 'I' sitting here -
the sights that I am supposed to see
the sounds that I am supposed to hear
the sensations that I am supposed to feel
the thoughts that I am supposed to think
the emotions that I am supposed to feel
the likes and dislikes that I am supposed to have...
...but no I doing any of that.

Yet again this morning, toothache caught me up in believing thoughts, or taking them more seriously than the seeing that they are thoughts.

[Nina]

My first response this morning is that it is inconceivable. I can't hold any concept of how it is then, if there is no me. It also seems timeless, if there never has been a me, there never was that timeline of a story about me.
There is Thoughts, There is seeing, there is only Now.

"What does the word "I" or "me" point to, here and now?"
or
"When you say "I", what does that refer to in direct experience? Please describe in detail – does it have a
shape? A size? A quality?"
Can you find this I is it real?

Love and light
Nina