i need a guide...

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Anya
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i need a guide...

Postby Anya » Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:05 pm

Hi.

I've been throught a lot of crap recently and i'm completely fed up of pain, suffering and disappointment. I've experienced some dissolving of my belief system but some patterns are still very strongly rooted i guess and identification with ego is still there and strong at times... i really need to change the perspective. Please help.
Thank you.

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:08 pm

Hello Anya,

Have you read some of the threads here, the book " gateless gatecrashers" and the rules of engagement here? I would be happy to guide you if you so wish.

My name is Sunil.

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Anya
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby Anya » Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:18 pm

Hi Sunil,

Yeah, i read some of the threads... and rules but didn't have a chance to read the book yet.

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:43 pm

Hi Anya,

Go through some of that book and come back with how you feel when you hear of our main purpose here that is to see that there is no you, yours or self?

Also confirm for me that you read the rules and you will post once each day based on direct experience. Take your time.

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Anya
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby Anya » Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:51 pm

Hi Sunil,

I was just thinking that it would be good idea to read at least some of the book before the chat :) just downloaded it now. Let me dive into it and will get back to you soon.
Regards

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Anya
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby Anya » Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:52 am

Hi Sunil.

I read the book.
No need for a guide anymore.
Thank you :)
Loads of love,
Anya

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Wed Apr 24, 2013 4:49 pm

Hello Anya

Would you be I interested in joining our facebook group?

Regards

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Anya
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby Anya » Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:44 pm

With pleasure Sunil!!
xx

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:07 pm

Great, Anya. To become a member and invited to attend, LU has to establish if you have seen the wisdom of no self.
We have developed the following questions which helps compare notes. If would like to answer these at your own leisure, then I will pass them on to our group.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.
6) Anything to add?

Thanks.

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Anya
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby Anya » Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:09 am

Hi Sunil,

Let's go straight to the point!:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

hahaha, NO! THERE ISN'T!! AND NEVER WAS!! No separate 'self', 'me', or 'I' in any shape or form!! I've looked and looked and it is nowhere to be seen...

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is built during the childhood when people are conditioned to believe that we are our bodies, that we have control over events in life, that 'you' are 'you' and 'me is 'me' and 'we' are different and we need to compete and compare, that we need to be loved by 'others', that we need things to be happy, that we are not complete...that 'we are what we think', 'we think therefore we are' etc. That makes people see labels and stories instead of seeing life for what it is. It is like a fog, like living in illusory labirynth...

Children should be taught that there is no separate self, that we are the Life living Itself, we are not thoughts or feelings, there is no 'I', there is no 'you', there is only Existance looking at Itself, 'you' don't see through 'your' eyes, the seeing is happening through the eyes...

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Seeing the reality for the first time is so damn liberating!! its like waking up from a dream, looking at everything with fresh eyes... i sat by the sea today, looking at waves and birds and sky, hearing conversations of people passing...i felt like i've never seen it before... no labels, just seeing it for what it is: the flow.
All senses so sharp... and the feeling that this experience is not 'mine' it's just the part of that flow is absolutely incredible, like the head expanded to unmesurable size... i can't really describe it in words...

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

There was a series of events within last few months that triggered the process. those were very painfull experiences but the last one was a fell out with my bf. Then i truly realised that people are not what i want them to be, things are not what i expect them to be. Things are what they are and i want to see them for what they are and not through the filter of my expectations and beliefs... it was very intense and very painful experience but it made me scream for the truth. I really wanted to step out from the illusion because i realised i was living in illusory world created inside my head. I was living in "my story" and it was absolutely freeing to see that it was "my story" that suffered and hoped and believed and was dissapointed etc. The veil has lifted. no more expectations, no more hopes, no more resistance, no more judgement... surrender. this is The Flow, this is The Life and it is what it is.

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.

Trying to control events create resistance which in turn create suffering. It's like trying to swim up the waterfall.
Plus it means that there is a certain belief about current situation, judgement about present moment that it isn't what it should be, which must come from the illusory self, because the Flow is what it is, there is no judgement attatched... all that happens is just a part of the same, great movement, just go with the Flow, enjoy the experience, enjoy the senses and let Life live itself through you...

6) Anything to add?

Yes: Thank you :)
There is nothing more that could be done for humanity than what you guys are doing. I'm gonna stick with you and spread good 'news' as far as I can... it feels like doing anything else would be just a waiste of time... xx

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:14 am

It was lovely Anya.

I will ask some of colleagues if they have any questions.

Thank you.

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Fri Apr 26, 2013 4:55 am

Hello Anya:

One of our guides was wondering if you could elaborate on your statement at the end of q5, "enjoy the senses and let Life live itself through you...."

Is there a you who would be the vehicle for living life? Who or what is that? Can you find here?

best wishes

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Anya
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby Anya » Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:11 am

ok. When i said "let Life live itself through you" i ment the phisical body and its senses. Not the story of the body but actual sensations that body experiences in every moment... i don't know...does it make sense?
LIfe doesn't have/need a vehicle, it is a vehicle for itself... if there was a vehicle for living life that would mean there is something utside of life which is needed by life to live itself, which can not be for there is only life. everything that exist IS part of existence.

Eh Sunil... i woke up in the morning and there was so much anger and impatience! My little daughter was moody in the morning (as usual) there was a worry that we'll be late for school and old patterns just kicked in! they just took over instantly! it took about 10 min (!!!) to realise that its the story of "me" in working... ah, that brought relief along with feelings of failure and guilt that i'm doing something wrong, that i've lost something, that i'm back to the old patterns... and then again the realisation came that there is no 'me' to feel guilty, there isn't anyone to lose anything, its just feelings that arose and will leave soon... realisation that 'my story' was an angry one and the old patterns are there and very strong and they can just kick in in no time! it was strange to observe it... this anger arising and heart rate speeds up and hormons going high and voice getting louder... the whole body system just reacted automaticaly to the situation... it was there and very real... will this patterns dissolve with time?

hugs xx

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:20 pm

Yes, Anya. It will dissolve with time. Life will always throw much suffering your way but there will be, is, no one to receive them.

Curious you experienced that as one of our guides was concerned that your recent suffering may have temporarily put you into a renunciation phase. Please do keep a vigil and let me know if there are serious doubts within you.

Best wishes.

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kvotski
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Re: i need a guide...

Postby kvotski » Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:23 pm

Oh, one mentor of mine asked if you could recall ad describe the moment you felt the pop so to speak. You are special in my experience here as I did nothing for you. Was the book an influence or was it entirely divine intervention...


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