A humble request for guidance.

[trajan]

Coming to this forum with complete gratitude, an open mind, and a curiosity to see what is possible. Thank You -T

[open space]

Hello Trajan,

Welcome. Love all that you are bringing including the curiosity, that is the key.

I'm happy to be your guide if you wish.

If you haven't already seen it, there is intro info here, our disclaimer and a short video too.

http://www.liberationunleashed.com/

If you could confirm you have seen all the above and would like me to be your guide - then we shall begin.

best wishes,
Coll

[trajan]

Hello Colleen. It is confirmed. We are good to go.

[open space]

hello Trajan...
love it, good to go, beautiful...get your seatbelt on or not:), it is a beautiful view and experience from here.

before we go, here are a few guidelines:
~agree to post daily or post to say if a break is needed;

~set aside any other spiritual practices during our inquiry together...
look within for your own answers,
when the mind finds it on it's own, it finds it's own direct path in that no one
else can give it directions to.

~commit at this time to begin looking for this separate self "I" and notice what you find through out the day

let me know if you can commit to the above?

If you do agree to the above....
Could you share a little of what brought you here,
what your expectations are for our inquiry, and any concerns/fears about that
and why you want to see through the fiction of the apparent separate self?

in love,
Colleen


.

[trajan]

Thank you so much Colleen. My seatbelt is on ;)

I agree with your guidelines and can abide by them with no problem.

Could you share a little of what brought you here,
what your expectations are for our inquiry, and any concerns/fears about that
and why you want to see through the fiction of the apparent separate self?

I am fascinated by the introduction of technology into the unfoldment and awakening process. Finding this site I felt I wanted to take part in some way even if just as observer. I literally have no expectation whatsoever. No concerns or fears either. I feel that I have seen through the self. I understand and experience that the self is an illusion and the observer is also nowhere to be found. My current experience of the self is that it is too limited and confining to be of use to me or anyone else. I see that each moment is part of an infinite unfolding of some kind. This unfolding continues and has brought me here.

-T

[open space]

thank u Trajan,

love you found LU or it found u:), it sounds like you came to share in what you have seen and
without expectations which helps supports a direct way in to experience this.

I hear you have seen through the separate self...
will you share here in detail how you came to see this and
how that is experienced for you in your daily life?

My current experience of the self is that it is too limited and confining to be of use to me or anyone else.

how is something that is an illusion, this separate self be limiting and confining?

w love, Coll

[trajan]

I hear you have seen through the separate self...
will you share here in detail how you came to see this

When I was 27 years old I was thrown into the deep end of the pool. I was diagnosed with a life threatening disease and many other major events happened in my life. These events along with many hours of meditation have allowed me to see the illusion of separate self. Trial by fire with some refinement I guess you could say. I am 40 now.

and how that is experienced for you in your daily life?

In daily life it is experienced simply as events unfolding with no pushing or pulling and no need to direct the process. The body and mind continue in their effort to survive, the ego is still there protecting the body. But there is no desire or need to identify with the body or the ego.

how is something that is an illusion, this separate self be limiting and confining?

Trying to believe the illusion of ego and separate self now feels like trying to put on old shoes that don't fit anymore. That is what I meant by limiting and confining. It is still possible to identify with my body, my thoughts, etc. But it takes effort and feels limiting. It is much more real to see the entire space, all its content, and the void behind it that makes it all possible.

With all this there is still a curiosity as to the limits that still do exist. The vague boundaries of experience that seem to point to a unique self. For example when I am in this room, I experience this. When I move outside I experience that. There still seems to be a unique set of unfolding that has some type of experiential boundaries. This I cannot explain yet.

[open space]

I was diagnosed with a life threatening disease and many other major events happened in my life. These events along with many hours of meditation have allowed me to see the illusion of separate self.

beautiful, often events i find in life are an invitation to look to one's absence.
love u r still here and yet not when this is seen thru...another way of BEING here...

when you saw thru the separate self explain what the experience of that is...is this "I"
or "me" locatable, or has it ever been?

In daily life it is experienced simply as events unfolding with no pushing or pulling and no need to direct the process.

is there a doer or controller that can push or pull and direct the process?

There still seems to be a unique set of unfolding that has some type of experiential boundaries. This I cannot explain yet.

[/quote]

what if all we are is "experiencing" and that is all that has ever happened, we just thought "we" were doing it or had something to do with it...whatever arises, eg. boundaries is just happening through us?

look forward to hearing from u.

~Coll

[trajan]

when you saw thru the separate self explain what the experience of that is...is this "I"
or "me" locatable, or has it ever been?

The I or me in the traditional and /or personal sense does not exist. There is only "all that is".

is there a doer or controller that can push or pull and direct the process?

"All that is" continues to do the pushing and pulling on its own. To will is only another link in the chain of the unfolding.

what if all we are is "experiencing" and that is all that has ever happened, we just thought "we" were doing it or had something to do with it...whatever arises, eg. boundaries is just happening through us?

All possible... Let me ask you some questions...
You ask "what if whatever arises is just happening through us?"...
But... Is anything happening through us? Is there an us that is separate from the happening?
And if the answer is NO and all we are is "experiencing" then is there a plan or some type of order to all these experiences that arise? Is there a source to the events that cause experience?
Or is it all just a bunch of random events that have no meaning, no purpose, and no owner!!?

-T

[open space]

yes all that is is creative perfection and "no one" is doing it, not even the thoughts,
have you noticed, there is no "critic", never was?

is there a plan or some type of order to all these experiences that arise? Is there a source to the events that cause experience?

who is planning or organizing this?
What if it is creation itself without boundaries or conditions?...what is there before "I"?,
find sitting there, the answer to this comes...what is experienced there?

Is there a source to the events that cause experience?
Or is it all just a bunch of random events that have no meaning, no purpose, and no owner!!?

all that can be known is the experience of "this" and then that even changes...watch the mind...it loves to distract and want to know,
let it speak and then come back to the "experience of this" that is there all the time, timeless and so meaningful if there were words for it.
can u experience that now, as thoughts come and go and find "no one" to land on?

[trajan]

can u experience that now, as thoughts come and go and find "no one" to land on?

yes

[open space]

is there a plan or some type of order to all these experiences that arise? Is there a source to the events that cause experience?

and from your yes...
1) what did you experience here,
is there anyone who is organizing this or who is separate from any of it?

2) when you walk thru your day, open your eyes, get out of bed, look outside,
brush your teeth, speak to another, eat...are you doing it?

3) when thoughts happen thru out the day are you doing them?


i am pst in US xmas eve...cheers to where u are and whatever meaning that is for u.
will check in today again to open any more gifts to look at.
let me know if u want to check in for xmas, i am here or can wait until the day after.
~loving, Coll

[trajan]

Hello Colleen. Back from X-Mas ... Hope yours was fantastic.

1) what did you experience here,
is there anyone who is organizing this or who is separate from any of it?

Even though I can acknowledge that my smaller self, or ego / body is not the initiator, it seems there is a presence somewhere, or a focal point that can shift and be aware of this or that.I would venture to call this "consciousness" perhaps. It seems to exists and perhaps organize events in a certain fashion. This probably sounds vague, but it is also vague in my experience right now. Perhaps needs to be explored more.

2) when you walk thru your day, open your eyes, get out of bed, look outside,
brush your teeth, speak to another, eat...are you doing it?

The short answer is yes.

The other short answer is no.

The longer answer would go something like this... Something is happening. Something is also aware of what is happening. Something is doing. Something is also aware of the doing. I am able to experience these two things simultaneously, doing and experiencing. In other words I can see doer and experiencer, as being the same thing. What this leaves is only the event happening. And therefore a series of events with no need to apply an identity or owner to the events.

3) when thoughts happen thru out the day are you doing them?

This question is the same as the second question, therefore it has the same answer.

[open space]

HI Trajan,
happy new yearing into 2013, love u are here and
back. Sorry for the delay as well, did not see you were here
until yesterday so here I am now to look if there is anything else to see...
saw you wrote...

it seems there is a presence somewhere, or a focal point that can shift and be aware of this or that.I would venture to call this "consciousness" perhaps. It seems to exists and perhaps organize events in a certain fashion. This probably sounds vague, but it is also vague in my experience right now. Perhaps needs to be explored more.

lets see if it is "vague"...
is there an organizer? who is organizing this? what do you find, experience?

~love. coll

[open space]

also Trajan,
if you want to spend time looking here today to see
what is left for the new year,
happy to be here to guide thru out the day.
I am having a lingering reflective day,
I am in the US PST, what are you?