Elena and Behzad

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cosmiK
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Elena and Behzad

Postby cosmiK » Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:46 am

what has been pasted here:
- my pm convos
- original Elena & Behzard convo





--- BELOW is my PM Facebook follow up questions ---




Hey Behzad. I'm Neil, one of the guides from LU

2:35am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

Hey my frieand how are you?

2:39am
Neil Jalaldeen

i'm good

i was going over your thread and answers Awesome I just wanted to ask a question about thoughts - can i shoot?

2:40am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

Ofcourse, shoot

2:40am
Neil Jalaldeen

so

watch thoughts...

are they your thoughts?

2:43am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

No, absolutly not. They belong to life. The you is also a thought. The is not here just thoughts about him

2:44am
Neil Jalaldeen

can thoughts be chosen?

can you choose to think of a blue frog?

2:47am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

I forgot to write the you in the last sentence.

I cant choose to think of a blue frog but the thought is happening here because of the question " you " asked. There is no I involved in the whole process...

2:51am
Neil Jalaldeen

is there any choice? do you have control over anything?

3:06am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

My english is not so good Neil so I cant articulate exacktly what i want to say in english basically all actions arise from nothing so where is the doer then? Seems that these bodys are the doer but how could that be when action just gets done without no one doing it. Doer is a after thought. I did. I choosed and so on.

No choice and no controll. Who should make the choice and who should have controll of life. The thought I? Or maybe all the thoughts we have about us? Can thoose bundle of thoughts choose? Because outside of the past/memory expectation about future and all the thoughts about I where is the I in direct experience? Nowhere, yes? We can only find a thoughts and feelings about the I but not the actual I so if there is no I then the whole talk about choice and control is gone too. Becuase a thought is just a thought. Its not a entity that can do anything

3:07am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

I am writing from my mobile phone. Sorry of it takes a long time I am talking with my girlfrieand at the same time

3:09am
Neil Jalaldeen

wonderful answers - thank you so much

I give you a big fat CONFiRM

3:10am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

Thank you Neil and all the beautiful work that gets done on LU.

3:10am
Neil Jalaldeen

welcome home

will be in touch soon. need another guide to review your answers and we are good to go.

3:11am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

Thanks brooo

3:11am
Neil Jalaldeen

look forward to talking to ya soon

3:11am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

Thank you Neil, take care..

3:12am
Neil Jalaldeen

talk soon Behzad

3:12am
Behzad Johari Tehrani

Yes



<< ---------------------------------- most recent replies first ---------------------------------- >>





Date: Sun, 9 Dec 2012 10:39:21 +0000
Hello Elena, this is our conversation. The Editing is maybe not the best but i hope its fine for now : )

Warm regards
Behzad



Hello Elena, if others have any questions then I would love to answer them. My name on facebook is Behzad Johari Tehrani.

Thank you for youre beautiful giude...

I will read on Saturday and let me post this for others to confirm you...are you on Facebook, Benzad? We have cool groups there if you want i will add you. Let me know..I can add and you can stay or leave...but its a community of ppl who pass the gate, so to speak...

Much love...

On Thu, Dec 6, 2012 at 6:49 AM,
I forgot to write that when I look at others, I dont see any person, individual. I see just a phantom, something that is not there. But they think it is.
What I also see is just bodys doing what they are doing, working, talking, going to toilet, experiencing feelings and thoughts. And also that they are
beliving in something that does not exist : )


1) "how do you see others now?"

Basically as I see this body here. Like Buddha said "There is a path to walk on, there is walking being done, but there is no traveler. There are deeds being done, but there is no doer.”

I see others exaktly as before but the one that was driving the bodys, doing the actions, the one that we thought everything were happening to, that one is seen
to be false. The I is seen to not be there. So there is more love, caring and understanding for so called "others". Blaming, accusing is not happening as much as before.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.


The illusion of seperate self is that we assume that we are something that we are not. We assume that we are our thoughts, feelings, body. This starts in early age
when we learn from our parents that this body over here is me and that over there is mummy, daddy, sister, brother, family and so on. Here the seperation starts. Now this has
become my body, my feelings, my thoughts. Fear of death arises because death threatens my life, fear of losing what I have and anxiety/worry about the future.


But like the question says, the self is a illusion. It seems to exist only in thought but when really looked for in thoughts we found the word I and if we trace the word to where we feel/think
the I is we found nothing there. We find only the word I, Me, Self but an actual I is nowhere to be found. So there is no I and has never been. We only thought there were but that were always
a thought about a Me.


3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.


Honestly it doesnt feel anything special. Everything goes on as before but the ONE that thought he/she were living life, doing things, that one is seen to be false, non existent. Everything is as before, thoughts about me arise, thoughts about being the doer, thoughts about not being good enough, judgements and so on. But thats all there is, just those things coming and going. The one that all this was happening to, that one is not there anymore and has never been there in the first place. But we thought it was there. All this things appear to no one, to nothing.


4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

Have a honest look my friend. This is so simple that it only takes a few seconds to see this. Just let this one thought in to youre head/mind. Let it sink in slowly. Dont think about it, dont analyze it just let it in and stay with that statement and look if this is true or not. Dont trust me or belive me, explore for youre self. Find youre own answer to only this statement. See if this is true or not.

THERE IS NO YOU?

Let it sink in and see if this is true or not. You dont need anything else, just one honest look. I didnt said find the answer to that statemnet because that means that there is something to find, there is nothing to find. Just look at youre present experience and tell me where YOU are?

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?

What about the awakening it's when you realize that thoughts, claiming, no thoughts, only doing...there is no difference for life in what movement it's living right now...

When I read this part I got kind of pushed back and realized the truth in what was said. But I think the seeing has been gradual. I havent seen anything changing besides that there is more ease
in my daily life and resistance to what is is seen as something the mind does. This moment is always accepted but it is not something we can do, its alreday the case.
Mind can accept or dont accept but both of them are already accepted by life.


Ok :) lets unswear those question again one by one...you can skip the first one. Instead answer "how do you see others now?". I am very curios!! Thank you, my friend.

On Dec 4, 2012, at 5:56 AM,
Hello Elena!

This chicken here has been really cook now : )
I guess things has fallen into place now, if you would give youre questions now the answers would be much truer and deeper : )

Lets see if things are done over here : )

Take care
Behzad



thanks, Benzad. You wrote about lots of fears of being yourself. Tell me what is that you feel like being yourself....

How would you be yourself if you would not be concern to keep the image. Just imagine what that would be.

Let me know


On Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 8:18 AM

Why you think anything has to change for life? If life expressed in your embodiment in a certain way, why should life change its expression now necessarily?

Life does not have to change anything. The need to change comes from the I. But after all these years of reading so much non duality books and being on satsangs,
retreats and so on there seems to be some expectations to how it should be like. But all these is seen as passing toughts, old belifs that was not right.

Ask "the stuff" in the mind what hold you from feeling happiness and joy. Listen to what percolates. Let me know


What comes up is a lot of fear, fear of not being good enough in the eyes of the world, fear of truly being myself. I have always been the nice guy, the one that always
does the right things, knows what to do, the one that lots of people look up too and so on. Trying to always do the things to keep that image and show that to others
have been tuff. There are moments were things wanted to be said to others, love wanted to be expressed but there has always been something holding it back out of fear.
Dont want to show/give to much love to others because I would feel vulnerble/sensitive.

The thing that really comes up is fear, fear of being myself. I always have to manipulate my self to fit in because if I would just be myself maybe I would get into trouble, maybe
people would not like me anymore if I am myself, I dont want ot be judged as a bad person by my frieands, workers and so on. Fear of not being good enough, fear of not making it in the world, fear of doing wrong/bad thngs, fear of loosing everything I have achived, stress up about wanting to make more mony even if I make good money.

There are no reasons to be happy, mind wants a reason to be happy, like something has to happen on order for me to be happy.

Thats what comes up here...


Why you think anything has to change for life? If life expressed in your embodiment in a certain way, why should life change its expression now necessarily? There are some stuff that was before that made the movement in the body/mind unhappy, that stuff is still there. If you ask the stuff to reveal itself, maybe you will get some clarity what it is. Ask "the stuff" in the mind what hold you from feeling happiness and joy. Listen to what percolates. Let me know
On Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 2:45

Hello Elena :-)

Everything is fine here. We are at the main reception here in maldives and waiting for the sea plane to take us to Male and then we have a long flight back to sweden :-)

The vacation has been wounderful. Its not possible to have a bad time when you are at such a beautiful place :-)

Things have changed a little bit here. The seeing that the I does not exist has been seen and the seeing of it deepens. There aint any feeling of happiness, love or peace arising here but there is a more ease and relaxsation into what is.

I had an incredible pain in my stomach one night and there I recognised a small change or shift. There were incredible pain the whole night, i didnt slept anything but thats was all that was, the pain and the body moving left and right because of the pain. The I was seen occasionally as a thought that came in and wanted to get rid of what was happening but this was seen and let go of. It was just a thought and it cant do anything to what happens.

And during my time here in maldives there have been lot of insights/seeing how there is nobody here but only what happens.

This doesnt seem to be any special, only the seeing that the I is nothing more then a thought and that I as a story does not exist. And ofcourse there aint no I behind the I thought. There is only the I thought arising and if something has a problem with that then it is the I that has creept in the backdoor again :-)

The only question i have left is: what happend to happines, peace and love, why is it not arising here :-) ?

Lots of thank you to you Elena,
Talk to you soon..

Behzad


How is going, Behzad?

How was your vacation?


On Mon, Oct 22, 2012 at 8:58 AM,

Absolutly, thanks Elena for all the help.
I have no words to thank you.

I am just very grateful :-)

I will stay here and enjoy the beautiful beach. Its amazing here. I will go back to sweden next week on thursday. I will write to you as soon as I am home :-)

Take care and thanks again :-)


Behzad


Great work, Behzad. Now what you need to do is STOP looking, stop working. Enjoy the beach, your woman, eat, drink, hug, play...Maldives dah!!

It will serve you well to not look anymore. Just relax completely.

Write to me after you come back home. Ok?

Hugs friend!


Hahaha Niceeeee answer Elenaaaa : )

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Ofcourse not any ME anywhere. If we stay with what is happening we will find all kinds of things happening but no ME or I will be found.
Its very funny when this is being seen because it feels like a really good frieand has done the best joke ever on you and when you find
out about the joke, then the fun starts : ))

There has never been any ME. But it looks like there is a ME if you dont look carefully. But once we start to trace this I it looks like we are
hunting the I but it shows up that the hunter and what is beeing hunted, the I never existed.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

It all starts with that we belive we are our thoughts and there by even the I. We belive that we are this I thought from that all the misery starts.
When identification with I starts then the sense of seperation starts too. With this being our ground or source we start to seek happiness and avoid
pain.

The Illusion of seperate self is that we belive we are the I thought and there by we are seperate from the rest of the world. No one is controling The I thought.
It is coming and going by itself. But somewhere along the line we think this is ME and this becomes our centre from wich we meet the world. The I thought is not
present all the time, we have lots of moments during the day where the I is not present. But those moments just moves by withtout us recognising it.

As I said I comes and goes and claims to be the doer of our senses. But before I thought comes in and say that I see, seeing where happening so its a after thought.
The sam goes with all of our other senses. I thinks it is at charge and the doer behind all the action but once we look for the I then we see that it always comes together
with thoughts. And when we look a little bit closer at the thoughts there looks like there is an I in the thought but there is nothing more then a word, sound. Behind it
nothing more can be found.

3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.

Honestly it doesnt feel anything special. It almost feels depressing because the mind has painrted such a beautiful picture on how it would be but it is nothing like that so
the mind gets depressed. It cant understand that this is it. So really there is no special feeling happening here. Just a little more at eased with what is happening.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

You are not what you take youreself to be.A little bit investigation will make you see the real from the unreal. And the best thing is. Its simple. Takes a honest look at reality
so you can see for your self whats true.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?

I dont remember what I wrote to Elena but she said: What about the awakening it's when you realize that thoughts, claiming, no thoughts, only doing...there is no difference for life in what movement it's living right now... When I read this part I got kind of pushed back.




Good. So answer from your own experience.

On Oct 20, 2012, at 1:09 AM,

Elena, there is really difficult for me to answer the questions. I dont feel like I am talking from my direct experience when I wrote
the answer to the questions. I answered the first and second question but i took it away because the answers were not coming from my direct
experience there were pondering happening, thinking out how things are so I could answer the questions. I didnt feel the words were coming
from my direct experience, it was like i were thinking about the question to answer it?

The answer didnt come spontanusly I had to think how it is then answer? Didnt felt 100% honest, so I took it away.

Why is it so?


ahhh, Maldives! Never been there, but enjoy, my friend!

I feel as energies, the seeking in you calmed down, and you see that anything at this moment: rain, shine, thoughts, no thoughts, love, frustration...anything...whats the difference for life how to express itself? Its only feeling, sensations are of the various flavor, and some are comfortable, some not. The tendency is when sensations are uncomfortable - something wrong - and the belief sitting in the mind, a habit-thoughts comes up "Must be not awakening yet" "Awakening its when its blissful" and etc. And Awakening is only seeing that all what is happening is life living itself, and if thought "I" present, well, then this is exactly the experience that is going : "I thought present. So what?



I will give you these 5 questions, and you write for each of them as much as you can please, 100% honest. You don't need to answer in one shot. Make sure you enjoy your time on the beach! :)

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?




On Wed, Oct 17, 2012 at 11:34

Hello Elena,

I see that my answer to you yesterday didnt got send so I answer again and try to send it.

Yes thats true wich you say. Its the mind thats seperates the experience and thinks that enlightenment should
look in some way that we except it to be. Wether there is claiming, thoughts, no thoughts, resistance or only doing
then its all the same. Minds seperate the experience and prefer the one over the other. When mind wants the experience
in a special way then thats as much "it" as when mind dont want the experience it is having. Both are equal.

We are in maldives, its so beautiful here. In the reception they have free Wifi so I am going to come here every night and answer youre questions.

Hope everything is good with you, take care.
Behzad


You are assuming that awakening its when no thoughts, just doing. When no claiming the experience, only experience.

What about the awakening it's when you realize that thoughts, claiming, no thoughts, only doing...there is no difference for life in what movement it's living right now...



On Oct 14, 2012, at 3:27 PM

Once a day sounds very good. Have been waiting for you : )

I dont feel unsatisfaction or doubt as much as before. There is more relaxsation. But it feels like this understanding
hasnt settled down 100 %. I see how the I thought/thoughts arises, claims everything and then its gone for a while. And yes there
is no I att all besides in thought/thougts. And the body does what it does and I comes later and claims the doing. Before
there were no I only the doing happening. Thats crystal clear.

So I see clearly that the I is just a thought and exist only in the head but I still feel like I am here or maybe its better to
remove the I and say there is a feeling of being here but I dont get that part that I dont exist. That seeing is not happening over here
that I dont exist? And has never existed? What am I missing?




I am glad you are going on vacation! Let's continue to look, friend. Once a day, ok?

So what's missing now? Where is unsatisfaction, doubt? Find thoughts associated. What are they?


On Oct 14, 2012, at 1:17 PM
Hello Elena!

I hope everything is good with you. I will go on vaccation/holliday tomorrow with my girl frieand.
I just wanted to say that i want be availble so much because i will be away for 2 weeks. But I will
look my mail whenever i can because we have internet in the hotel.

If you are to bizzy then I can talk to someone on the forum to get help : ) ?

Hope everything is good with you,
take care...

Lots of love
Behzad


sorry, i was away! Let me look and i will reply and start working tomorrow, ok?
On Tue, Oct 9, 2012 at 3:07 PM

Have you forgotten me Elena : ) ?

it will :)
On Sat, Oct 6, 2012 at 11:26 AM

Thank you Elena, I wish a wounderful weekend for you too.
I apreciate youre help a lot.

May this uncertainty that I have end soon...
________________________________________
Date: Sat, 6 Oct 2012 11:21:27 -0400

Have a great weekend!
On Sat, Oct 6, 2012 at 11:16 AM
Absolutly, I will look, investigate and come back to you....



See if there are moments where you naturally just flow and feel relaxation, and they are perfect, and no need to remind. And see that there are moments when you need to remind. Look how those moments are different . Why its natural in one moment and like a wall in a another. Look up what makes it flow and what makes it stuck in another..what thoughts present, what sensations, feelings - whatever is, you need to look, not ponder or think. Its investigation right into the present moment.
On Sat, Oct 6, 2012 at 10:50 AM

The different is that some part of me gets suck into beliving that there is a ME and is living from that perspective and then
there is a remembering of there is no I and there is a letting go of the story of being a person. And then there is ease for a moment
and the I get seen for what it is and then again the same thing happens. Its like back and forth. From story to being storyless.

So the different is that there is more relaxsation happening when I remind my self of there is no I. But it takes effort to become aware
of the moments I get lost? Is this all intellectual understanding only?


At those moments when you have to remind yourself, whats different?


On Oct 6, 2012, at 10:31 AM,

Yes, when I see that it doesnt work then it stops.
The frustraiton is not present at the moment And I feel more att ease.

Some part of me knows that there is no I but still this is not really experienced here all the time.
Its like I have to make an effort and remind my self of it. Why is it like that?
I want to be sure of this? That it is the case all the time?


So stop doing it.

That's the only veil that is left.


On Oct 6, 2012, at 4:50 AM

That wich comes up is that I want something that I cant get. And I doesnt know how to get it so frustration arises....

The only thing that comes up is that the frustration wants to show me that what I am doing is not working?


As the frustration to come closer and show you why it is there.

Really. Invite frustration, say thanks for coming and trying to tell me something. I am ready to listen, Please tell me what if that you want to show me. Then become very quite.

Listen whats comes up.
On Fri, Oct 5, 2012 at 4:24 PM,

I see that I have had a belief that I will never get this because I have tried everything. It will never happen to me.
Thats a belief I took on after I had been searching for years and gave up too seek more because i would never get
it anyway. So I stoped searching, started studying, and just having fun in the world and I didnt care anymore about
enligthenment because that would never happen to me anyway.

But now I cant move on anymore, this has to stop. I have to found this out. But I need help Elena, I dont know what
to do anymore or how to do it. Please push me to see this, I have to do it....




It feels like I need this to sink and see what happens : )"

Tell me exactly how you feel. Ask the feeling to reveal itself and ask what feeling is present in the body



On Oct 5, 2012, at 5:19 AM,
It feels like I need this to sink and see what happens : )



this is very nice what you wrote about relaxation, Behzad

Is there you in any shape or form in the reality?

Do you exist?

On Thu, Oct 4, 2012 at 5:19 AM

When I read youre answer I realized how silly that thought is " that here has to be a woow moment when truth gets seen" It made me laugh
because I cant belive how I could belive that, kind of funny now when I think about it.

And that thought creates a sense of lack, that something is missing here and now and it will be found when truth is seen.
But when the thought is not belived then the sense of something missing goes away with the thought. And there is a sense of landing
back where I am already, here and now.

Other expectations also came up now like "this is not it, most be something more", or "why cant I see the truth" and so on but these are not belived in
anymore, they come and go and I am here and it feels okej wether they come or go.

I also feel that my expectations when belived in was a fuel for the seeking to continue but now when the expectations has been seen and are not belived in,
then it feels like the mind/thoughts have slowed down : ) And there is a small relaxsation, like a small outhbreath aahhhh.

All the thoughts that has been belived in comes up and there is a sense of releaseing them, letting them go one by one and just be here, or staying as the now.


That is what has comed up Elena and thank you for being with me true this, means a lot to me....

Behzad


"And my expectations are that there has to be a woowww moment where the truth gets seen once and for all and then everything is over,
no more seeking, just peace and happiness."

Ok, how about all talk about "here and now" ?

And you are expecting some wow. WOW is not happening now, so it must be sometimes in the future where I will become awakened. But what about this NOW? All awakened people tell about this NOW. That all is awakened in this NOW. And there is WOW for you in this NOW. Does it mean that this NOW is not awakened? No, its totally awakened. Only mind that has a concept that there is now WOW in this NOW makes it not enough, mind reaching for more, there is suffering.

Ponder on it. Let me know whats comes up.


On Tue, Oct 2, 2012 at 4:45 AM

Thank you for youre answer.

The expectations that comes up are basically that this moment is not the way it should be.
I think that I have always waited for the "WOOW" moment were enlightenment happen. Some kind of event, and
what is, is not the WOOWWW moment where the I gets seen for what it is. I guess I have and have had a fantasy, an image
about how it would look like if I wake up and what is at the moment is not matching that fantasy.

That wich is on the way for the mind to relax is my expectations. The mind have some kind of picture about how this moment should be
and at the moment it is not the way the mind want it to be. The mind want the final moment when the truth gets seen.

I also see why the mind cant relax, if it relaxes then it is some kind of death for it. The expectations, the hopes for a better future
is what keeps it going. When I ask if the mind is ready to relax then its seen that it is not ready yet. The mind cant relax because it has not got what It wanted.

So that wich comes up is that, that wich is in the way for the mind to relax is my expectations about how elinghtenment should look like.
And my expectations are that there has to be a woowww moment where the truth gets seen once and for all and then everything is over,
no more seeking, just peace and happiness.

Thanks again for taking youre time



Benzad, thanks you for inquiring the mind what it really wants.

"being done with the search and satisfied with what is." you wrote.

so you have some expectations "what is" should be. And mind just wants to relax, regardless of your expectations.

Look what expectations you hold, what is on the way of the mind to relax.

Ask the mind, if its ready to relax right now...

Listen.

Ask why it can't relax...

let it speak to you what is on the way for it to relax.

You don't rush, bc I also not always available here.
Take your time, friend.




On Tue, Oct 2, 2012 at 2:16 AM
Thank you Elena for taking time and being with me in this. Means a lot to me.

I sat down and asked the mind whats needed for the mind to realx. And first it was silent. And then thoughts came up like.
"I will never be satisfied" "I want this and that and so on" and I sat a little bit longer and then it said that it wants peace, relaxsation, happiness, a sense
of being done with the search and satisfied whit what is.

That was what came up Elena.

Warm regards
Behzad



Hello, Behzad!

Thank you for reaching out!

Of cause I understand the unsatisfaction.

"It feels like this is it but my mind is not satisfide with that answer and keeps going on. I am so fed up with not knowing for sure the truth and its painful."

Unsatisfactin of the mind is the only what keeps it in search and going until it satisfied :)

Can you actually take a time, sit down and talk to the mind?

Ask if the mind wants to relax now.

Listen.

Ask what it is needed for mind to relax.

Ask gently. Sit quietly and listen.

Let me know what came up.

Thank you.
Elena
On Mon, Oct 1, 2012 at 3:35

Hello Elena!

I have followed you a few weeks now and read and seen some of youre clips and feel pulled towards you.

I have been doing anything you can imgaine on the spiritual path. Redaing, listening talks, satsang, retreats, self enqaury and so on.
Have been with lots of teachers. Read books from ramana maharashi, nisargadatta, papaji, Eckhart tolle, Jeff foster, bob damson and the list
just keeps going on and on : )

The seeking was really intense 10 years ago and kept going for a few years until I got enough, I couldnt take it anymore. So tired of not finding the truth.
I just let everything go and kept going with my normal life. I wasnt seeking anymore and I forgot the whole thing about elinghtenment because it made
me miserable. Now a few years later there is seeking again but not as it were before, not that intense. Maybe because I have had enough glimpses
and seen that Its not necessary to seek whats already the case.

But even if its cristal clear that the "ME" or the "I" isnt something permanent, its just comes and goes. And in those moments when the I is not present then there is
just whats happening. And the I comes in with its storys like Who am I, Who is whatching the happenings and so on and the answer is ofcourse no one.
I dont find anyone when I look and are always left with basically nothing and everything that is going on in the moment.

It feels like this is it but my mind is not satisfide with that answer and keeps going on. I am so fed up with not knowing for sure the truth and its painful.
I hope you can guide/help me to see the truth for myself. In some way it feels like the truth gets seen but its not satisfiying or maybe its just imagination
i dont know : (

Please help me to see this, I dont want to keep going until this is seen for sure.

Sorry if my english is not so good but i hope you understand me. I live in sweden and I dont use English so much : )



Lots of love to you...
Behzad

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