I am ready.

[pendulum]

Hello

I am searching for a connection to something, something that makes me feel whole. I am in the flow depending on the moment. I would love to experience being liberated.

Thank you,
Pendulum aka Cheryl

[Metta777]

I would happy to be your guide if you like. Two agreements are necessary, communication once a day, put aside any other religious practice for the time being. Keep an open mind and communicate honestly. Warmly, Metta

[pendulum]

Thank you Metta. I agree to the two agreements and do the best to keep an open mind and communicate honestly. Cheryl <3

[pendulum]

Ok Let me rephrase this... I agree to the two aggreement to putting aside religious practices, keeping an open mind and communicating honestly. Cheryl :D

[Metta777]

Hi Pen, Great. Tell me a little about yourself, what brought you here and what do you expect as far as reaching enlightenment is concerned? Thanks, Metta777

[pendulum]

Hello Metta,

I am an empath, Reiki Master, Level one Quantum touch healer, have taken mediumship classes but I have for some time stopped all of these practises so I can better observe myself. I have been examing my energy and what I do with it. I have for the past few weeks been observing thoughts.

A friend refered me to this site and she went through the process and said it can be life altering when you pop. That all the searching stops and you realize you need nothing. I do have moments like that but I go in and out of these moments.

It would be nice to have clariety. To know and not wonder. Thanks Pendulum

[Metta777]

It sounds like a lot of interesting things going on. To start I would ask some questions. Are thoughts " I " ? Can you see any identity in feelings, sensations, perceptions or do they just happen? Is there an " I " in control? Focus and think about the questions while being aware of breathing, the rising and falling of your chest, abdomen, etc. Regards, Metta

[pendulum]

Hello Metta,
Sorry for the late reply. I was observing myself for the past few days to better answer the questions.

No thoughts are not I. Thoughts come and go. I observe the identity I have with the words as I am in my story but mostly I find myself laughing while I talk my story because I am very detatched from it. What control can I possibly have? The story just plays out. So do I have control. I use to think I had control to alter a story by choices. But as I have been osberving and pondering, what I find as most truth is when I am still and lit up, in my true essence life just happens. The story plays out nicely when one is still. When you go more into the story there are more challenges or lessons. Thank you Cheryl

[Metta777]

So, is there an " I " anywhere, in any form that you can find at all? Perhaps, you might be ready. :-) Warmly, Metta

[pendulum]

Hello Metta,
The only sense of I that I can feel is energy. The pure essence of what is. The essence is ever expanding to no end. There is no shape or form. It just is.
^_^ Pendulum

[pendulum]

The essence is everywhere and ever expanding.

[Metta777]

There are only thoughts, perceptions, seeing, hearing,smelling,tasting, etc. Arising. Experiencing. What is the difference between direct experience and perceptions? The past is a story,that is correct, some are painful, some are joyful, but just a story nonetheless. So when we really look we can drop all labels,conditioning and expectations. The future is imagined, usually in conjunction with the past. A future is projected based on conditioning. Not real. it has not arrived yet and will not. So if there is no past and no future, where does that leave the perception of existence. Warmly, Metta

[pendulum]

Direct experience is that it is happening now. I am experiencing it like eating an apple. It is obvious that I am experiencing it. Perceptions are thoughts based on our experiences such as too bad I didn't have an apple yesterday and I wish I will buy a better apple tomorrow. We can drop the labels, conditioning and expectations when we choose to just be in the moment. Recognize that all will happen as it is meant to. Appreciate what each moment brings as each moment happens. Existence just is. In this moment I am everything and everything is me. There is no seperation in what is.
Hugs Cheryl

[Metta777]

Existence just is

Yes!

Who are you? Do you find an identity anywhere? Who is everything? When observing is there a feeling of possession? What is being possessed? What is it, that just is? Direct experience is just the arising of thoughts, emotions,sensations. Is there an " I " or identity in any of that? Hugs, Metta

[pendulum]

Honestly I woke with a lot of empath identity this morning. Angry I flet this and that on awakening. Having to take the process of lighting up to remove all the thoughts emposed on me while I slept. Thoughts of others, thoughts of mine. Honestly this idenitifying is not pleasent sometimes.

I am energy. I am a reflection of what is being expressed through the Cheryl identity. The universal energy/god light is everything. I am not sure what you talk of when u talk of possession. Do you mean I feel two identities? Yes. One that is Cheryl experiencing this life and the other is a being that laughs at the experiences because nothing matters. The universal/god energy or light just is. The true essence of what is. The being of who I Am. The direct experience of arising thoughts, emotions, sensations can be pleasent or unpleasent if I choose to identify with them. When I step out of it all, I am free. Is there an I? All this would be so much easier if there was not an I that identified. So this morning in my identification of emotions, sensations, thoughts I go through a process of telling myself there is no I. And I look to who I Am. And I retreat into my freedom of just being. I release all the false belief of who I Am. I return to just being again. It would be splendit to just be without identifying.
There is no trying ~ just being, Cheryl (When I am being, I am splendid universal/god energy shining brightly perfectly)